Paper X-Naut: The Hidden Legacy
by Pikmanipulator
Summary: During the events of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, an X-Naut undergoes his own confused journey as he persistently tries to dog Mario's steps while gradually learning more of the world under the moon. This is a fanfic I once displayed on the late NSider forums back around 2005-2007-ish. I've only been able to salvage up to Chapter 3, and I have no interest in finishing it.
1. Prologue: A Memory's Beginning

**Author's Note (from back in 2005):**

This is my first fan-fiction (at least, that I've posted on Nsider). It's been almost two years since the release of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, so I thought this would be a good time to post a story which takes place during the game. This story focuses on, instead of Mario, an X-Naut. That's right, a foot soldier of the X-Naut organization. However, as you'll soon see, this X-Naut is a little different from all the other soldiers…

 **Note to all readers:** Since this fanfic follows the storyline of PM:TTYD **directly** , it contains **major** PM:TTYD spoilers. Do **not** read if you are planning on buying the game and finding out the story for yourself. If you have already played the game, or would like to learn the story from a different perspective, then read on.

* * *

There is an unopened book lying on a stone floor. It has a brown cover with a yellow star on it. A narrator speaks.

VOICE: Ahem! Today…I'm going to tell you the story of the Thousand-Year Door. An awfully long time ago in a strange and far-off land, a big, bustling town thrived.

A white-gloved hand reaches down and opens the book to the first page. There's a picture of a large town on an island. The buildings tower to the skies, and the clouds have happy faces on them. It seems very calm and peaceful.

VOICE: It was a town where people lived very happy lives, and it was said that the town was very prosperous. But one day, tragedy befell this blessed place. A great cataclysm struck the town and its people.

The hand turns the page, revealing another picture of the town. This time, it is besieged with thunderclouds, lightning, and stormy waves. Many buildings are toppling over.

VOICE: Darkness filled the skies, and the earth roared and shook. It was as if the very world had come to a violent end. And in but a single night, the town sank into the depths of the earth.

The next page reveals a small strip of land with only a few small buildings. Some ships sail nearby in the ocean. Everything looks peaceful again.

VOICE: Many moons rose and set. Stories of the town passed into the pages of fairy tales. And when the town's site no longer held relics of its past, people gathered at that spot and built a new town.

The page turns, showing a picture of a treasure chest.

VOICE: But word soon spread among the people who moved in that an ancient city lay deep underground and that a magnificent treasure rested there. Indeed, this is the tale of the fabled treasure of Rogueport.

The page turns, showing a photograph of a modern town.

VOICE: Yes, this is where it begins, in the sea town of Rogueport. The tale of the quest for the legendary treasure and the Thousand-Year Door…starts here.

The camera zooms out from the book, revealing an X-Naut as the narrator. The X-Naut, like other X-Nauts, wears a uniform with an X striped in front. The X-Naut wears white gloves, white boots, and a white cloth covering his head. He wears large goggles and a zigzag collar popped up so that his face is completely masked. Unlike other X-Nauts, this one wears a uniform that is completely white except for the black X in the middle. Also, whereas most X-Nauts have short, straight ears sticking out of their headgear, this X-Naut has long, floppy ears that droop down behind his shoulders.

He sits on a series of granite steps that leads to a long-unused fountain, as gray as the stone buildings and pillars surrounding it. The lowest portion of the area is filled with a thin layer of water. A quartet of lampposts sits outside the buildings, providing the only light in the cavernous dwelling. Many regular X-Nauts pace around the fountain, while a large one with a black uniform, purple horned headgear, red collar and cape, black boots, and small, rounded goggles approaches the white X-Naut.

?: X-Naut White!

X-NAUT WHITE: *closes the book and turns to the mystery X-Naut* Yes, Lord Crump?

LORD CRUMP: Stop looking at that book and get your butt over here!

WHITE: Yes, Lord Crump.

The X-Nauts known as Lord Crump and White walk over to the fountain.

CRUMP: Tell me, are you absolutely sure the Crystal Star is supposed to be here?

WHITE: I'm positive. According to my information, this fountain was a revered landmark in ancient times. Its size and inner chambers, not to mention its importance, makes it an ideal place to hide something precious.

CRUMP: *turns to X-Naut White* How can you be certain? We've tried to dig into it a gazillion times, and still no Crystal Star!

WHITE: Lord Crump… Have I ever steered you wrong?

CRUMP: Well, no, but…

VOICE: Lord Crump!

Lord Crump and X-Naut White turn to the source of the voice. An X-Naut PhD walks toward them. He wears a blue uniform and a lab coat, and he holds a clipboard in his hand.

X-NAUT PhD: I may have stumbled upon something, sir! We may have been approaching this fountain from the wrong angles! After further analysis, I can confirm that the inner chambers are closed! Impenetrable, too, I might add! However, there may be a way to open the inner chambers from the outside!

CRUMP: Well, don't keep me in suspense! Let's see you test your theory!

PhD: Yes sir! *turns to three regular X-Nauts* All right, soldiers, let it rip!

The three X-Nauts take hold of the ornaments protruding from the fountain and push them counterclockwise. The fountain grinds with protest, but the X-Nauts continue turning it without much difficulty. They stop abruptly, and something rumbles in the ground. A glittering white gem shaped like a star floats out from the fountain and lands in the hands of one of the three X-Nauts.

CRUMP: *jumps up and down* Buh-huh? Could that possibly be the Crystal Star we're looking for? It sure looks like it, but does it—

Suddenly, the Crystal Star starts shining brightly in the hands of the X-Naut.

EVERYONE: **!**

The light slowly engulfs the X-Naut and brightens the area with blinding intensity.

* * *

 **Prelude**

The story begins in the holding room on the 4th sublevel of the X-Naut Fortress. A regular, red-uniformed X-Naut is lying on the bed, unconscious.

X-NAUT: *opens eyes and blinks* Ugh… Where am I? Who am I? *stands on the bed and looks around*

The room is fairly large, with nothing much more than the bed and a few lockers. A lamp sits on a metal stool next to the bed, with a table next to it. Across from the bed are a couple of canisters. The entire room is made of steel, with wall lights filling the room with a cold, metallic light. Two steel doors are on either side of the room.

One door slides open and two X-Nauts enter the room. One is an Elite X-Naut, looking exactly like a normal X-Naut except with black clothes wherever there are usually white, red goggles, and a red uniform with a white X. The other X-Naut is a PhD. They both walk over to the X-Naut's bed.

ELITE X-NAUT: So…awake, are you?

X-NAUT: Who are you?

ELITE: Huh? Why, I'm your chief, of course! I'm your boss! Your superior! Your controller!

X-NAUT PhD: Let's not overdo things, Chief. This patient has apparently experienced amnesia.

X-NAUT: Uhhh… What? Amnesia? What's going on?

PhD: *steps forward* Let me explain. You are an X-Naut. A foot soldier. One of Sir Grodus's underlings. You were recently on a mission, and you fainted. You were brought back here to the X-Naut Fortress to recover. Are you with me so far?

X-NAUT: …

PhD: I'll take that as a "yes". Now, let's take a review quiz. Who are you?

X-NAUT: …An X-Naut?

PhD: Good. Now, who is your master?

X-NAUT: …Umm, the chief?

CHIEF: Correct!

PhD: Actually, no. The chief is just your instructor. Your real master is Sir Grodus. All of us must take orders from him. *takes out a clipboard and starts writing on it*

CHIEF: Hmph. Well, yes. But enough quizzing! Since you answered both questions, you're obviously doing fine. So get out of bed and stop wasting time! Dr. X. Peramint here has your next assignment. Maybe getting back to work will jog the rest of your memory! Heh heh! *enters door opposite of the one he came in*

DR. X. PERAMINT: *puts away clipboard* Pay him no mind. But it is about time you got to work. Just follow me.

The PhD now known as Dr. X. Peramint leads X-Naut out the first door. Beyond the door that the chief went through, the sound of a toilet flushing can be heard…

 **PROLOGUE**  
 **A MEMORY'S BEGINNING**

 **Part 1: Back to Work**

Dr. X. Peramint and the X-Naut take a capsule-shaped elevator to a hallway that's even more metallic than the holding room. Large pipelines, canisters, doors with lamps above them, and more cold lights line the hallway. Many X-Nauts are walking around. One group of X-Nauts spots X-Naut as he exits the elevator and walks up to him.

1st X-NAUT: Hey, how's it going, X-man?

2nd X-NAUT: So, are you feeling better?

X-NAUT: Uhh… I guess.

2nd X-NAUT: Good! So, are you going to create a Yux now?

X-NAUT: **?**

3rd X-NAUT: Are you ready for it?

4th X-NAUT: Yeah, tell us, man!

X-NAUT: Who are you guys anyway?

EVERYONE: …

1st X-NAUT: What!? You seriously don't know us? I'm Johnson! And this is Kevin, Simon, and Rupert! Remember?

X-NAUT: …No.

KEVIN: C'mon, man! You HAVE to remember us! We're you're buddies! Re-mem-ber?

X-NAUT: Wait, you all have names? Then what's my name?

EVERYONE: …

JOHNSON: Oh, forget you, man! You're too weird for our tastes!

The group of X-Nauts walks away.

X-NAUT: *looks around at them* **?**

DR. X. PERAMINT: X-Naut! What are you doing? Over here!

Dr. X. Peramint is standing beside a door with a green lamp above it, waiting for X-Naut.

X-NAUT: *runs over to X. Peramint*

X. PERAMINT: Inside this door is where you'll perform your assignment. But before we go inside, I'd recommend you hit that Save Block over there to save.

X-NAUT: *walks to Save Block and jumps into it, saving his progress, then returns to X. Peramint*

The door opens electronically and the two go inside. The room turns out to be the genetics lab. A trio of stasis capsules sits in a corner of the room, with some odd bacteria-like creatures floating inside of them. Sitting in front to the capsules are some more canisters. On the other side of the stasis tubes are two cabinets filled with potions. In front of them sits a small steel ladder. In the center of the room rests a long, metal table with three potions set on top. An air vent hangs loosely from a corner of the ceiling.

X. PERAMINT: This is the genetics lab. X-Naut, it's time for you to take the first part of your PhD exam. Your job is to create a Yux, a creature that assists the X-Nauts. Now go over to the empty stasis tube there and begin working. I'll monitor your progress.

X-NAUT: *walks over to empty capsule and stands there, not doing anything*

X. PERAMINT: What's the matter? You've been taught the procedure before. Did you forget it?

X-NAUT: …Kind of…

X. PERAMINT: Then I'll explain it. The Yux DNA is floating inside that tube. You need to inject a liquid that will attract the DNA and cause it to accumulate inside the liquid. Then you'll need to inject a liquid with life-forming bacteria in it, so that, when combined with the DNA, it will form the necessary organs and body structure for a Yux. Do you understand?

X-NAUT: I think so.

X. PERAMINT: Good. Now get busy.

 **Author's Note (2005):** "This would be the part where you control X-Naut, that is, if this were a real game and you were playing it. But it isn't, and you're not, so X-Naut will be described as if he is performing the actions himself." **Author's Note (2017):** As you can see, I tried REALLY hard to make this story sound like the game it's based on.

X-Naut reads the descriptions of each jar of liquid on the table, takes the yellow one, and inserts it into the tube to transfer it. Then he takes the green liquid and inserts it next. The yellow blob floating inside the stasis tube seems to absorb the green liquid. Like magic, four appendages start taking form from the blob.

X-NAUT: Wait, what's this liquid? *lifts jar of pink liquid sitting near canisters*

The description on the glass reads "heart and mind".

X-NAUT: Am I supposed to put this in too? I don't know what it means, but it seems important… *inserts pink liquid*

DR. X. PERAMINT: *is scribbling away on clipboard, so doesn't see*

The developing blob inside the capsule absorbs the pink liquid. Eventually it grows into an X-shaped, green yellow creature with no distinct features other than two unusually big and shiny eyes, a small mouth, and the four tentacles that give it its X-shape.

YUX: *pushes against top of capsule, opens it, and comes out on its own* Yux. (Hi.)

X. PERAMINT: Hmm… It appears to be normal. Congratulations, X-Naut. You have passed your assignment. Perhaps you may become an X-Naut PhD someday.

YUX: *turns to X-Naut, floats over and licks him* Yux! (Hi there! )

X. PERAMINT: *writes on clipboard* Hmm… That's unusual behavior…

X-NAUT: Uhh…hi! My name's…X-Naut, I guess. I can't remember my real name…

YUX: Yux… (That's too bad…)

X-NAUT: But you seem to like me anyway! You do, don't you?

YUX: *bounces* Yux! Yux! (Of course, silly! You created me, after all!)

X. PERAMINT: Why are you talking to that Yux? They aren't created for conversations, in case you didn't know.

X-NAUT: So what's your name?

YUX: Yux… (Um, I don't have a name yet…)

X-NAUT: You don't have a name either? Well, that's no fun. But I suppose that I can name you, since I created you.

X. PERAMINT: You can understand it? Preposterous, yet intriguing… *continues writing*

X-NAUT: Now, what would a suitable name for you be?

Name that Yux! **Author's Note (2005):** "Since I'm the one who's writing the story, I'll give her—yes, the Yux is a female—my own name I thought up: Yuxette."

YUXETTE: Yux! Yux! (Cool! Good name!)

X-NAUT: You like that name, huh? Well, I'm glad for you.

YUXETTE: Yux! (Thanks a lot!) *licks X-Naut again* Yux? (Can I stay with you?)

X-NAUT: You want to be my companion? Well, I suppose it would be nice to have a friend who doesn't think I'm weird… From now on, Yuxette, you can be my pet! Is that OK with you?

YUXETTE: Yux! (Hey, I'm no pet!) Yux! Yux! (Just kidding! Whatever you say is fine with me! )

The Yux joined X-Naut's party! She'll respond to "Yuxette"! The Yux's abilities: A Primer. Press X to make the Yux shoot a laser ring from her mouth. Press and hold X to charge up her laser and make it more powerful. X-Naut can even move around while charging! And of course, the Yux can quite helpful in battle, too. She can attack enemies with her Laser Ring, or she can produce a Mini-Yux with her Duplicate ability. The Mini-Yux can absorb one attack directed towards the Yux.

X-NAUT: So, umm…Dr. Experiment, is it? What do we do now?

X. PERAMINT: *scribbling furiously* Hmm… This is most puzzling, indeed. This nearly defies the law of Yuxes, if there was one. I've never seen a Yux behave so…affectionately. Something must have occurred during development… *looks up* Huh? Oh, yeah. The chief is waiting for you on the 1st sublevel. Just take the Elevator Key on the table, go to the elevator, and select Sublevel 1.

X-NAUT: *goes to table, obtains blue Elevator Key and exits room with Yuxette behind him*

* * *

 **Part 2: Battle Basics**

As X-Naut and Yuxette leave the genetics lab, a voice speaks over the intercom.

VOICE: Ahem! Attention, all X-Nauts! This is Lord Crump speaking! You all are to come with me to Rogueport! Right. NOW!

Tons of X-Nauts run down the hallway, stampeding past a startled X-Naut and Yuxette. They enter through a door that isn't far from the genetics lab door. The door closes after the mob enters, leaving X-Naut as the only remaining X-Naut.

YUXETTE: Yux? (OK, what's up with that?)

X-NAUT: I wonder. What's Rogueport? And who's Lord Crump?

They continue to the elevator, activating it with the key and taking it up to the 1st sublevel. When the elevator doors slides open, X-Naut and Yuxette find that the Sublevel 1 hallway isn't much different from the Sublevel 2 hallway, just shorter. The only two doors are at either end of the hallway, one having a red lamp glowing above it. A computer terminal sits near the latter door, with the chief waiting beside it.

CHIEF: There you are! Finally done with that assignment, are you? **!** Hey! What's that Yux doing with you?

X-NAUT: Her name is Yuxette, and she's my companion.

CHIEF: You named it?! Ah, whatever. …Why are you still here, anyway? You were supposed to join the other X-Nauts in the Tour Del Rogueport!

X-NAUT: Uh, yeah, about that… Chief, what was that announcement? Who's Lord Crump? And what's Rogueport?

CHIEF: So many questions! All right, first of all, Lord Crump is the second-in-command, next to Grodus. Rogueport is a town full of shady characters. Lord Crump, I guess, is going to do who-knows-what there and needed some help. All of the standard foot soldiers are gone now… But I'm glad you're still here. You know why? *walks over to door on right side* A bunch of nasty creatures called Smorgs have invaded this room. The two of us need to clear them out. *turns to X-Naut* So don't just stand there! Let's get into this room! *walks to nearby terminal and types in password*

The light above the door turns from red to green, indicating the door has been unlocked. X-Naut and Yuxette walk and float over—X-Naut walks, Yuxette floats—to the door and prepare to open it.

CHIEF: **!** Wait! I just remembered something! Since you'll probably be doing some battling, you'd better know how to! Do you remember how to do Action Commands?

X-NAUT: Nope.

CHIEF: I should have expected that. In that case, I had better teach you in a practice session. Your Yux can be your opponent.

YUXETTE: Yux?! (What?!)

 _BATTLE MODE ENTERED!_

Red curtains cover the screen and pull back to reveal the trio on a wooden, ramshackle stage. Rows of chairs are lined up facing the stage, with no one seated in them. X-Naut and Yuxette stand on opposite ends of the stage with the chief standing in the middle. Many scenic props are displayed in the background to give the stage the same environment as the X-Naut Fortress.

CHIEF: All right, let's make this quick! Your Slam Action Command is the only attack you have, so let's work with it! Choose your Slam command and then choose the enemy you'll attack!

X-NAUT: *chooses Slam command and selects Yuxette as his target*

CHIEF: Now see there? The Action Command details appear there! If you're smart, read them!

[Press A to stop the gauge when it reaches "OK!"]

X-Naut readies himself to charge as the bar automatically fills up. When it reaches a spot indicated by "OK!", the chief speaks again.

CHIEF: There! When you reach a spot like that, press A to launch your attack!

X-NAUT: *runs forward and jumps high, slamming down into Yuxette, then retreats to his side of stage*

CHIEF: If the word "NICE" appears, you'll know you did it right. You'll inflict extra damage if that happens! *turns to Yuxette* Now it's the Yux's turn to attack. Shoot him, you alien-thing!

YUXETTE: …Yux. Yux. (…Fine. I'll do it for X-Naut, but not because you told me to.) *focuses, then fires laser ring at X-Naut*

CHIEF: *turns to X-Naut* Now, there's this technique that lets you press A just before the attack hits you…

X-NAUT: *braces self when laser ring hits*

CHIEF: …Yeah, that's the Guard Action Command. It'll help reduce the damage you take. But listen up! It won't work if you try to cheat and tap A rapidly to guard! And remember this, if nothing else: Action Commands change depending on the attack! Now…moving on! Let me show you another Slam Action Command!

X-NAUT: *selects Slam command and targets Yuxette again*

CHIEF: This time, don't press A until I tell you to!

The gauge fills up again, going past the first "OK!" and towards a second "OK!"

CHIEF: Now! Press A now!

X-NAUT: *tackles Yuxette and retreats to his spot*

CHIEF: That was a frontal assault. Pressing A at the second "OK!" will do that. What's the difference between the two commands, you ask? Well…maybe you'll find out someday. *turns to Yuxette* Now then… There's this really cool technique I know, but are you worthy of knowing it? Guess I'll find out pretty soon. Yux! Attack him now!

YUXETTE: …Yux. (…Bossy.) *fires another laser ring*

CHIEF: *turns to X-Naut* Now, X-Naut! Let's see you pull this off! This time, press B right before you get struck!

X-NAUT: *spins around rapidly, nullifying laser ring*

CHIEF: What the?! …You actually did it! You countered the enemy's attack! You did the Superguard! With the Superguard, you take no damage AND you damage your enemy in return. …Sometimes. But listen! Superguards are harder to do than standard A guards. Choose wisely between them! And…we're through! We're done with Action Commands! And with good time, too! …Unless you'd like to go over all that again. Well? Do you?

X-NAUT: No, I've got it.

CHIEF: Good! Now I don't have to waste any more time teaching you amateurs!

 _BATTLE MODE END!_

The theater disappears and X-Naut, Yuxette, and the chief appear back in the Sublevel 1 hallway.

CHIEF: All right! Now that that's over with, let's get to work!

The three of them go through the door. The room inside is made completely out of metal, as usual. A metallic Thwomp bust sits upon a steel block, crafted like a spiky stone with a face. The floor is an iron grid with the circuitry visible underneath. A bunch of creatures that look like black puffs of smoke with yellow eyes are bouncing around the room.

CREATURES: SMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORGSMORG

YUXETTE: Yux! Yux? (Whoa! What in the world are those things?)

CHIEF: There they are! The Smorgs! Let's get 'em! *turns to X-Naut* Don't just stand there! Use your partner's ability with X and pummel them!

X-Naut uses Yuxette's ability to fire laser rings at the Smorgs. The more Yuxette's laser rings are charged, the more Smorgs are blown away by the collision. Eventually, the Smorgs get angry and surround X-Naut, Yuxette, and the chief, who are then looking around frantically. The Smorgs close in and X-Naut and Yuxette enter their first battle.

 _BATTLE MODE ENTERED!_

X-Naut, Yuxette, and the chief are back onstage, this time on the same side. On the opposite side are three Smorgs, each with 2 HP.

CHIEF: Useless vermin… X-Naut! I hope you haven't forgotten those Action Commands already, 'cause now's the time to use them! Knock those puffballs silly! They'll be a piece of cake! *stares angrily at Smorgs, then turns to X-Naut* Oh yeah…I almost forgot something myself. You can press Y to change the order that you and your Yux attack in! Don't be afraid to make your slave take the beatings for you! *turns back to Smorgs*

YUXETTE: Yux… (Why you…)

X-Naut used Slam! Action Command failed! Smorg lost 1 HP!

Yuxette used Laser Ring! Action Command failed! Smorg lost 1 HP! Smorg fainted!

Smorg used Bounce on X-Naut! X-Naut lost 1 HP!

Smorg used Bounce on X-Naut! NICE Guard! No damage.

X-Naut used Slam! NICE! Smorg lost 2 HP! Smorg fainted!

Yuxette used Laser Ring! NICE! Smorg lost 2 HP! Smorg fainted!

CHIEF: Wow! You beat them! Of course, I knew WE could. And you got Star Points! Oh, Star Points are these things you get after winning battles. If you get 100 of them, you'll go up a level. Understand?

X-Naut gains 3 Star Points from each defeated Smorg, making a total of 9.

 _BATTLE MODE END!_

 **Author's Note (2005):** Star Points aren't easy to keep track of, so I'm excluding them from the story. Besides, it doesn't really matter what level X-Naut is.

* * *

 **Part 3: Quiz Time**

After the battle, the Smorgs hop in front of the door, causing it to open automatically, and they bounce out of the room.

CHIEF: Phew. Well, that wasn't so tough! But now… *turns to X-Naut* X-Naut! See that metal statue there?

X-NAUT: *turns and looks at metallic Thwomp bust*

CHIEF: It's actually a robot, and it has something you will probably need. But you need to prove that you've recovered your memory if you're going to obtain it! Go and check out the statue to begin your test. Go, now!

X-Naut and Yuxette walk to the Thwomp statue and check it. Suddenly, the room vibrates, causing X-Naut to stagger.

X-NAUT: **?**

THWOMP: *eyes light up yellow* Bah! Another X-Naut, huh? If you're here, you must want to take the test and receive the item, right? I thought so. I've only done this knowledge-certification test 63 times! Well, here's the drill: You beat me, and you pass. Whoopee. But if you lose… Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha! Your fate will be TERRIBE! So, you ready?

X-NAUT: Sure, I guess.

THWOMP: *spins around* Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha! You're MINE now!

The background suddenly falls apart in puzzle pieces, revealing a new background, which is basically a wall full of colorful lights. The Thwomp is wearing a polka-dot bow tie and has a microphone stand pointing at him. X-Naut and Yuxette are standing behind a quiz counter.

THWOMP: And here we gooooo, folks! Here comes the 64th Super Fun Quirk Quiz! If you correctly answer 5 of my following questions, then you win! But if you get 3 of 'em wrong, I can't trust you'll be as happy with the results. Well, what're we waiting for, huh? Let's get this done and over with! Question Number One: What are the soldiers of this place called?

The Choices:  
*Koopa Troopas  
*X-Nauts  
*Toads  
*Goombas

X-NAUT: X-Nauts.

THWOMP: Is that your answer? Are you suuuuuuuuure?

X-NAUT: Yes.

The lights in the background light up in a circle. A ringing sound is heard as some confetti falls from the ceiling.

THWOMP: *spins around and eyes turn blue* AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH! That's…correct! That question was too easy, but it's only going to get harder from here on out! …So prepare yourself! *eyes flash yellow again* Now, Question Number Two! Who is the leader of all X-Nauts?

*Sir Grodus  
*King Bowser  
*Lord Crump  
*Princess Peach

X-NAUT: Sir Grodus.

THWOMP: You suuuuuuuuure about that?

X-NAUT: Yes.

The lights blink in a circle again, indicating a correct answer.

THWOMP: *spins around and flashes eyes blue again* YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! You're correct! Crud! But that was an easy one… You won't do so well on the next one, I GUARANTEE that! *eyes revert to yellow* Now, Question Three! What is the name of this place?

*Science Base  
*Dome Lab  
*X-Naut Fortress  
*Factory of X

X-NAUT: The X-Naut Fortress.

Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding! Lights flash in another circle as more confetti falls.

THWOMP: *spins around, eyes flash blue* AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH! Also correct! You think you're so clever, don't you?! Don't get cocky yet… Two more questions coming up, with extra punch! Here we go, sucker! *eyes turn back to yellow* We're on to Question Four! Which one of these names is NOT one of the four X-Nauts that first greeted you?

*Rupert  
*Andrew  
*Johnson  
*Simon

X-NAUT: Andrew.

Lights flash, confetti falls, and ringers ring!

THWOMP: *spins around and eyes light up blue once more* GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! You're correct, you jerk! You've already gotten FOUR correct? You're KIDDING me! Well, fine! I'm gonna toss an extra-hard one your way! You happy now, sucker? *eyes go back to yellow* And now, Question Five! Answer this! What is YOUR name?

*David  
*Eracle  
*Jimmy  
*X-Naut

X-NAUT: …Uh…Eracle?

THWOMP: Are you absolutely suuuuuuuuure about that?

X-NAUT: …No.

THWOMP: Then choose again!

X-NAUT: …Um…X-Naut.

Dingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingding! The lights flash again, confetti rains down, and the ringer rings longer than the previous times.

THWOMP: *eyes turn blue and spins around again* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Cuh-Correct! That's five correct answers! Crud! You win!

 **Author's Note (2005):** "That was just the list of correct answers. If X-Naut gets three answers wrong, five Smorgs will fall from the ceiling and X-Naut and Yuxette will have to battle them."

The original background flies back in puzzle pieces. Everyone is back in the metal circuitry room.

THWOMP: GRRRRRRRRR! Anger…so angry… I've lost! I've LOOOOOOOOOST! ...For now… As much as I'd like to keep this item away from you, I'm afraid you've earned it.

What appears to be a laptop computer falls from the ceiling and lands in front of the Thwomp.

THWOMP: *spins around again* PBBBTHBTH! *eyes turn off*

X-NAUT: … *stands there in droopy, disbelieving demeanor*

YUXETTE: Yux? (What's wrong, X-Naut?)

X-NAUT: …My real name is X-Naut? *slowly corrects posture and walks to item*

X-Naut obtained the Database! Suddenly, the background changes once again, this time into polka-dotted wallpaper. An X-Naut with a white uniform and long, floppy ears walks onto the scene.

X-NAUT WHITE: Hello. My name is X-Naut White. It appears you have just obtained the Database. Congratulations. I am here to teach you how to use it. The Database has many functions, but as of now, only one is of use to you. That function is the Tattle Log, which allows you to access information on nearby people, places, and objects. In the field, when there's no one around, press Y to view info about your location. Try it once.

X-NAUT: *takes out laptop and looks at screen* This is the quiz room. X-Nauts use this room to test themselves on their knowledge. That Thwomp bust is the host. If you ask me, it's a bit risky, with the so-called terrible fate if you lose.

WHITE: Very good.

CHIEF: *walks up to X-Naut*

WHITE: If you press Y when there's someone nearby, you can look up info about him or her. Try using the Tattle Log now.

X-NAUT: *turns to chief and takes out laptop* That's my instructor, the chief. He's REALLY bossy and hard on his subordinates. It's probably not my place to speak against him, but would it hurt him to be a little nicer?

WHITE: Very good, X-Naut.

CHIEF: *walks away*

X-NAUT: *turns back to X-Naut White*

WHITE: Would you like to go over that again?

X-NAUT: No, I've got it.

WHITE: Excellent. You can also use the Tattle Log in battle, too. You can look up an enemy's HP and weaknesses. Of course, there are many other uses of the Database that you will discover in time. To access the Database, simply press START/PAUSE and view the menu labeled "Database". I believe that is all, so I'll leave the rest to you. *disappears*

The polka-dotted background vanishes and X-Naut finds himself back in the same cold, steel room.

CHIEF: *walks forward* All right, you got the item, big deal. Now let's hurry up and chase those Smorgs! And also, if you see any, you can attack them in the field to execute a First Strike! A First Strike lets you get in a quick attack as you start the battle! *runs off*

X-NAUT: …X-Naut…

YUXETTE: Yux. (It'll be OK, X-Naut.)

X-Naut sighs and walks out of the room with Yuxette to join the chief.

 **Author's Note (2005):** Indeed. Speaking of the Thwomp, here's a little excerpt that describes what happens when you lose. I'll include the extra two questions while I'm at it.

THWOMP: And now, Question Five! Answer this! What is YOUR name?

X-NAUT: Exor! ( **Author's Note (2005):** Heehee! Uh...basically, just any answer other than X-Naut.) **Author's Note (2017):** "Exor" was meant as an inside joke back on NSider.

The lights in the background form an X and a buzzer sounds, indicating an incorrect answer.

THWOMP: *eyes turn red and laughs* Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha! WRONG! Wrong wrong wrong! You call that an answer? Remember: Get three answers wrong, and you'll suffer like you wouldn't believe! Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha! What's the matter? Getting a little stage fright? *eyes go back to yellow* On to question six! Tell me, where have all the X-Nauts gone?

*Keelhaul Key  
*Boggly Woods  
*X-Naut Fortress  
*Rogueport

 **Author's Note (2005):** The correct answer is, of course, Rogueport. But if X-Naut gets it wrong...

Bzzbzzzzzz! The buzzer sounds again and the lights display the X again.

THWOMP: *laughs as eyes turn red again* Thickhead! You're WROOOOOONG again! Get one more-hear me? ONE MORE wrong and you'll have yourself a trip to a cruel and unusual punishment! Don't let the pressure get to you! Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha! *eyes revert to yellow* Now for the last question! What number question is this?

*Question Nine  
*Question Eight  
*Question Seven  
*Super Question 64

X-NAUT: *chooses any answer except Question Seven, which is the right one*

THWOMP: Are you absolutely suuuuuuuuure about that?

X-NAUT: Yes!

Bzzbzzzzbzzbzzzzbzzbzzzzzzz! The X appears again and the buzzer sounds off longer than usual.

THWOMP: *eyes turn red and laughs once more* MMMM HMMMM HOO HA HA! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! COULDN'T BE MORE WRONG! That's three WRONGS! You FAIL! YOU FAAAAAIIIIIL! *turns around once*

The original background flies back in puzzle pieces. Everyone is back in the metal circuitry room.

THWOMP: MMMM HMMMM HOO HA HA! Congratulations, loser! You get a cookie! The cookie of DOOM!

Five Smorgs fall from the ceiling.

THWOMP: Well, would you look at that? Seems like some of those creatures hung around! Here's a deal: Beat all of them, and I'll give you the item anyway... But what are the chances? Give it your best shot, dumbo! MMMM HMMM HOO HA HA!

The Smorgs bounce toward X-Naut and Yuxette and begin a battle.

X-NAUT & YUXETTE: *beat them*

THWOMP: Wh-WHAT?! You beat them? But HOW?! It's not possible! AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH! Fine! Take the stupid item! See if I care!

The Database falls from the ceiling.

THWOMP: *spins around again* PBBBTHBTH! *eyes turn off*

* * *

 **Part 4: Specialty**

In the hallway, X-Naut, Yuxette, and the chief spot a single Smorg bouncing around. X-Naut uses the chief's advice and jumps on the Smorg to get a First Strike. X-Naut now has another option in his list of Action Commands, the Tattle Log. After reading up on the Smorg and defeating it, the trio takes the elevator up to Level 1. Unlike the other hallways, this one has windows that look out into the vast sky of a starry night. There's another Smorg in the hallway that is easily taken care of. X-Naut uses Yuxette's laser rings to destroy some small boxes sitting on either side of the elevator door, finding a Mushroom and a Fire Flower.

After that, they enter a door that leads to the lobby of the fortress, which is considerably larger than any other room X-Naut has been in. There's nothing except a wide expanse of steel flooring, with the exception of a mob of Smorgs jumping near the entrance doors. Two Smorgs are separated, which attack X-Naut. After the battles, the entrance doors open and the Smorgs hop outside.

CHIEF: They're heading outside! Let's not let them get away!

Suddenly, a strange light surrounds X-Naut and dies away. A small circle of sparkles flies up his body and disappears. Now, pieces of X-Naut's memory are beginning to reform! X-Naut re-learned the special move First-Aid!

CHIEF: *looking at X-Naut* Huh? What was that all about? What were those lights?

X-NAUT: *looking at himself* …I don't know… It feels like I just remembered something…

YUXETTE: Yux? Yux? (Really? What did you remember?)

X-NAUT: …I think I just recalled something called a special move...

CHIEF: *jumps in surprise* What!? A special move?! What makes you so special? … OK, just in case you DID learn a special move, I suppose it would be wise to teach you about them. Are you up for another practice session?

X-NAUT: Sure, I guess.

 _BATTLE MODE ENTERED!_

X-Naut and Yuxette appear on one side of the wooden stage; the chief stands on the opposite end. This time, there is actually an audience sitting in a few of the chairs, watching the fight. They're all X-Nauts, and there's not many of them.

CHIEF: First of all, you need to take a close look at your Star Power gauge.

There's a gauge marked by a star. All that's inside the gauge is a single filled-in circle.

CHIEF: You see that one little dot? That's a single unit of Star Power. So you've got one full unit right now, understand? I hope I haven't lost you yet. Now listen! You can only use special moves when you've got Star Power at hand! So, try using your special move now, whatever it's called. It will restore any lost HP and FP.

X-NAUT: *selects the special move First-Aid*

[Use the Control Stick to move X-Naut and catch falling hearts and flowers!]

X-NAUT: *moves left and right along stage as he tries to catch falling hearts and flowers*

X-Naut regained 2 HP! Yuxette regained 4 HP! X-Naut regained 5 FP!

CHIEF: That special move cost you one power dot, so now your Star Power gauge is empty. See?

The circle in the gauge is now non-filled.

CHIEF: But not to worry! It's easy to fill it up again…if you know how! This is where the audience comes in! See them? Look at the pack of freeloaders!

The audience boos at the chief.

CHIEF: What? Bunch of hypocrites… Listen, X-Naut! If you put on a good show, the viewers will provide you with Star Power! Let's see how your performance is judged! X-Naut! Yux-thing! Attack me!

Yuxette used Laser Ring! NICE! Chief lost 2 HP!

The audience cheers and fills the Star Power gauge a bit.

CHIEF: Hey, not that rough! Be gentle to your superior! Err… What I mean is, since you pleased your audience…losers…they filled some of your gauge.

X-Naut used Slam! Action Command failed! Chief lost 1 HP!

The audience boos.

CHIEF: Ha! You won't get much publicity if you keep that up! If you want to be truly successful, you've got to execute your Action Commands! Come on, now!

Yuxette used Laser Ring! NICE! Chief -2 HP!

The audience cheers and gives more Star Power. More members enter the theater and take a seat.

CHIEF: Aaah! Not the face! I mean, yeah, that's good. Keep building up that Star Power! Also, if the battle gets more exciting, more people will come and watch! You can see that in the number of audience members.

The current number of members is 16.

X-Naut used Slam! NICE! Chief -2 HP! The audience cheers some more and continues filling up the power dot.

CHIEF: X-Naut! Now's a big moment for you! …Maybe.

Two icons are in a corner of the theater. They both reflect Shine Sprites.

CHIEF: If you nail an Action Command when there are two matching icons, icon wheels will appear. Take it for a spin!

The two Shine Sprite icons appear center-stage, enlarged. A third icon appears beside them and starts cycling rapidly through a series of items. It eventually stops on a Shine Sprite.

BINGO! X-Naut's HP, FP, and Star Power have all been refilled!

New audience members pour into the theater, jumping and cheering. The place has reached its capacity of 50 members.

CHIEF: Unbelievable! You matched three icons! Getting a bingo means dazzling results, which is good for show business. Now the house is packed! Also, depending on the icons you match up, you'll get a boost in HP, FP, or Star Power. But you had better watch out for the Poison Mushrooms. If get three of them…well, you'll know when you get some. One other thing: The bigger audience you have, the more Star Power you'll receive. You can also use the Appeal command to stir up a cheer for you. I hope you got all this, 'cause I'm not repeating it!

One of the X-Nauts in the audience grabs a rock.

CHIEF: Hm? What's that guy doing? Oh… Heh heh… He's about to toss a rock at you! If you get hit with anything from the audience, you'll wind up with a bruise. If you press X, you can stop him, but I'd rather see you get hit…

YUXETTE: *shoots laser ring at X-Naut with the rock*

The X-Naut with the rock gets hit. He gives a girly scream and runs out of the theater.

CHIEF: Oh, darn it. You sent him packing. But yeah, pressing X will protect you from the objects people throw at you. But sometimes a member will try to toss you something good, so don't attack him unless you're feeling mean! Well, that's all I have to share with you. Keep in mind that just because you can do special moves doesn't mean I'll start respecting you!

 _BATTLE MODE END!_

 **Author's Note (2005):** Features such as the Star Power gauge, number of audience members, and kicking out the bad eggs are not at all significant to the story, so they probably won't be mentioned anymore.

* * *

 **Part 5: Smorgasbord**

CHIEF: All right, we've covered that subject, so now let's get rid of those Smorgs!

X-Naut goes to the nearby Save Block and Heart Block in the room and hits both of them. The Save Block saves his progress, and the Heart Block refills his HP and FP completely in exchange for a certain amount of coins. In this case, it's 5. **Author's Note (2005):** "X-Naut only starts out with 10 coins—yep, pretty low—and earns more by defeating enemies, so using Heart Blocks can be quite costly, pardon the pun. Also, the Save and Heart Blocks aren't very important in the telling of this story, so I probably won't include them again."

X-Naut, Yuxette, and the chief all head out of the entrance of the lobby. They head down a glass-contained slope that is lined with a pair of conveyor belts. One travels one way, and the other, the opposite. The trio uses the belts as escalators, and they take the down-belt to the real entrance of the fortress. Upon exiting, the three find themselves in the background of a yellowish landscape, filled with stones and craters. The starry sky seems unusually close to them, and the gravity is extremely low.

X-NAUT: Huh? Are we on…the moon?

CHIEF: *turns to X-Naut* Of course! Didn't you know that? Oh wait…you forgot. *turns and looks off in the distance* But look! The Smorgs have clustered over there!

In the middle ground, between three craters, the Smorgs have all gathered and are bouncing quite high, thanks to the reduced gravity.

CHIEF: Now's our chance! We'll knock them out and capture them! *turns to X-Naut* Let's go, X-Naut! Jump onto that pipe and push the Control Stick Down to travel through it!

X-Naut hops onto the pipe in the background and twirls through it, with Yuxette and the chief right behind him. They emerge through another pipe opening in the middle ground, a few feet away from the Smorgs. As the trio approaches the cloudy critters, they suddenly stop bouncing and stare at their pursuers.

SMORG: SMOO-OOORG!

The Smorgs suddenly cluster together, combining into a slightly larger form. It sprouts two tentacles made up of chains of the creatures. Some pink Smorgs make up the main body.

YUXETTE: Yux! Yux! (Wowzers! They combined!)

CHIEF: Umm… It's your job, X-Naut. Lay the smack on them! *turns and runs away*

YUXETTE: *looks at Chief* Yux? Yux! (What? Coward!)

X-NAUT: *looks at Chief* What? Hey! Come back!

SMORG: SMOOO-OOOORG!

 _BATTLE MODE ENTERED!_

[Can't flee this fight!]

X-NAUT: *uses Tattle Log* That's a Smorg Miasma. It's a monster made up of lots of little Smorgs. Its maximum HP is 12, its attack is 1, and its defense is 0. The only way to take it out is to attack its main body, the pink Smorgs. But the main body has a defense of 5, which basically means we can't damage it. If we take out its two tentacles, however, the body's defense will drop to 0. Once that happens, we'd better attack it quickly, or else the tentacles will regenerate! By the way, each tentacle has a max HP of 3.

Yuxette used Laser Ring on Left Tentacle! NICE! Left Tentacle -2 HP!

Left Tentacle used Slap on Yuxette! Yuxette -1 HP!

Right Tentacle used Slap on X-Naut! X-Naut -1 HP!

X-Naut used Tackle Slam on Left Tentacle! Miss! The tentacle is above the ground, so the Tackle Slam won't reach!

Yuxette used Duplicate! -1 FP! A Mini-Yux was created! The Mini-Yux generated a shield around Yuxette!

Left Tentacle used Slap on X-Naut! X-Naut -1 HP!

Right Tentacle used Slap on Yuxette! The Mini-Yux took the attack! Mini-Yux fainted!

X-Naut used Jump Slam on Left Tentacle! NICE! Left Tentacle -2 HP! The tentacle Smorgs withdrew!

Yuxette used Laser Ring on Right Tentacle! NICE! Right Tentacle -2 HP!

Right Tentacle used Slap on Yuxette! NICE Guard! No damage.

X-Naut used Jump Slam on Right Tentacle! NICE! Right Tentacle -2 HP! The tentacle Smorgs withdrew! The main body is exposed!

Yuxette used Laser Ring on Smorg Miasma! NICE! Smorg Miasma -2 HP!

The Smorg Miasma is biding its time to regenerate its tentacles, so it can't attack!

X-Naut used First-Aid! X-Naut +2 HP! Yuxette +1 HP! X-Naut +1 FP!

Yuxette used Laser Ring on Smorg Miasma! NICE! Smorg Miasma -2 HP!

Smorg Miasma regenerated its tentacles! Left Tentacle used Slap on X-Naut! NICE Guard! No damage.

Right Tentacle used Slap on Yuxette! NICE Guard! No damage.

X-Naut used a Fire Flower! The Fire Flower spews embers over all targets! Left Tentacle -3 HP! Smorg Miasma took no damage. Right Tentacle -3 HP! Both tentacles withdrew! The main body is exposed!

Yuxette used Laser Ring on Smorg Miasma! NICE! Smorg Miasma -2 HP! Just 6 HP remaining!

The Miasma is biding its time to regenerate its tentacles!

X-Naut used Tackle Slam on Miasma! NICE! Miasma -2 HP!

Yuxette used Laser Ring on Miasma! NICE! Miasma -2 HP!

Miasma regenerated its tentacles! Left Tentacle used Slap on Yuxette! GREAT Superguard! Tentacle -1 HP!

Right Tentacle used Slap on X-Naut! GREAT Superguard! Tentacle -1 HP!

X-Naut used Jump Slam on Right Tentacle! NICE! Right Tentacle -2 HP! The tentacle Smorgs withdrew!

Yuxette used Laser Ring on Left Tentacle! NICE! Left Tentacle -2 HP! The tentacle Smorgs withdrew! The main body is exposed again!

The Miasma can't attack yet!

X-Naut used Tackle Slam on Miasma! NICE! Miasma -2 HP! Smorg Miasma is defeated!

 _BATTLE MODE END!_

SMORG: SMORGSMORGSMOOoOoOoooo… *disappears*

CHIEF: *walks up to X-Naut* Heh heh! Well, we sure showed them, didn't we? Of course, I was one-hundred percent behind you!

X-NAUT & YUXETTE: …

CHIEF: Well, that'll teach Beldam not to store her Smorgs in our rooms, eh? 'Cause if she does, she'll have ME to answer to! Heh heh…

VOICE: Oh, really? So it was YOU who defeated my Smorgs?

EVERYONE: **?** *looks around*

Three shadows appear on the ground, and three ghostly girls emerge out of them. Each one of them is completely purple except for their hair, hats and white gloves. They have no feet, but a tail-like stem leading from the bottom of their stomachs to the ground, suspending them in midair. None of their eyes are visible; obscured by their hair or hats. The smallest and oldest one, Beldam, has a pointy blue-and-white-striped hat, a pointy nose, and white hair that falls behind her. The largest and middle-aged one, Marilyn, has a droopy yellow-and-white-striped hat, some flat blonde hair, and an enormous belly. The medium-sized and youngest one, Vivian, wears a curved magenta-and-white-striped hat and has curly pink hair. The trio of shadows faces the trio of X's.

CHIEF: What the? Oh, Beldam! What a pleasant surprise.

X-NAUT: Who are they?

BELDAM: Mmmwee hee hee hee hee! We are…

MARILYN: The three…

VIVIAN: Shadow Sirens!

BELDAM: Perfect, my lovelies! Now, Mr. Chief, is it true that you defeated my Smorgs? I believe the deal was that you would release them from that room and bring them back to me! Not destroy them!

CHIEF: Oh, well…ummm… It might have slipped my mind…

BELDAM: You twit! There's no reason I shouldn't report your misconduct to Sir Grodus, so…

CHIEF: Hey, wait! It wasn't me! It was those two! *points to X-Naut and Yuxette* They defeated that monster!

BELDAM: Monster?! Oh, you're in for it now, Chiefy! *turns to Marilyn and Vivian* Let's away, my lovelies! To Sir Grodus's room! *withdraws into ground*

MARILYN: Guhhhhh… *vanishes too*

VIVIAN: Mmm hm hm hm hm… *also disappears*

CHIEF: ARRRGH! *turns to X-Naut and Yuxette* Quickly, X-Naut and Yux-whatever-its-name-is… We have to get to Sir Grodus's room before they do! *runs off*

YUXETTE: Yux… (What a loser…) *floats after chief*

X-NAUT: OK, if you say so… *runs after chief*

* * *

 **Part 6: Aftermath**

The three soon arrive in a room that is quite spacious, even more so than the lobby. The X-Naut logo is imprinted upon the vast, stainless steel floor. Four pillars that support glowing violet orbs are placed around some steps that lead up to a mechanical, computerized throne. A pale rug leads down from the throne and ends as soon as the steps touch the floor, which happens to be where the Shadow Sirens are.

Even more intimidating than them is the huge, royally-garmented X-Naut standing in front of the throne. He has a black and purple cape that curls around his body and covers his arms, clothing him completely. He has wears an X emblem in front and he wields a golden scepter with a computerized orb at the end. Most noticeable about him, however, is his oversized cranium covered with glass, revealing the immense technology within.

?: Ah, Elite X-Naut. You're just in time to hear Beldam's explanation.

CHIEF: Nuts! We're too late!

X-NAUT: Is that Sir Grodus?

YUXETTE: Yux… (Looks like it…)

BELDAM: So as you can see, honorable Grodus, that that X-Naut, the chief…is rather irresponsible with upholding his end of the bargain.

SIR GRODUS: Hmmm… I see. But was it really the Elite X-Naut that defeated your Smorgs?

BELDAM: He claimed that it was that X-Naut and Yux who defeated them, but I think that's utterly ridiculous! Who's ever heard of-

GRODUS: Really? That X-Naut over there? How interesting…

BELDAM: ...So, what punishment will you be dealing to them?

GRODUS: I will not punish the X-Naut and his Yux. However, I am putting you, Elite X-Naut, on probation.

CHIEF: *jumps* WHAAAT?!

BELDAM: Mmmmwee hee hee hee hee! Yes, a suitable punishment indeed.

GRODUS: Not so fast, Beldam. Weren't you the one who placed the Smorgs in that room in the first place?

BELDAM: Not me, sire, but rather my little sister, Vivian.

VIVIAN: *is shocked* What?! Me?!

BELDAM: *turns to Vivian* Yes you, Vivian! You misplace everything!

VIVIAN: But I didn't! You put those Smorgs there! I saw you!

BELDAM: Quiet, you lying little twerp!

GRODUS: You should all be quiet! Shadow Sirens, leave my room immediately!

BELDAM: *looking at Grodus* …Yes, sire.

The Shadow Sirens all disappear into the shadows.

CHIEF: Heh heh! Take THAT, Beldam!

GRODUS: Now, as for you three… I want you to go back to your locker rooms and get some good rest for tomorrow. And Elite X-Naut, enjoy your probation.

CHIEF: …Uh, ahem! Yes, sir. *folds arms in X shape, turns around and walks away*

X-NAUT: *looks from chief to Grodus and back*

CHIEF: *turns back to X-Naut* Don't just stand there! Salute! Pay the proper respect to Sir Grodus!

X-NAUT: Oh, um…right. Salute. *turns to Grodus and crosses arms*

GRODUS: Enough of that. Get going, all of you.

The three leave the room quietly and enter the hallway of the 2nd sublevel. Lots of other X-Nauts have returned from their trip to Rogueport, and are now walking around and entering rooms to sleep in.

CHIEF: *looks around and turns to X-Naut and Yuxette* I hope you two are happy. You got me into a heap of trouble, and now I'm on probation! But I'm still your chief, and I have ways of getting back at my miserable excuses for minions… *walks off*

X-NAUT: *turns to Yuxette* Well, what a day, huh, Yuxette?

YUXETTE: Yux… (Yeah…)

X-NAUT: I don't remember much before today, and it seems like people are turning on me here and there. But you… I can count on you to stick by me, right Yuxette?

YUXETTE: *bounces* Yux! Yux! (Of course, silly! I wouldn't have it any other way!)

X-NAUT: *nods* Thank you.

They enter the door to the locker room, and the door closes behind them.

* * *

 **Author's Note (2017):** Uuuugh, I can do so much better nowadays... Well, if you made it this far, you must have enjoyed the read. Thanks. There will be three more chapters following this one, and each one will be just as long, if not longer.


	2. Chapter 1: An Investigator's Tale

**Prelude**

X-Naut and Yuxette are spending time in the lobby of the fortress. X-Naut is tossing discs across the room and Yuxette is firing laser rings at them.

X-NAUT: OK, Yuxette, now try to shoot this one! *throws disc into air*

YUXETTE: Yux! (Got it!) *fires laser ring*

The ring hits its target, and the saucer shatters into pieces.

X-NAUT: Wow, nice shot, Yuxette! You're getting really good!

YUXETTE: *bounces* Yux! Yux! (Yay! I'm improving!)

Then the chief enters the room.

CHIEF: Hey! What are you two goofing off for?

X-NAUT: What? Chief? Why are you here?

CHIEF: I came here to tell you that Sir Grodus wants to see you.

X-NAUT: Really? Sir Grodus wants to see…me? Why?

CHIEF: I was wondering that myself. Now get to it!

X-NAUT: OK, then. *turns to Yuxette* Wait here for me, OK, Yuxette?

YUXETTE: Yux. (OK.)

X-Naut walks out the door of the lobby and down the hallway. Other X-Nauts lingering in the hallway discuss the events of the day at Rogueport. One X-Naut directs X-Naut (the main character, that is) to the sublevel that contains Sir Grodus's room. X-Naut goes to the 2nd sublevel and reaches his destination. When he enters the room, he sees Grodus on his throne and another X-Naut standing nearby. It turns out to be none other than X-Naut White.

X-NAUT: Umm… Sir Grodus? Did you call for me?

GRODUS: Ah, yes. You. Now, you are the same X-Naut who defeated those Smorgs yesterday, correct?

X-NAUT: Umm…yes…?

GRODUS: I see. Now, young X-Naut, I can tell that you have great promise inside of you. So I've decided to give you a special mission.

X-NAUT: **?**

GRODUS: Yes, indeed I have. Now, you do know of the Crystal Star we have been researching in Hooktail Castle, do you not?

X-NAUT: …No, not really… Wait, a Crystal Star…?

GRODUS: Of course you know of it. Your special mission is…I want you to go to the Petal Meadows near the castle and find out as much of this Crystal Star as you possibly can.

X-NAUT: Well, umm…OK, I guess. Do I have to get the Crystal Star?

GRODUS: No. You merely have to obtain information about it. But if you do find a way to infiltrate the castle and claim the Crystal Star, then inform me immediately. X-Naut White, you may give him his supplies now.

X-Naut White walks toward X-Naut and hands him a computer disc. X-Naut obtained the map! This fits into X-Naut's Database and provides him with a map of the region. White also gives X-Naut a peculiar handheld device. X-Naut obtained the Mailbox DS! This not only allows X-Naut to send and receive wireless e-mail, but it also allows him to communicate with someone face-to-face via the top screen, but only if that someone has another Mailbox DS.

GRODUS: Use that Mailbox DS to communicate with me. My computer will produce a projection of you, so make sure you use the visual chat feature. Oh, and I'm sure you've already met, but this is X-Naut White. He'll watch over you on missions such as this, so don't be afraid to consult him for help. You may also receive items or e-mail from him. Do you understand all this?

X-NAUT: Yes, Sir Grodus.

GRODUS: Then you may go! Your mission starts now!

X-NAUT: *turns and walks toward door, but stops and turns around* Ummm… Two questions, Sir Grodus.

GRODUS: Yes, what is it?

X-NAUT: First one: Where's Petal Meadows?

GRODUS: What?! You don't know? Sigh… I suppose it would be fine if X-Naut White was to escort you there, correct, X-Naut White?

WHITE: Yes, Sir Grodus. I will escort him.

X-NAUT: …OK, and the second one: Can I take Yuxette with me?

GRODUS: What? Yuxette? Who? Oh, that Yux who hangs out with you… Fine, whatever.

X-NAUT: Thank you, sir.

The two X-Nauts salute in the cross-armed position, turn around, and head out the door. They reappear in the lobby, where the chief and Yuxette are waiting.

CHIEF: So? What happened?

X-NAUT: *walks over to Yuxette and turns to chief* Nothing much… Sir Grodus just gave me my own mission.

CHIEF: *jumps* What?! He did?! Now why would Sir Grodus do something like that?

X-NAUT: I don't know. *turns to Yuxette* C'mon, Yuxette. We're going to Petal Meadows!

YUXETTE: Yux! (Yayness!)

X-Naut and Yuxette start walking towards X-Naut White, but then the chief speaks again.

CHIEF: Ahem! Wait just a moment, you!

X-NAUT & YUXETTE: *turn around to face chief*

CHIEF: *walks up to X-Naut* Umm… Before you go, I should give this to you. *gives a badge to X-Naut*

X-Naut got Power Slam! [Enables Power Slam, which lets X-Naut slam an enemy with great power. Wearing two or more increases attack power.]

CHIEF: This is what's called a badge. If you wear a lot of them, you can do better in battle. So, do you need to learn how to equip and remove badges?

X-NAUT: Yes.

The chief explains to X-Naut about badges. **Author's Note (2017):** I guess I wasn't bothering with the long tutorials anymore.

X-NAUT: Hmm… I see. But why are you giving this to me, Chief?

CHIEF: Because you'll probably need it! And also, I'm on probation, so I need to make a good impression.

X-NAUT: Oh…

WHITE: Ahem! Pardon the interruption, but X-Naut, you have a mission to get to. So please, follow me.

X-Naut and Yuxette follow X-Naut White out the door, heading for their first real adventure.

 **C** **H** **A** **P** **T** **E** **R** **1**  
 **AN INVESTIGATOR'S TALE**

 **Part 1: Petal Meadows**

X-Naut, Yuxette, and X-Naut White pop out of a pipe that emerges from a patch of grass. They leap off the pipe and take a look at the immense fields of green grass and yellow flowers. Right near them, some trees stand behind some brown fence posts.

X-NAUT: So this is Petal Meadows… It's so pretty…and peaceful…and nice-smelling…unlike the X-Naut Fortress.

YUXETTE: Yux… (So true…)

WHITE: Yeah… Ahem! But let's not get sidetracked! You must investigate Petal Meadows and see if you can find out anything about the Crystal Star. And remember: as soon as you learn anything, contact Sir Grodus via your Mailbox DS.

X-Naut and Yuxette hop down some ledges where they come to a bunch of stones. A couple of the stones have weirdly-shaped holes in them. Off in the background is a big castle.

X-NAUT & YUXETTE: *spot the castle* **!**

X-NAUT: Look, Yuxette! That castle… It must be Hooktail Castle!

YUXETTE: Yux! Yux! (Yeah! I bet you're right!)

X-NAUT: Yes… But how do we get over there? I don't see any way across.

YUXETTE: …Yux? (…How about those stones?)

X-NAUT: *turns to Yuxette* Really? *turns to stones* You think these stones might have something to do with it? *looks around stones* Um, OK, but it doesn't look like we can do anything with them right now. *walks back to Yuxette* Let's just search more around Petal Meadows and see what we can find out.

YUXETTE: Yux! (All righty!)

They follow a light dirt path beyond the stones, trotting in between the yellow fields of flowers. Along the way they battle Goombas, Spiky Goombas, and Paragoombas. The enemies are pretty weak, so X-Naut and Yuxette triumph with ease. They come to softly flowing river with no visible way across. X-Naut parts some nearby bushes to find another green pipe. When he goes through, he emerges through the other end in a point in the background. He walks across the faraway hills until he reaches a switch and activates it. Paper pages start flipping above the river, cycling through a bridge construction. When the bridge is complete, X-Naut returns to the middle ground and crosses with Yuxette.

They soon find themselves in a small, peaceful town. Yellow-brick houses lie along some upper ledges, while townsfolk walk to and fro on the lower ground. One such citizen, a Koopa, walks up and greets X-Naut and Yuxette.

KOOPA: Welcome, travelers! Welcome to Petalburg! We sure have been getting more of you lately… Ever since that dragon Hooktail was spotted here, we've had almost no visitors… But now, people seem to be coming through more rapidly. I'm telling you, folks, Hooktail is no attraction! Even though that should be obvious…

X-NAUT: So Hooktail's a dragon? Cool… And Hooktail Castle sounds like the perfect place for it to coop up. So, umm, Mr. Koopa…do you know anything about a Crystal Star?

KOOPA: Crystal Star, you say? Funny you should mention that. A mustachioed man and a Goomba girl came through here earlier asking about the same thing.

X-NAUT & YUXETTE: **?**

KOOPA: And I'll tell you the same thing I told them: I don't know about any Crystal Star, but I bet the mayor does. He's really old, so he knows all kinds of things we don't. Koopas of his age are…really smart. He lives in the pink house just up ahead.

X-NAUT: A pink house? Weird…but it shouldn't be too hard to find. So…thanks for your help!

X-Naut and Yuxette explore the town, crossing a small bridge over a river that divides the area into thirds, forking midway. The duo takes a rest at the inn, goes shopping, and finds a Koopa Paratroopa flying right outside the rightmost house. He wears an orange shell, blue shoes, and some electric-blue glasses

PARATROOPA: Yo, what's up? Say, you dudes are mighty strange-looking, at least for this town. You must not be from around here, right?

X-NAUT: Um, yeah, we're not.

PARATROOPA: Didn't think so. It must feel awesome to travel the world, see the sights, and have adventures… Am I right, man?

X-NAUT: Uh…

PARATROOPA: Yeah, it's cool.

X-NAUT: …

YUXETTE: Yux! (Ask him about the Crystal Star!)

X-NAUT: …Oh, right, um… Hey, would you happen to know anything about a Crystal Star?

PARATROOPA: Huh? Now where did a question like that come from? Oh, I get it! You dudes like adventuring to the extreme, right? Sweeeeet. Anyway, sure I know some stuff about the legend…

A Koopa girl with a blonde ponytail, purple shell and white boots walks past them.

PARATROOPA: *watches her go* Hey, check out that cute chick! Total hottie, am I right? *turns to X-Naut* Sorry 'bout this, but I gotta fly. See you in a few! *turns back and flies after girl*

X-NAUT: …

YUXETTE: …Yux. (…Typical guy.)

X-Naut and Yuxette walk to the other side of Petalburg and see more houses, one of them being pink. They go inside that house and find a small, elderly Koopa with large, white eyebrows.

KROOP: Eh? Who's there? Is someone there? Ah! I know! You're thieves, eh? Come to rob an old, defenseless Koopa, have you? Despicable!

X-NAUT: *jumps back in surprise and shakes head*

KROOP: Well, away with you! I haven't anything to steal, except for a little money and my antique shell… Take them, you fiends! But just leave the photos of me and the missus. Can't do without those memories.

X-NAUT: H-hey! We're not thieves! Honestly! We just wanted to ask you about a Crystal Star!

KROOP: What's that? Not thieves, you say? Searching for the Crystal Stars, are you? Well, why didn't you pipe up before, you ijit! We're just wasting time here! Now let's see here, the Crystal Stars… Oh, of course! Hooktail! Hooktail's got what you want!

X-NAUT: Hooktail? Ummm… We kind of already figured that…

KROOP: You did? Then why did you bother coming here in the first place? I don't have anything more to tell you than that. Oh, by the way, what's your name, sonny?

X-NAUT: Uh… X-Naut.

KROOP: X-hm? What did you say your name was? Speak up!

X-NAUT: It's X-Naut!

KROOP: X-Nut? Now that's a funny name, there. Well, X-Nut…you asking me about the Crystal Stars reminded me that a man came here earlier today and asked about 'em, too. Now what was his name again? Murphy? Well anyways, I can tell you that he had a big mustache, and he was wearing a red hat and blue overalls. You know him, X-Nut?

X-NAUT: …No, I don't think so…

KROOP: You do know him? Well, no wonder then! You must be a friend of his. Well, your friend, Murphy, has already gone to Hooktail Castle to get rid of that beast Hooktail and claim the Crystal Star. A reckless fool—I mean, a brave adventurer he is!

X-NAUT: …

KROOP: So, hey, if you're a friend of his, does this mean you're going to help him rough it up with Hooktail? Mind you, he could probably use all the help he can get.

X-NAUT: Well, I don't really suppose… I mean, he's not really my friend…

KROOP: This is great news indeed! Why, if you were to help Murphy get rid of Hooktail, we'd shower you with rewards and gratitude! What's that? You'll accept no reward, you say?

X-NAUT: Ack, uh, well, um, I, whuh?

KROOP: What an unselfish person you are, X-Nut! You're noble, indeed… Yep, a good egg. Well, to get to Hooktail Castle, you must have the stone keys. The stone keys lie in Shhwonk Fortress, just a ways east of this village. So, what are you waiting for, X-Nut? Hurry and get those keys so you can catch up to Murphy!

X-NAUT: Umm…yeah, uh, we'll do that.

* * *

 **Author's Note (2005):** Now that we're settled in Petalburg, it's time for something a little different. If any of you have played Fire Emblem, you'll know what support conversations are. If not, no big deal. I've decided to make some support conversations between the main characters. As of now, it's only X-Naut and Yuxette. Here we go!

X-NAUT: …

YUXETTE: Yux! (Hi, X-Naut!)

X-NAUT: *jumps and turns to Yuxette* Wha! Oh, hi, Yuxette.

YUXETTE: Yux? (Did I startle you?)

X-NAUT: Oh, well…kinda.

YUXETTE: Yux. Yux. (Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to.)

X-NAUT: It's OK. I know you mean well.

YUXETTE: Yux! (I sure do!) Yux! Yux! (Hey, that was a compliment! Thanks!)

X-NAUT: You're welcome. …

YUXETTE: …Yux? (...So, whatcha thinking about?)

X-NAUT: It's nothing.

YUXETTE: Yux? Yux! Yux! (Nothing? I know you better than that, X-Naut! Tell me what's on your mind!)

X-NAUT: Really, Yuxette, it's nothing you need to worry about.

YUXETTE: Yux! (If it worries you, then it's my concern as well!) Yux! Yux! (We're friends, after all! Whatever happens, we take it together!)

X-NAUT: …Yeah, you're right. Gee, Yuxette… How is it that you seem so…sure of yourself?

YUXETTE: Yux? Yux! (Why shouldn't I be? As long as we're together, there's nothing we can't accomplish!)

X-NAUT: …Haha! You're just bursting with confidence, aren't you? Well, I'm glad to have you as a friend, Yuxette.

YUXETTE: Yux! (Same here!)

X-NAUT: *turns away* Well, it's about time we got back to our job. Let's get to it! *walks off*

YUXETTE: Yux! (You got it!) **!** Yux! Yux! (Wait, X-Naut! You didn't tell me what was on your mind!)

* * *

 **Part 2: Mystery Trail**

X-Naut and Yuxette leave the mayor's house and look at each other.

X-NAUT: OK, that was weird. So, just who is this Murphy guy? He sounds like he's after the Crystal Stars, but he doesn't sound like an X-Naut.

YUXETTE: Yux… (I think you're right...)

VOICE: Oh, hey! You two! You're the dudes who wanted to know about the Crystal Stars, right?

X-NAUT & YUXETTE: **?** *look at source of voice*

The orange-shelled Paratroopa flies over to them from the large house next door. The purple-shelled Koopa girl is nowhere to be seen, although there does appear to be a slap mark on the Paratroopa's cheek.

PARATROOPA: Well, sorry about the delay, dude. I had…business to take care of. Anyways, about the Crystal Stars… Well, I'm sure you've heard the legend of Rogueport, haven't you?

X-NAUT: *shakes head*

PARATROOPA: No? You really aren't from around here, are you? Well, I've heard the legend, and if you want info about the Crystal Stars, then the legend's the first thing you gotta know!

X-NAUT: …

PARATROOPA: All right then, I'll fill you in… It started, I guess, about a thousand years ago. There was this totally perfect city sitting all by itself, when all of a sudden, BOOM! A great cataclysm struck it and the city sunk below the sea. After a wicked-long time, the town of Rogueport was built above it. But the people got word that an awesome treasure lay hidden below in the ruins of that city. But the treasure was sealed behind the Thousand-Year Door. The door won't open…unless someone collects the seven Crystal Stars! Then the door will unlock! So, how's that for a legend, huh?

X-NAUT: Hmm… Interesting, but it sounds somehow…familiar. So the seven Crystal Stars will unlock the Thousand-Year Door…

PARATROOPA: That's it, dude! Oh yeah, I forgot, there's also something called the Magical Map that shows where the Crystal Stars are! But nobody's ever seen it, man.

X-NAUT: A magical map?

YUXETTE: **!** Yux! Yux… (X-Naut! That map…and that man…)

X-NAUT: *turns to Yuxette* Hey, that's right! This mustachioed man that the mayor spoke of…

YUXETTE: Yux… (If he's looking for the Crystal Stars…)

X-NAUT: Then you don't suppose…

YUXETE: Yux… (He has…)

X-NAUT: The Magical Map?

PARATROOPA: Uh…wha?

X-NAUT: That would explain it… In any case, we'd better head to Shhwonk Fortress and get those stone keys! Then we can catch up with that guy before he gets the Crystal Star! Let's go, Yuxette!

YUXETTE: Yux! (Right behind you!)

X-Naut and Yuxette run off through Petalburg, leaving the Paratroopa behind, looking after them.

PARATROOPA: …OK, not sure if I caught all that, but that mustachioed guy…could he be…the dude she talked about?

X-Naut's sprint is interrupted by a ringtone going off. X-Naut got an e-mail!

X-NAUT: *pulls out Mailbox DS and opens it*

MESSAGE:

 **XNDM Registration**

Attention, Mr. X-NAUT! We offer you congratulations for registering with the XNDM (X-Naut Direct Mail) service. Your trusted comrade, MR. WHITE, referred you to us.

Our local spy system will keep us—and you in return—updated with news from all over the world!

We hope you enjoy our service! Now get back to work!

**************************************  
Published by the X-Ray Today Committee  
**************************************

X-Naut puts away his DS and continues until he and Yuxette reach the gate at the end of the village. A Koopa is on guard.

KOOPA: An old stronghold called Shhwonk Fortress lies ahead. A stone creature lives there. At least, it USED to live there. Some mustache man went there earlier and defeated it. But if you still want to go there, I'll let you through. *pushes gate open*

X-Naut and Yuxette follow the path to Shhwonk Fortress. They battle Goombas and their first Koopa Troopa enemies along the way. Eventually, they reach an old, stony building with two pedestals inside. Two bald creatures with cleft chins stand on top of the pedestals. When X-Naut examines them, the Bald Clefts suddenly spring to life and attack.

 _BATTLE MODE ENTERED!_

X-Naut and Yuxette face off against the Bald Clefts. The two heroes switch positions so X-Naut is behind Yuxette.

Yuxette used Duplicate! A Mini-Yux appears, producing a barrier around Yuxette at the cost of 1 FP!

X-Naut used Power Slam! -2 FP. NICE! The first Bald Cleft loses 2 HP, causing it to faint!

The other Bald Cleft used Rock Charge on Yuxette, since she's in front. The Mini-Yux took the attack and fainted!

X-Naut switches back to the front and uses Power Slam! NICE! It uses up the last 2 FP, but the second Bald Cleft is defeated!

 _BATTLE MODE END!_

After the Bald Clefts disappear, a yellowish, crescent-shaped stone falls from the ceiling and the gate at the end of the room opens. X-Naut obtains the Moon Stone and continues along the next path. Eventually our two heroes enter another building of Shhwonk Fortress, also with two pedestals. When X-Naut checks them, the two spikey stone creatures on top of the pedestals come to life and attack.

 _BATTLE MODE ENTERED!_

The opponents are Bristles, enemies that, because of their spikes, can't be jumped on OR tackled from the front.

X-Naut used a POW Block! This item shakes the ground when hit, causing the Bristles to tumble upside-down and lose 2 HP each, defeating them both!

 _BATTLE MODE END!_

A spiky orange stone falls from the ceiling, but the gate at the end of the room doesn't open. X-Naut obtains the Sun Stone and heads back down the path to Petalburg. After running back through town and reaching the bridge in Petal Meadows, they hear a voice all of a sudden.

VOICE: Hey! You two!

X-NAUT & YUXETTE: **?**

A young Koopa Troopa walks across the bridge towards them. The Troopa is wearing, instead of a turtle shell, half of an eggshell on his head and the other half in place of pants. X-Naut and Yuxette look at him.

TROOPA: Just who're you guys? And what are you doing here? This is the future site of King Bowser's picnic!

YUXETTE: Yux? (Huh?)

X-NAUT: Who are you?

TROOPA: Listen, pal, my name's Jr. Troopa! And you've got some guts, strolling through here like you own the place! I'm on guard, and you're trespassing! Suffer the consequences!

 _BATTLE MODE ENTERED! AGAIN!_

X-Naut and Yuxette face Jr. Troopa this time.

JR. TROOPA: You chose the wrong guy to mess with today, pal! You're about to see what happens when you get in the way of the Koopa clan!

X-NAUT: *uses Tattle Log* That's Jr. Troopa. He's a young Koopa who still carries his eggshell around, but he thinks he's pretty tough. Max HP is 10, attack is 1, and defense is 0. Not much to boast about. Still, this guy…what's his deal? He said he was guarding a picnic site. What kind of job is that? And who did he say he was working for? I forget… But still, he doesn't seem to be too good at his job. Just because you're a guard doesn't mean you attack everyone in sight! But I doubt he'll listen to us, so we'll just have to fight it out.

Yuxette used Laser Ring! NICE! Jr. Troopa lost 2 HP!

Jr. Troopa used Headbutt on X-Naut! Owch! X-Naut lost 1 HP!

X-Naut slams Jr. Troopa! NICE! Jr. Troopa took 2 damage!

Yuxette used Laser Ring! NICE hit! Jr. Troopa is down to 4 HP!

Jr. Troopa headbutts X-Naut! NICE Guard! X-Naut took no damage!

X-Naut used Power Slam! -2 FP. NICEly done! Jr. Troopa lost 4 HP, which means he's defeated!

 _BATTLE MODE END! AGAIN!_

JR. TROOPA: OWWWWW! You're tougher than you look, buddy! But if I ever see you again, you'll be…sorry… *collapses*

YUXETTE: Yux… (Weird guy…)

X-NAUT: OOOOOOOOOO-K… What do you think that guy's problem was?

X-Naut and Yuxette leave behind the dizzy Troopa and get back to their mission.

* * *

 **Part 3: Hooktail Castle**

X-Naut and Yuxette run through Petal Meadows, trying to avoid the Goombas. They eventually reach the stones in the proximity of Hooktail Castle again. X-Naut goes to the rocks and places the two stone keys into the niches. The two stones slowly roll back, revealing two switches. A message appears on the center stone.

VOICE: Oh! X-Naut!

X-Naut and Yuxette turn to see who has spoken. X-Naut White walks over to them.

WHITE: So, you're back? Did you uncover anything about the Crystal Star?

X-NAUT: Well…kinda.

WHITE: Is that so… What did you find out?

X-NAUT: …Well, it's…not exactly…easy to tell…

YUXETTE: Yux! (Someone else is after the Crystal Star!)

WHITE: Pardon? Is your Yux trying to tell me something, X-Naut?

X-NAUT: …OK, see, there's this mustached guy that we heard about… *tells White what they discovered*

WHITE: Hmm… I see. So someone else is after the Crystal Star…

YUXETTE: Yux! (That's what I said!)

WHITE: And what are you planning to do now? Were you thinking of pursuing this person in the hopes of stopping him? Or perhaps…obtaining the Crystal Star first?

X-NAUT: Well…yeah, something like that.

WHITE: Foolish. You know you're supposed to contact Sir Grodus and tell him this news before any other action is commenced.

X-NAUT: But…that could take too long! That person could be in the castle right now, fighting Hooktail!

WHITE: And do you think he's capable of defeating Hooktail?

X-NAUT: …

YUXETTE: Yux? (Would you take that chance?)

WHITE: …What did your Yux say?

X-NAUT: She said, "Would you take that chance?"

WHITE: Hm. If you really believe the situation is that dire, then perhaps you should go ahead. I'll contact Sir Grodus for you.

X-NAUT: Oh, thanks!

WHITE: No thanks are necessary. I am merely doing my job. *walks to the stone with the message on it* Now, to enter Hooktail Castle, you'll have to heed this message. *reads message* "Here beginneth the path to dread Hooktail Castle. Weaklings, retreateth! Ye who seeketh to proceed: a power of two must hitteth both switches simultaneously. *** Addendum *** If ye are a Petalburg Koopa, huzzah! Your HOLD ability maketh this chore a snap!" *turns to X-Naut*

X-NAUT: A Petalburg Koopa?

WHITE: Needless to say, you don't have a Koopa with a Hold ability. *turns to Yuxette* You do, however, have a Yux with a Charge ability. I'll leave this riddle for you to figure out. *steps aside*

X-Naut uses Yuxette's ability to charge a laser ring at one switch while he runs to the other. Yuxette fires at the switch and X-Naut jumps on the other switch at the same time. The center stone breaks away, revealing a pipe.

WHITE: Very good. This pipe will take you to Hooktail Castle.

X-NAUT: *hops on the pipe* Thanks for your help! *goes into pipe with Yuxette*

WHITE: … *turns and walks away without contacting Grodus*

X-Naut and Yuxette appear in the background, where they enter the castle. After walking through the tall, stone gatehouse, X-Naut and Yuxette find themselves at the castle's moat. A wooden bridge is the only visible way across, and it's broken in the middle. A large oak doorway, the real entrance to the castle, stands on the other side of the moat. X-Naut gazes at the size of the colossal stone walls that stretch to the clouds.

X-NAUT: Wow… This place looks pretty frightening…but also pretty majestic, too. Do you know what I mean?

YUXETTE: Yux… (I guess…)

X-NAUT: Look! The drawbridge is broken…so we can't get across. Any ideas, Yuxette?

YUXETTE: Yux… (Uh, not really…)

X-NAUT & YUXETTE: …

After much thinking, they turn around and head back into the gatehouse. But when they enter, another voice shouts to them…

VOICE: Hey, you two!

X-Naut and Yuxette look across the room and see the Paratroopa flapping just above the ground. He flies over to the duo.

X-NAUT: Huh? You again?

YUXETTE: Yux? (Yeah?)

PARATROOPA: Uh, yeah, it's me again. I sorta followed you dudes back here, and I overheard you talking about a broken bridge… So I figured, hey! Why don't I give you a little lift across?

X-NAUT: Really? You'd do that for us?

PARATROOPA: Sure, dudes! But only on one condition… You let me come along with you for the rest of the journey in that castle!

X-NAUT & YUXETTE: **!**

PARATROOPA: Let me explain. The name's Parakete. I'm not from around here, either. Now, I've got the looks, the moves, and the 'tude, but I just don't have the action, know what I mean? What I mean is: Parakete here could use a little adventure in his lifetime! 'Cause, you see…chicks dig men of action, right? Riiight.

YUXETTE: Yux. (This guy's a loon.)

PARAKETE: Huh? What did that green blobby thing say?

YUXETTE: Yux?! (Blobby thing?!)

X-NAUT: Uh…Yuxette said "yux."

PARAKETE: Well that was like, totally obvious, dude.

YUXETTE: *hops up and down* Yux! (X-Naut!)

X-NAUT: *turns to Yuxette* Shhh! Let's hear this guy out!

PARAKETE: …So, since you dudes are interested in Crystal Stars and you're heading towards Hooktail Castle… I thought you guys must be adventurers! Am I right, or am I right?

X-NAUT: *turns to Parakete* Umm… I guess so.

PARAKETE: Right on, man! So, can I come along or what, dudes?

X-NAUT: Uh, sure! What's the harm? *turns to Yuxette* It's OK with you it he comes along, isn't it, Yuxette?

YUXETTE: …Yux. (…Whatever.)

X-NAUT: *turns back to Parakete* Yuxette said "yes."

PARAKETE: All right, man! You won't regret it, seriously! You've got yourself a partner!

YUXETTE: …Yux. (…Peh.)

Parakete joined X-Naut's party! Parakete's abilities: A Primer. Parakete can pick up X-Naut and carry him in the air temporarily. He can transport X-Naut across short gaps that he normally can't jump over. In battle, Parakete can strike a single foe with his basic attack, the Shell Toss! He can also strike multiple foes, even airborne ones, with his Shell Shot attack! **Author's Note (2005):** "Normally, only one partner can be out at a time, but just for the sake of the story, I'll make it as if they're all present."

PARAKETE: All right, what's your name, dude? X-Naut? Hmm… How 'bout I just call you X-dude from now on? Sounds catchy to me. Anyways, to get across that bridge, I have to carry you, of course. Just get as close to that break as you can, and let me rip!

X-Naut, Yuxette and Parakete go back to the bridge and Parakete flies X-Naut across. Yuxette just floats across the break. Then they open the big oak doors and enter a hallway covered in red-tiled flooring and walls with dozens of windows, which wouldn't be too intimidating if not for the skeletal remains of Koopa Troopas strewn all over the floor. There are also some Koopa Paratroopa enemies flying around the room, attacking X-Naut whenever he gets close.

After defeating the enemies, X-Naut and his partners enter the next room, which has cages built into the walls. X-Naut, Yuxette and Parakete move past the Koopa skeletons on the ground and head for the next door. They find a pile of red-colored Koopa bones sitting in front of the door, blocking their way. X-Naut checks the bones and they suddenly start rattling.

X-NAUT: **!**

RED BONES: Blaarf harf harf HARF! You clearly don't value your lives much if you've come to this castle to disturb us. You will go no further, and from this moment on…you'll be nothing but bones!

The Red Bones springs to life, simultaneously bringing an army of living Koopa skeletons crashing down from the ceiling. The mob surrounds the group and starts pushing it back.

PARAKETE: X-dude! What's up with these maniacs? OUCH! Hey! Watch the wings, pal! X-dude! These guys are all over me, man! Do something!

X-NAUT: Mrrrmmmfff… Yuxette! Fire!

YUXETTE: Yux! (Rodger!)

Yuxette fires laser rings at the mob. As the rings hit their targets, the skeletons go flying. X-Naut and Parakete take cover behind Yuxette as she pummels the army with charged-up, explosive attacks. Eventually, they forge an opening in the crowd and reach the Red Bones, who is still guarding the door.

 _BATTLE MODE ENTERED!_

X-Naut and Yuxette face off against the Red Bones and four of the Koopa skeletons, called Dull Bones. **Author's Note (2005):** "Even though I'm including all of the partners on the field, I'm sticking with the rules during battle, so only one partner fights at a time."

[Can't flee this fight!]

X-Naut changes his partner to Parakete.

Parakete used Shell Shot! -3 FP. Parakete withdraws into his shell, charges up while aiming, and charges through all five enemies! NICE! All of them lose 1 HP, which is enough to defeat all four Dull Bones!

Red Bones tosses a bone at X-Naut! Ouch! -3 HP!

X-Naut slams into Red Bones! NICE! Red Bones took 1 damage!

Parakete used Shell Toss! Parakete flies over to Red Bones and swoops into it with his shell! NICE! Red Bones lost its last HP!

 _BATTLE MODE END!_

With the Red Bones gone, the army of Dull Bones scatters. X-Naut opens the door and the team continues on their way.

* * *

 **Part 4: The Curse**

X-Naut walks through the next tall room. After battling some more Dull Bones, he hops up some stairs to a locked door. A key lies on the wall, but X-Naut is unable to reach it. He sees a yellow block resting on top of a gray block with an up-arrow imprinted on it. X-Naut uses Yuxette's charged laser ring to destroy the block, and then he hits a nearby switch that causes the arrow block to rise upward without the weight. Now Yuxette has room to fire another laser ring at a switch some distance away along the wall. The switch triggers, making the stairs flip around to face the opposite direction. X-Naut climbs them and hops onto a ledge. The key is on another ledge a few feet away. Since Yuxette's laser rings can't pick up items, X-Naut has Parakete fly him over to the ledge. After X-Naut obtains the Castle Key, Yuxette fires another laser ring at the switch, rotating the stairs back to their original position. X-Naut drops down from the ledge, climbs the stairs again, and opens the locked door.

X-Naut and his gang enter a tower, but they don't climb up just yet. Instead, they open the door on the opposite side and find themselves in a dungeon room filled with cells, chained balls, and even more Dull Bones. There's a fenced-off switch that opens one of the three cell doors temporarily. X-Naut has Yuxette charge up a laser ring at the switch while he and Parakete run and fly—X-Naut runs, Parakete flies—to the cell door. When Yuxette shoots the switch, the bars retreat and the gang quickly goes inside before the door slams down again.

X-Naut finds a hole in the cell that leads to another room in the torture chamber. This room has some axes on the wall, a couple of old barrels, a rickety wooden chair, another chained ball, and an open black chest. Near the center of the room is a raggedy, yet muscular Toad. He spots the group and speaks with an odd voice.

TOAD: What the heck? Who are you guys? I can't remember the last time someone found me here! No one's ever dared to go this far inside the castle before.

X-NAUT: *walks up to the Toad* …Uh, who are you? And what are you doing here?

PARAKETE: And dude, your voice sounds a little funny.

TOAD: *gets angry* Hey! People can't help how they sound! So butt out! *stops being angry* …Oops, sorry. I shouldn't blow up on new acquaintances. See, I'm a prisoner here. I've been locked inside this room for a LONG time! Yeah… In fact, it's been so long, I don't even remember what I was doing before I got imprisoned… Hey, listen! Could you tell me what year it is?

X-NAUT: Um, it's the year ○○. ( **Author's Note (2005):** "Dates in the story are always recorded as shapes for some reason, so there.")

TOAD: Good gravy! That's the year when…

YUXETTE: Yux? (When what?)

TOAD: Uh, nothing! Never mind!

PARAKETE: Dude, this dude is pretty suspicious… Guess all these years in captivity wasted his brain.

X-NAUT: Wait… Did he just understand Yuxette?

YUXETTE: Yux! (Yeah, he replied to me!)

TOAD: Uh… What's a Yux-a-thingy? What are we talking about again? I don't understand…

PARAKETE: See? Wasted to nothing, man.

TOAD: *gets angry again* Grrrrrr!

YUXETTE: Yux? (What did we come in here for?)

TOAD: *stops being angry* Good question. You're basically trapped in this room with me now. No way to get those cell doors back open…

PARAKETE: What?! This blows, man! I ain't spending the rest of my hip life in this crumb pit!

X-NAUT: OK, so what can we do now?

TOAD: How about doing me a favor? Could you maybe find this little trinket I lost? It's this medallion of mine. I'll get along in this prison a lot better if I get it back.

YUXETTE: Yux… (He might get along a lot better with Parakete too…)

TOAD: So, could you please find my medallion? I'll make it worth your while if you do! You know, a little I-scratch-your-back-you-scratch-mine! Except in reverse order. Of course, you don't have to if you don't want to. Like finding a medal is hard…

PARAKETE: So, what oughta we do, X-dude? Think we can trust our luck with this hobo?

TOAD: *angry* GRRRRRR!

X-NAUT: *hastily* Yep, let's do it!

X-Naut opens the door on the far side of the room. Inside is a large, spacious, and enclosed room with a small chest in the center. Some metal plates with holes in them cover the ground in a mazelike pattern. X-Naut, Yuxette and Parakete go across the oddly-tiled floor to the chest, open it, and find something called the Medallion of Strength. Suddenly, spikes shoot up from the holes, leaving only the narrow, non-metal path to walk on. The group looks around at the spikes.

YUXETTE: **!** Yux! Yux! (Look! Up there!)

Yuxette and X-Naut look up at the ceiling. Parakete takes a hint from them and looks up too. The ceiling is covered with spikes and is slowly descending upon the ground.

PARAKETE: Whoa! Dude, that is NOT cool! Let's get outta here before we get pinned to the ground…literally!

X-Naut and Parakete have 50 seconds to navigate the maze and find their way back to the entrance. They finally reach the door and exit just before the ceiling hits the ground.

PARAKETE: Dude, that was way gnarly! This is EXACTLY what I signed up for! Woohoo! Now, let's give that trinket back to that prisoner dude with the weird voice.

TOAD: You know, I'm right here, and I can hear every word you say.

PARAKETE: Oh, sorry dude.

X-NAUT: *shows the medallion to the Toad*

TOAD: What's that? You actually found my item? Wow! Thanks, guys!

X-NAUT: *hands over Medallion of Strength*

TOAD: YESSS! You're my hero! I'm in your debt! …Or not! WHEEE HEE HEE HEE HEE! FOOOOOOOLS!

Suddenly, the Toad transforms into purple wallpaper that covers everything except X-Naut. A large, spooky face appears in the background.

SPIRIT: How do you like being tricked in such a humiliating fashion? You don't, right? You didn't really think I was going to HELP you, did you?! I was just looking for the perfect dummy to CURSE! And you fit the bill! Oogly-googly-BOO!

Lights flash and X-Naut gets cursed.

SPIRIT: Wheee hee hee hee hee! How do you like them apples? Now you're cursed! Oh, how I delight in making people miserable! It thrills me to no end! Now, whenever you turn sideways, you'll be like a piece of paper! You'll spend the rest of your life under this horrible curse! Don't you feel lucky? I think I'll tell you all the details about this curse so you can see what you're plagued with! Demonstrate! Turn sideways and tremble at your new appearance!

X-NAUT: *turns sideways and becomes a thin piece of paper* *turns back around and turns back into his normal body*

SPIRIT: Wheeee hee hee hee hee! Just look at yourself! How embarrassing for you! Eat a sandwich, skinny! Hee! …Do you understand what this curse means for you?

X-NAUT: Uh, I guess so.

SPIRIT: Then I'll leave you to your fate! Wheee hee hee hee hee!

The spirit's face disappears and the purple wallpaper crumples up and shrinks to nothing. X-Naut is back in the dungeon room with Yuxette and Parakete.

PARAKETE: …Dude, what was up with THAT guy?

YUXETTE: Yux… (This adventure just keeps on getting weirder and weirder…)

* * *

 **Part 5: Hooktail**

X-Naut and his group go back through the hole and into the cell. They use the power of their new "curse", turning sideways into paper and slipping in between the bars of the cell. Then they exit the dungeon and travel back the way they came.

X-Naut goes back to the room where he fought the Red Bones. He finds a cage in the wall that has vertical bars without horizontal bars intertwining and slips through. He finds a Castle Key inside the cell and takes it back to the tower.

X-Naut climbs onto a green elevator block and has Yuxette fire a laser ring at a nearby switch. The elevator activates, carrying X-Naut's gang up a few floors and stopping at some more stairs. The gang climbs up to another door, unlocks it with the key, and continues.

The next path is divided by large gaps. X-Naut activates a switch by jumping on it. The switch tears up some wallpaper in the gap, revealing the covered-up walkway. X-Naut shuffles across to the next gap. He sees a switch on the other side, so he has Yuxette do her thing. The switch bridges the second gap, which leaves only one more gap to get across. X-Naut doesn't see any switch, so he figures, hey, why not use Parakete to get across? The last gap is shorter than the first two anyway. So Parakete flies X-Naut across, and they open the next door.

They find themselves inside another tower with another elevator block. X-Naut fights off some Dull Bones and has Yuxette charge up at the switch, then scrambles to the block and has Yuxette release. The block ascends to a stone walkway that stretches either way, with a door on either side. One door is locked, so X-Naut takes the other.

The room X-Naut enters appears to be a storage room. There are boxes of iron balls and shelves full of spears and axes. Some barrels and chests lay on the floor. Some chests are open already. X-Naut opens the closed chests and finds a Mushroom, some Honey Syrup, and another Castle Key. As X-Naut is about to leave the room, Parakete speaks up.

PARAKETE: Y'know, X-dude, I was thinking…

X-NAUT: *turns to Parakete* Yeah?

PARAKETE: …The reason we're going through this castle and all…is to get the Crystal Star, right?

X-NAUT: …Yeah…or, at least…stop this mustache guy from getting it first….

PARAKETE: Gotcha. This mustachioed dude…I think I mighta heard about him…

X-NAUT: Really?

PARAKETE: Yeah… You know that cute chick I followed back in Petalburg? Dang, she was hot…but yeah, I followed her…and talked to her…and it turns out she has this boyfriend, which is like, a total bummer, but anyways, this boyfriend… The girl said the dude was going to this castle with some mustache man… You think that's the same guy?

X-NAUT: The mustache man?

YUXETTE: Yux! (I don't see how it could be someone else!)

X-NAUT: Yeah…it must be… So what was the point of telling us that?

PARAKETE: No point, really…just something I was thinking about.

X-NAUT: What? You don't even happen to know the guy's name?

PARAKETE: Uh, no. Oh, but we do know that this mustache dude has friends! That's something new!

X-NAUT: Yeah, well… *turns to Yuxette* We have friends, too! Right, Yuxette?

YUXETTE: Yux! (Yeah!)

The trio runs out of the storage room, across the stone walkway, takes out a Paragoomba, unlocks the other door, and charges through the next room, taking out any enemies that get in their way. They find the next door on a ledge that is out of their reach. X-Naut uses Yuxette's Charge ability to hit a yellow switch while X-Naut and Parakete run onto a yellow elevator block. When the block stops, Parakete takes wing and flies X-Naut all the way over to the ledge with the door.

Now they're back in the first tower, only much higher. Downstairs a ways, there's another elevator block, but this time it's blocking the path. X-Naut jumps into a suspended switch, making the elevator drop down, leaving a gap. On the other side of the gap is yet another Castle Key, easy pickings for Parakete. With that, X-Naut climbs to the top of the tower and unlocks the door.

The crew is outside now, walking across a long, stone bridge that leads from the first tower to the second. The sky is beginning to turn dark. Koopa Troopas and Paratroopas patrol the bridge, but they aren't any match for X-Naut and his friends. They enter the second tower and climb up a winding staircase, going higher…and higher…and higher… The sky gets darker with each step they take. They all get ominous feelings in the pits of their stomachs. They seem to know what lies at the top of the tower, what they are heading for… What they don't know is if they'll be able to come out with the Crystal Star, or even alive… Nonetheless, they continue onward determinedly, as if by some unspoken agreement. They don't know exactly what they'll find, but they'll have to face it. It's too late to turn back now, they all think. Whatever is in store for us at the top of this tower, we'll have to face it together, and face it we shall.

 **Author's Note (2005):** "…I wonder why I'm being so dramatic here. It's not like what the characters think is that important to the story. Just building up suspense, I guess. Anyways…it's time to wrap things up."

X-Naut, Yuxette, and Parakete battle one last Spiky Goomba at the top of the staircase before stepping outside and hopping up the last few stairs. They are now outside the castle's keep, in front of two gigantic wooden doors. They push them open and enter the humongous chamber within.

X-NAUT, YUXETTE & PARAKETE: **!**

There, in the middle of the room, lies a red dragon with three purple, hook-shaped tails, powerful claws, two small wings, a bloated snout, and three hairpieces protruding from its head. What's incredible about it is that it seems to be composed entirely out of paper. Even more incredible, however, is that the dragon is lying flat on its back, seemingly dead.

PARAKETE: WHOA! Is that…Hooktail? I thought it might be a little more…you know, lively.

X-NAUT: Somebody must have already beaten it! And it was probably that mustached guy…

PARAKETE: Well, that's a relief, I guess. So, what do we do now, X-dude?

X-NAUT: We should at least try to search for the Crystal Star that the dragon was guarding.

X-Naut, Yuxette and Parakete look all around the room for the Crystal Star. They search every nook and cranny—even around and on top of Hooktail's body—and don't find a thing. They meet up again in front of the dead dragon.

X-NAUT: So…did you find it anywhere?

PARAKETE: Nope. Nothing here, dude. Sorry.

YUXETTE: Yux… (I got nothing as well…)

X-NAUT: Darn… I guess we're too late.

VOICE: Grrrrrrrroooooooooorrrrrrgh…

X-NAUT, YUXETTE: & PARAKETE: **!**

Hooktail stirs, opens her eyes, and turns over onto her belly. X-Naut, Yuxette, and Parakete scramble out of the way of her descending feet and stand with their backs against the walls, staring at the very-much-alive dragon in stark terror. Hooktail is now standing upright, but looks slightly disoriented.

HOOKTAIL: Uuuurrgh… It feels like I just coughed something up… *looks around* Huh? Hey! Where did that tubby red-and-blue clothed guy with the mustache go? Did he just take what I think he took? *spots the group* And just who are you three? *looks droopy* Uuuughhh… That man and that Koopa of his did a number on me… But all I need is a hearty meal and I'll be back to normal! *stomps around to face the gang* And you three look like you'll make a good energizing snack!

 _BATTLE MODE ENTERED!_

And thus, the boss battle with Hooktail begins. X-Naut and Parakete stand at one side of the wooden stage while Hooktail takes up the entire other side and most of the backstage.

HOOKTAIL: Ohh ho ho ho ho ho ho! Snack time, little appetizers! Once I devour you, I'll have enough energy to continue feasting upon the villages of this world!

PARAKETE: Whoa! This doesn't look good, X-dude. I really don't want to end up as an unstylish pile of bones.

X-NAUT: Umm… Don't worry! We can take this dragon! If that mustache guy and his friends could topple this beast, then so can we!

[Can't flee this fight!]

X-NAUT: *uses Tattle Log* That's Hooktail! Max HP is 15, attack is 4, and defense is 0. It attacks by stomping, biting, and it even has fire breath… Not good. Hm… It says here that Hooktail is a deceitful dragon who will try to trick its way out of an untimely demise. And apparently it can't stand things that begin with 'cr' and end with 'icket'. A…cricket? Wish there was a way we could use something like that…right about now…

Parakete used Shell Toss! NICE! Hooktail took 2 damage!

Hooktail used Fire Breath on X-Naut and Parakete! Yeeeowch! They both took 3 damage!

X-Naut used Jump Slam! NICE! Hooktail lost 2 HP!

Parakete tosses his shell again! NICE one! -2 more HP for Hooktail!

Hooktail used Stomp on X-Naut! NICE Guard! X-Naut still took 3 damage!

X-Naut tackles Hooktail's foot! NICE hit! Hooktail -2 HP! Just 7 left!

Parakete used Shell Toss again! NICE! Hooktail lost 2 more HP!

Hooktail stomps on Parakete! He guards NICEly! Parakete -3 HP!

X-Naut switches places with Parakete. Parakete shell tosses into Hooktail again, dealing a NICE blow! Hooktail -2 HP!

X-Naut used Power Slam! -2 FP. NICE! That took away Hooktail's remaining 3 HP!

HOOKTAIL: W-wait! Hold up a moment! I give up! Please! I won't be bad anymore. In fact, I'm sorry! For everything I've done! Er… Yeah… To show for it, I'll give you 1,000 coins! So, what do you say? Will you forgive me?

PARAKETE: 1000 coins? Sounds pretty snazzy, eh, X-dude?

X-NAUT: …No thanks. I don't need those coins.

HOOKTAIL: What? Are you serious? Hmmm… Then…how about a lovely, rare, extra-special badge instead, huh? I'll give it to you if you only forgive me!

PARAKETE: You know, I don't think we can trust this dragon…

X-NAUT: You're right.

HOOKTAIL: Hmmmph! Don't trust me, do you? What if I let you smell…

X-NAUT: No!

HOOKTAIL: You didn't even let me… You know what? Forget this trickery nonsense! I'm going straight for the meat of the situation!

Hooktail creeps back behind stage and suddenly lashes out at the audience watching the battle. She gobbles up a large number of members, and the rest flee the theatre. Hooktail replenishes 10 HP, her attack goes up to 5, and her defense rises to 1!

PARAKETE: Man! That is sick and wrong, dude!

HOOKTAIL: Ohh ho ho ho ho ho ho! Now my strength has returned to me! I'm re-energized at last!

PARAKETE: C'mon, X-dude! Let's finish off this creep, and fast!

X-Naut and Parakete jump off the stage to confront Hooktail.

Parakete switched places with X-Naut. X-Naut Power Slams Hooktail! At the cost of 2 more FP, X-Naut delivers a NICE blow that takes away 3 HP!

Parakete used Shell Toss! NICE one! 2 more HP down for Hooktail! Just 5 left!

Hooktail used Fire Breath! NICE Guards, but X-Naut and Parakete still take 4 damage! Danger! Parakete is down to his last 5 HP!

X-Naut used First Aid! X-Naut collects the falling hearts and flowers while avoiding the Poison Mushrooms. X-Naut +6 HP! Parakete +4 HP! X-Naut +5 FP!

Parakete used Shell Shot! NICE! It takes away 3 FP and does only 1 damage due to Hooktail's defense, but it still looks cool!

Hooktail used Stomp on X-Naut! GREAT Superguard! Hooktail lost 1 HP!

X-Naut used Power Slam! That's one heck of a NICE shot! Hooktail loses 3 HP, and she is down!

HOOKTAIL: Noooooooo… How could I have been beaten…TWICE?! It just can't be… This…could…be…the…end…for…me… Goodbye, all my meals…farewell, all you…tasty…morsels… *collapses*

 _BATTLE MODE END!_

Hooktail falls over on her back again, and hopefully this time, she will stay down.

PARAKETE: Wowzers… That was one mean dragon… But we won anyways, X-dude! Hooray for us!

YUXETTE: Yux! Yux! (Yay! We rocked!)

X-NAUT: But we were too late to get the Crystal Star…

PARAKETE: Oh yeah, there's that…but at least we're alive!

YUXETTE: Yux! (We're not just alive, we're kicking!)

X-NAUT: But—

Suddenly, lights start glowing around X-Naut.

YUXETTE: Yux! Yux! (Oh! This again!)

PARAKETE: Hey, X-dude? You're…glowing, man. You feeling all right?

The lights disappear, and a circle of sparkles flies up X-Naut's body. Another piece of X-Naut's memory is revived, and X-Naut remembered the special move Seismic Wave!

 **E** **N** **D** **O** **F** **C** **H** **A** **P** **T** **E** **R**

After making his way through the dreaded Hooktail Castle, X-Naut got the chance to trounce Hooktail. But even though he was victorious, he had failed to obtain the Crystal Star. But still, his mission has not been in vain. He has learned invaluable information for his master, Grodus. But just who is this mustachioed man who is after the Crystal Stars? And does he really possess the Magical Map? Yes… X-Naut's adventure has only just begun.

* * *

 **Interlude**

 _Colors… There are many colors flying around… And the sensation… It feels as if I'm adrift in my own mind… I have a headache… I can't feel the rest of my body… Is this dream? Where am I? …Something's near… I can feel it… Oh! I…_

A sepia-toned image of a towering dragon appears through the veil of colors. It is frozen in motion like a still-life painting, with a foot raised to stomp something below her…

 _…This is…Hooktail…_

VOICE: Yux! Yux? (X-Naut! Are you OK?)

 _…That voice!_

The image vanishes along with the flowing colors. Now the view is of the ceiling of Hooktail's room. Yuxette and Parakete are looking down on the viewer.

PARAKETE: Dude, I think he just blinked!

YUXETTE: Yux! Yux! (He's alive! Yay!)

X-Naut picks himself up from the floor of the chamber and looks around. Hooktail's body is still there, but she's stopped twitching now.

X-NAUT: Uh…what happened?

PARAKETE: Well, you're gonna think this is crazy, but… There were all these crazy lights, and then you just stood there, man, and then, it was like, WHOOSH! A gust of wind knocked you down like you were a statue, dude.

YUXETTE: Yux! (You fainted, X-Naut!)

X-NAUT: I did? Huh… I don't recall…

PARAKETE: Like a statue, man… A statue.

X-NAUT: How long was I down?

YUXETTE: Yux. (Only a few seconds.)

X-NAUT: Oh… Then there's still time! We have to inform Sir Grodus about this immediately!

PARAKETE: Who?

X-NAUT: My boss. *pulls out Mailbox DS* He's not going to be happy to hear this… But I have a mission, so it needs to be done. *flips DS open*

YUXETTE: Yux… (Glad to see you're feeling better, X-Naut…)

PARAKETE: Hey, whatcha got there? Is that some sort of Mailbox SP or something?

X-NAUT: Actually, it's a Mailbox DS. I guess it's pretty advanced.

X-Naut pulls out a stylus pen and starts tapping on the bottom screen. Soon, words appear on the top screen.

SCREEN: Now connecting to Grodus's room. Please wait…

Meanwhile, at the X-Naut Fortress in the second sublevel, two X-Nauts are standing beside the door that the mob of X-Nauts ran through the other day. The door suddenly opens.

X-NAUTS: **!** *step aside*

Lord Crump, the big X-Naut with the purple headgear, red cape, and black uniform with a white X, comes marching through the doors.

LORD CRUMP: Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! Guess who's back, everyone! It's your favorite Lord Crump, with a special delivery for Sir Grodus! *looks around* …Which will arrive momentarily, due to some, uh, cooperation problems. Anyway, I'd better get back to Grodus and tell him what a good job I did! Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh!

 **Author's Note (2005):** "Yes, it's Lord Crump, but that's not all. If this were, in fact, a game, you would be controlling Lord Crump right now! Isn't that awesome? …Well then, back to adventure!"

Lord Crump just walks around the 2nd sublevel and sees a couple of X-Nauts talking together. He decides to listen in.

1ST X-NAUT: So the other day, Lord Crump gave me the job of doing the laundry!

2ND X-NAUT: So what? All of us have to do the laundry sometime…

1ST X-NAUT: Not just regular laundry! HIS laundry!

2ND X-NAUT: Ohhh… Now I see where you're coming from…

1ST X-NAUT: It was the nastiest thing I ever did, dude! Have you SMELLED Lord Crump's undies?! They could knock out an elephant!

2ND X-NAUT: *sees Lord Crump* Uh…dude, you might want to…

1ST X-NAUT: Oh, but it was far worse TOUCHING those things! There was this one pair of boxers that had this WEIRD spot on—

CRUMP: A-HEM!

1ST X-NAUT: *turns around and jumps* Aaaaaaah! L-Lord Crump!

CRUMP: I hope you're not complaining about the work I give you! Especially those good privileges like doing my laundry! Most X-Nauts would kill for a job like that!

1ST X-NAUT: Um, yes sir—I mean, no sir, I wasn't complaining!

CRUMP: Good! And for your information, my hygiene happens to be top-notch compared to you slugs! You could only dream of having the luxurious clothing I wear! Isn't that right, soldier?

1ST X-NAUT: Yes, of course, sir!

Lord Crump continues down the hallway and meets another X-Naut.

X-NAUT: Lord Crump! LordCrumpLordCrumpLordCrumpLordCrumpLordCrumpLordCrump—

CRUMP: What is it?

X-NAUT: Remember me? It's me, Johnson!

CRUMP: Huh? …Oh yeah, you. What do you want from me?

JOHNSON: I was wondering if I could get your autograph!

CRUMP: An autograph?! …Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! You're kidding, right? You can't expect the great Lord Crump to spend his time handing out free autographs! You gotta earn those babies!

JOHNSON: Oh, of course! How ignorant of me! How may I be of service, my lord?

CRUMP: Why don't you clean out the toilet on the fourth sublevel?

JOHNSON: At once, sir! *salutes and runs off*

CRUMP: *watches him go* Buh huh huh! Sucker!

Lord Crump finally reaches Sir Grodus's room.

CRUMP: Sir Grodus, I have returned!

SIR GRODUS: *turning to look at him* I see. So your capture of the princess was successful, correct?

CRUMP: Yes, sir. Princess Peach will be arriving very shortly, sir.

GRODUS: Good. It is nice to know something went according to plan for once.

CRUMP: Yes, sir, Grodus! *walks to center of room* …But there was that sassy little Goomba and that mustachioed chump…

GRODUS: Pardon? Did you say something, Lord Crump?

CRUMP: Whuh? Oh, nothing, Grodus! Absolutely nothing… Buh huh huh.

GRODUS: Hmm. *turns away*

Then two X-Nauts enter the room with a blond-haired woman standing between them. She wears a pink dress, long white gloves, blue pearly earrings, and a jeweled crown. The X-Nauts salute in their cross-armed position.

X-NAUT 1: O great, exalted Grodus! We have brought the Princess Peach you ordered, sir!

GRODUS: Well, well, well, my pet… Isn't it about time you told us where the map is?

The woman identified as Princess Peach says nothing.

GRODUS: *turns to her* Princess Peach. You will speak when spoken to.

PRINCESS PEACH: I'm telling you, I don't know.

GRODUS: There's no point in trying to hide it, silly girl. We know you had it. We KNOW this. Trust me, it's very much in your best interest to be completely honest with us. We X-Nauts are not all rainbows and lollipops, I assure you. We're quite nasty.

PEACH: …

A holographic screen suddenly appears in the room. X-Naut's visual chat message has finally connected.

X-NAUT: *salutes* Grodus, sir! I have news.

GRODUS: Report at once.

X-NAUT: You know that Crystal Star we thought maybe Hooktail had? Well, someone nabbed it.

GRODUS: What? WHAT did you say? Someone else is after the Crystal Stars? And he defeated that Hooktail creature, you say? SPEAK, soldier!

X-NAUT: Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. There's more, too. See, according to the report, it was a mustached dude in a red hat and blue overalls who pulled the job.

PEACH: Mario!

GRODUS: *steps forward* Excuse me? Mario?

PEACH: *puts a hand to her mouth* Oh no!

GRODUS: Gaack ack ack ack ack! I see… So, you know of this Mario, do you? Hmmm… This fool matters not at all. I'll know all about him before long, that I promise. I grow bored of talking. Take Princess Peach back to the holding room.

X-NAUT 1: Yessir!

The two X-Nauts walk back to Princess Peach.

GRODUS: And men! Take good care of Princess Peach. Understand? She is not to be harmed.

X-NAUT 1: You got it, sir!

The X-Nauts salute, turn around and lead Princess Peach out of the room. The main character X-Naut closes his communication. That leaves just Grodus and Lord Crump in the room.

GRODUS: Well, Lord Crump… If this Mario character has the map, then it's highly likely he'll find the Crystal Star we're hunting in the Boggly Woods. You must return there immediately and hasten the excavation. It must not fail.

CRUMP: Whuzzat?! Oh, yeah, sure! Roger, Grodus! And with that… Pow! I'm gone! *marches out of room, then thinks out loud to self* Uh, what was that guy? Mario? He sounds just like the guy I met in Rogueport. Well, no matter! I've got something important to do, and if that Mario shows his face…then I'll give him another taste of the old CRUMP-A-BOMB! Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh huh!

Lord Crump walks down the hallway to the same room from which he entered. He enters again, and the doors close behind him. There's a whirring sound inside the room, and that concludes Lord Crump's brief moment of gaming glory.

* * *

 **Author's Note (2005):** I've decided to go ahead and make another interlude, mainly because this is my story and I want to put in as much effort into it as I possibly can. So read on!

 **Interlude 2**

Now we look at a dirty town filled with mismatching brick buildings and wooden fences, barrels and boxes. Many of the buildings have graffiti paint on them along with old, torn posters. A rickety billboard stands in front of a shop, and a gallows is displayed in the center of the area. Many people—mostly Goombas, Bandits, Squeeks and Doogans—drift around the town, some lazily, others shiftily. Standing in an alley between two buildings is X-Naut White with his Mailbox DS open.

WHITE: Grodus, sir! I am currently stationed at Rogueport.

GRODUS: Good. If I have anything that concerns X-Naut, I will contact you to deal with it. But in the meantime, you are to conduct more research on the Thousand-Year Door. Beldam has told me that its seal may be weakening after a thousand years.

WHITE: Yes, sir. I'll uncover what I can. *closes link and looks around* Now then, I may need some help in trying to decipher the secrets of the Thousand-Year Door. But who in Rogueport would be able perform such a task?

 **Author's Note (2005):** "Now, X-Naut White is the character of attention for a while. Just clueing you in." White walks around central Rogueport, getting information from all the shady people. One tells him to ask Podley, the innkeeper, any questions regarding the townsfolk. So White drops into the inn and finds an old-timer polishing glasses behind the counter.

PODLEY: Welcome to you and yours! Have a seat! This is Podley's Place, a humble little cola shop where folks mix stories and drinks. By the way, I haven't seen your face around here before. Have you just made port?

WHITE: Yes. My ship has just dropped anchor here. I've arrived on important business.

PODLEY: Oh, really? And what, may I ask, business is that?

WHITE: … I've come to commence research involving the legendary Thousand-Year Door.

PODLEY: You have!? …Well, then, you've come to the right place. The door is supposedly deep beneath this very town. But, you know, the door is just a legend, so no one really knows if it truly exists.

WHITE: Part of the reason I've come here is to find out that very thing. …Only, I haven't the slightest clue where to begin looking. I thought perhaps there would be someone here in Rogueport who would know something…

PODLEY: There is. He's an elderly Goomba by the name of Professor Frankly. I hear he used to teach archaeology at the Universtiy of Goom. If there's anyone who knows about the door, it's him.

WHITE: Is that so? Then perhaps I should negotiate with him.

PODLEY: Yes, I would suggest you do that. Well, here's hoping your research goes well.

WHITE: Thank you. *leaves inn*

X-Naut White then heads over to the east side of Rogueport. This area is divided in part by a large brick wall with a Craw guarding the only opening. Many more fences, barrels and boxes lie throughout the streets. The lower part of the sector is submerged in filthy water. White doesn't pay much heed to the environment and goes into one of the wooden houses. Inside is practically a library, with shelf after shelf filled with books. An elderly Goomba with gray, puffy hair and swirling glasses is sitting at a desk, reading an open book.

WHITE: Excuse me, might you be…Professor Frankly?

FRANKLY: *turns to X-Naut White* Whuzzuh? Who's there? Who wants me?

X-Naut White walks over to the Goomba's desk. The Goomba takes a step forward.

FRANKLY: Ah. Yes. You. Now, you, uh… No, wait! Who are you?

WHITE: My name is… *looks at the book Frankly was reading* ...Treasure map?

FRANKLY: Excuse me? Oh! *closes the book* Nothing important in there.

WHITE: No, wait! That was my name! Er… Trevor…Napkins.

FRANKLY: Trevor Napkins? Ermmm… Of course. So, what sort of errand brings someone like you to a place like this?

WHITE: I came here to conduct important research involving the legendary treasure. I thought that an archaeologist such as yourself would know about it, Professor…

FRANKLY: Of course I know about it. The reason I came here was to study that very subject. But why do you want to research that legendary treasure?

WHITE: I realize it is merely legend… But I am a historian, and it is my job to search for and reveal the truth.

FRANKLY: That's a good point! So, you're a historian, are you, Mr. Napkins? Very well, then I'll cooperate with you however I can. First of all, about the treasure… There are many mysteries surrounding it. Some say it's an infinitely vast treasure hoard, while others say it's a magical item. Some books say it's actually a monster, while still others claim it's an empty chest… So many different theories… Obviously, it's impossible to divine the truth among them. …But all agree on one point: to find the treasure, one must have the Crystal Stars!

WHITE: *jumps* Crystal Stars?!

FRANKLY: Yes, of course. Don't you know the legend? "To find the treasure of yore, take the seven Crystal Stars to the Thousand-Year Door!"

WHITE: Yes, yes, of course I know of it. In any case, I believe I should get to the site of this Thousand-Year Door. The sooner, the better.

FRANKLY: Well, all right then! Fortunately, I know the very path to the door. Just let me show the way. *walks to the door with White* Say, I'm curious… Trevor? Do you know anything about a suspicious gang?

WHITE: What kind of gang?

FRANKLY: They were here in Rogueport quite a while ago. I believe they were after the Crystal Stars.

WHITE: **!** …No, professor, I'm afraid I don't.

FRANKLY: Hmph! Well, then, we should get going.

They go outside and Professor Frankly walks over to a fence post and removes it. Beyond the fence is a pipe that the professor and White take down to the sewers. Before long, they reappear in an infinitely large room that has a set of stairs on either side. Several massive stone columns fill up the room, some of them chipped or fallen in places. Near the front of the room is a large, circular platform with a pedestal in the center. Most important of all, however, is the enormous brown door in front of the pedestal, decorated with the designs of seven stars.

FRANKLY: There! See that, Mr. Napkins? The Thousand-Year Door!

The door, now known as the one and only Thousand-Year Door, looms powerfully before them. Professor Frankly and X-Naut White walk up to it.

FRANKLY: Well, if there's nothing else you need, I suppose I'll head back to my place. *leaves the room*

WHITE: *looking at Frankly* You poor, naïve thing. I already know the path to the Thousand-Year door. You really don't have any idea what's really behind that door, do you? But at least I have someone I can trust with my research. *turns to the door* Time for me to begin! *hears something and turns around* **!** *runs and hides behind a pillar*

A mustached man with a big nose, red cap, and blue overalls enters the room with a Koopa who wears a blue shirt, white boots, and a band-aid on his noggin. The man hops onto the pedestal.

KOOPA: Um… All right, Mario! Hold up that Crystal Star!

The man holds up a diamond-colored Crystal Star in his white gloves. Mysterious blue lights encircle the platform and a brown piece of paper, also in the possession of the mustachio, starts glowing. X-Naut White watches from behind the pillar. The paper shines brilliantly and then floats back to the man. Both he and the Koopa read it.

KOOPA: Hey, uh, Mario, look there. The next Crystal Star showed up on the map. But… I'm sorry, but I don't have a clue where that is.

The man, now known as Mario, raises his hand and says "oh" to the Koopa.

KOOPA: Um… I think maybe we should take it to Professor Frankly and let him look at it.

Mario and the Koopa leave the room. X-Naut White walks out from hiding and watches them leave.

WHITE: …


	3. Chapter 2: The Ticket to Rogues

**Prelude Part 1**

Back in Petalburg, X-Naut, Yuxette and Parakete are meeting with mayor Kroop. Nearby is a cheerful, grown Koopa with brown eyebrows, a short brown beard and a blue shell, as well as a Koopa girl with an orange-blonde ponytail, purple clothes, and a green shell.

KROOP: Oh, X-Nut! You're back! Did you hear the news? Murphy defeated Hooktail! And look who's just come back thanks to his efforts! It's Koops's father, Koopley!

KOOPLEY: Yep! But, it's Mario, mayor.

KROOP: Thanks for the compliment, Koopley. These ARE nice eyebrows. But anyways, you helped Murphy, didn't you X-Nut? You did help him defeat Hooktail and get the Crystal Star?

X-NAUT: …Um, no, not really…

KROOP: I knew you did! You and Murphy make a pretty darn good team, I tell you.

KOOPLEY: *steps forward* Um, mayor? Not to sound disrespectful, but I don't recall seeing this fellow back at the castle.

KROOP: *turns to Koopley* What? Why not? …Don't tell me X-Nut didn't catch up to Murphy in time!

YUXETTE: Yux… (Now he gets it…kinda…)

KROOP: …That's a shame, I suppose. But I guess it means that Murphy defeated Hooktail all by himself! What a hero! *turns to X-Naut* But you, X-Nut… I was so drawn into Koopley's return and Koops's departure that I forgot to mention you to Murphy! Pity he doesn't know about you…

X-NAUT: Actually, I'm just fine with that. In fact, I think it might be better if Murphy, I mean, Mario doesn't know I was here.

KROOP: You sure about that? Well, that's fine then. You'll always have a spot of credit here at Petalburg! We won't forget about you, X-Nut!

X-NAUT: Yeah… Thanks.

PARAKETE: *to the Koopa girl* Call me!

KOOPIE KOO: I told you, Koops is my boyfriend!

PARAKETE: Yeah, well, if ever your boyfriend doesn't return from his advent—

KOOPIE KOO: Don't even say that! *slaps Parakete*

PARAKETE: *is sent spinning* Yeeewwoooaaah! *stops spinning* …Fine. I can take a hint. …Sniff…

X-NAUT & YUXETTE: *begin walking away*

PARAKETE: *turns to X-Naut* Wait, X-dude!

X-NAUT: *stops and turns to Parakete* Yeah?

PARAKETE: *flies over* Well, that whole adventure we had in the castle was pretty fun, wasn't it? Even though it was kinda pointless, we still got to stomp Hooktail, and that was awesome! My point is, I really enjoyed it. So, uh, what'll you say to me staying with you dudes a little longer?

X-NAUT: Well, I don't know. I don't think Sir Grodus will be too happy with that…

YUXETTE: Yux… (Yeah, really…)

PARAKETE: Yeah, from the looks of him on that DS thing you had, he's a pretty tough customer.

X-NAUT: Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt for you to stick around. Just as long as you, um, don't come with us into our base.

PARAKETE: No problem, dudes! You guys are, like, totally the nicest guys someone like me could hope to meet! You're awesome!

X-NAUT: O…K. Now let's head back to the base for a while. Which means, we need to go to the Rogueport Sewers. That's where the entrance is.

YUXETTE: Yux! (We're on our way!)

PARAKETE: All righty, dudes, I'm right behind you!

The trio travels back through Petal Meadows and to the pipe that X-Naut originally came through. They take the pipe down and they emerge in a flooded gray-stone tunnel on top of a rectangular platform in the middle of the water. They hop across some floating platforms to the other side of the room, where they enter through an archway to another tunnel. They hop across the stairs that shape the hallway like a bunch of small hills. Beyond the broken fragments of stone that shield them off from the background, the heroes can see old stone buildings standing far away, silhouetted against darkness.

The group continues left through another doorway and they enter a large underground room, filled with buildings and fallen pillars. Some steps descend from the center of the area downward, away from the buildings, until they become submerged underwater. In the center of the town is an old, disused fountain, surrounded by a quartet of light posts. Yep, it's the same area from the Introduction. The group hops over a fallen pillar and goes over to a building with a locked door.

X-NAUT: There's the entrance. *turns to Parakete* If you don't mind just waiting around here for a while…

PARAKETE: Oh, hey, don't you worry about me, X-dude! I'll just sit tight until you come back.

X-NAUT: Thanks.

X-Naut unlocks the door, goes into the building with Yuxette, and locks it again. He and Yuxette mysteriously reemerge from a door in the X-Naut Fortress. They walk around Sublevel 2, talking to other X-Nauts. Then they go into Sir Grodus's room.

X-NAUT: Uh, ahem! *salutes* Sir Grodus! I have returned from that special mission!

GRODUS: *turns to X-Naut* I see. You are the X-Naut who told me someone else was after the Crystal Stars, correct?

X-NAUT: Umm, yes, sir!

GRODUS: Well, I congratulate you on a job well done, soldier. The news you gave me was quite…helpful. For that, you have passed your first field test. I see I was not mistaken when I said you had great promise within you.

X-NAUT: Uh…yeah… Grodus, may I ask a question?

GRODUS: Of course.

X-NAUT: When I contacted you on my Mailbox DS, I saw Princess Peach. What was she doing here?

GRODUS: Let's just say that the princess will be staying with us for some time. Now why don't you go find your chief? He has just been released from probation.

X-NAUT: …Umm, OK. Roger, sir. *salutes, turns, and leaves the room with Yuxette*

* * *

 **Prelude Part 2**

X-Naut and Yuxette are back in the Sublevel 2 hallway. Almost as soon as they leave Grodus's room, a familiar voice shouts to them.

VOICE: There you two are!

X-NAUT & YUXETTE: **!**

CHIEF: *walks over to them* So, did you hear? I'm off probation now! Which means…heh heh…I'm in charge of you again! And boy, do I have a job for you! *walks to some nearby doors* Inside the locker room, there's a bunch of X-Naut uniforms on the floor that need to be picked up and tossed into the laundry cart! *turns to X-Naut* And there's no better X-Naut for the duty than you! So get to it! *walks away*

X-Naut and Yuxette stare after the chief for a bit before entering the locker room. The room has four lockers in the back left corner of the room and two changing stalls in the back right corner. A small table and a couple more canisters sit against the left wall, with a large laundry cart sitting in between the table and the lockers. Other than that, the only things in the room are dozens of empty X-Naut uniforms that almost cover the whole floor.

X-Naut collects every one of the uniforms and puts them into the laundry cart. Once that is done, the chief comes in, pushing another laundry cart, this one already full of uniforms.

CHIEF: Good! I see you're done with that chore. Now I want you to fold and hang every one of these clean uniforms into those lockers!

As the chief pushes the cart with the dirty uniforms out of the room, X-Naut and Yuxette start taking out the other uniforms and putting them in the lockers.

X-NAUT: Man…this stinks…literally. These clean uniforms aren't much better than the dirty ones.

YUXETTE: *gathering uniforms on top of her head* Yux. (Yeah, really.)

X-Naut takes uniforms off of Yuxette's head, folds them, and hangs them. Finally, the laundry cart is empty. Just then, the chief comes back in, pushing the same cart of dirty uniforms.

CHIEF: Bad news. The laundry machine broke down and had to be removed. Fortunately, though… *pulls out a water basin and scrub board* I found these relics in a stash of old junk. They'll do the job just fine, I'm sure! *throws basin and board on the floor and faces X-Naut* Well, time for you to do some old-fashioned laundry work, X-Naut! Start scrubbing! *leaves*

X-Naut and Yuxette just stare at the old washing artifacts and the cart full of the dirty uniforms they picked up earlier.

X-NAUT: Dang… I hope Parakete isn't getting tired of waiting for us…

YUXETTE: Yux! Yux! (Forget this old-school labor! I'm getting out of here!)

X-NAUT: What? But Yuxette, we can't just neglect our chores…and stuff…

YUXETTE: Yux. (We'll just take a short break with Parakete.)

X-NAUT: But…if the chief finds out…

YUXETTE: Yux! (If we visit the stylish stooge for just a little bit and come back here quickly, no one will know we were gone!)

X-NAUT: Sounds a bit risky…

YUXETTE: Yux. (I'm going.) *goes*

X-NAUT: Ah…crud. Wait up, Yuxette!

They both leave the locker room with the laundry cart, the water basin, and the scrub board sitting there, untouched. After several seconds of silence, the chief comes back in.

CHIEF: *looks around* **?**

Back at Rogueport Sewers, X-Naut and Yuxette exit the same building that they originally entered through. Parakete is nowhere to be found.

YUXETTE: Yux! Yux! (Oh no! He's gone!)

X-NAUT: I know! But where did he go?

YUXETTE: Yux… (Let's look around and see…)

X-Naut and Yuxette look around the underground town and talk to some folks. A Goomba says he saw a Paratroopa entering Herb T.'S place. The two take a stone elevator directly in front of the fountain. The lift rises up to a higher ledge, where two of the four buildings are. They go into the left building and find a place with two wooden tables and a counter with a shelf behind it. Sitting behind the counter is a mustached Toad, polishing glasses. The customers include a pink Bob-omb, a Bandit, a tubby blue-coated bald buy with swirling glasses, and Parakete.

X-NAUT: Parakete?

PARAKETE: *turns to X-Naut* Oh, hey! X-dude! I was wondering when you'd show up!

X-NAUT & YUXETTE: *go to the table where Parakete is*

PARAKETE: You should try the Chuckola Cola here, man! It's awesome! And this place isn't half-bad, either. I think I just discovered a new hangout!

X-NAUT: Uh, yeah, that's great, Parakete! We just came to see how you were doing. You seem to be doing just fine.

PARAKETE: Am I ever! And you see that crazy-looking guy over there? *turns to the bald, grinning guy* His name's Wonky. He looks weird, but he knows all kinds of stuff! Seriously!

X-NAUT: …Um, OK then.

PARAKETE: *turns to X-Naut* Say, X-dude, you're looking for the Crystal Stars, aren't you?

X-NAUT: Well, yes. Or, not me exactly, but the organization I work for is.

PARAKETE: Cool. Anyways, you got any idea where the next Crystal Star could be?

X-NAUT: Well, without the Magical Map, we don't really have a way of finding them. I know that there was that one in Hooktail Castle, and there's also one in Boggly Woods.

PARAKETE: There is? Why aren't we looking for it, then?

X-NAUT: I wouldn't bother. There's already an X-Naut excavation there, searching for the Crystal Star. I think they've got it covered.

PARAKETE: Oh. That's kind of a bummer, then. We have nothing to do then. **!** Unless… X-dude, have you seen Rogueport yet?

X-NAUT: No, not yet.

PARAKETE: Perfecto! Why don't I take you on a tour? I've been to Rogueport before. It'll be fun! C'mon, let's go!

YUXETTE: Yux! Yux! (I'm all for it! Let's go!)

X-NAUT: …Sigh…

The three leave the place and head through the archway in the left side of town. In the next room, there are two enemies, a Spinia and a Spania, a couple of stone platforms that act like a seesaw when stepped on, and a pipe that goes aboveground. The trio takes the pipe up to the surface.

 **C** **H** **A** **P** **T** **E** **R** **2**  
 **THE TICKET TO ROGUES**

 **Part 1: Rogueport**

X-Naut, Yuxette and Parakete emerge from the pipe. They are in a small, slightly barricaded area filled with flowers. A cement path cuts through the garden, with a multilayered fountain on the side. Outside the stone barricade are some streets forming a four-way intersection that is lined with lampposts. On one corner of the intersection is a pair of two-story houses. Next to the houses, across the street, is a very tall building and a shop. Across the street from there, in the southwest corner is a billboard, attended by a very plump brown Bob-omb. The garden is in the southeast corner, where X-Naut and company are taking in the sights.

PARAKETE: Well, this is Rogueport, X-dude! We're on the west side.

X-NAUT: Nice.

PARAKETE: Yep, this is definitely the nicer side of Rogueport. The east side is pretty rough.

VOICE: Hey! Get back here, you!

X-NAUT, YUXETTE & PARAKETE: *turning towards the voice* **!**

A Bandit, dressed in green clothes and wearing a red band over his white mask, is seen running down the street. Two yellow Piantas dressed in business suits and black shades are chasing him. One gets ahead of the Bandit and cuts him off, and the other one blocks the Bandit from the opposite direction. The Piantas punch the lights out of the Bandit and flatten him against the ground.

BANDIT: Yeowch!

1st PIANTA: Dat'll teach you to steal from da boss!

2nd PIANTA: You're lucky dis time, pal. If it had been da boss himself, you woulda ended up a lot worse.

1st PIANTA: We better not catcha stealin' on our turf again, punk!

The Piantas take a piece of paper from the Bandit and run off, leaving him there.

PARAKETE: Whoa! What a beating, huh? Think that fellow's OK? Well, that's Rogueport for you. Even the peaceful side isn't very peaceful.

The trio of heroes hops off the pipe and checks out the Bandit. The dirty fellow gets to his feet and looks around. On closer inspection, X-Naut sees that one of his eyebrows is cocked and that he has several patches in his clothing.

PARAKETE: Hey, dude! You OK?

BANDIT: Huh? Who are you three? And why are you looking at me like that?

X-NAUT: Umm, we were just checking to see how you were.

BANDIT: Well, I'm just fine! And you, uh, didn't see anything! Understand?

X-NAUT: Uh, no.

BANDIT: Just forget I was ever here, OK? And now, if you'll pardon me, I must be off. *runs off*

YUXETTE: *looking on after him* Yux… (What a weird guy…)

PARAKETE: What a weird guy. Why don't you think he wants us watching him? Maybe we could go…spy on him and see what he's all about!

X-NAUT: Um, wouldn't that be invading privacy or something?

PARAKETE: *turns to X-Naut* C'mon, don't you want some adventure?

X-NAUT: I thought we were going on a tour.

PARAKETE: Oh yeah…the tour thingy. Well, I already told you about this place, so let's go somewhere else!

After spending some time in western Rogueport, the gang heads east and arrives in the wide area of central Rogueport, the place X-Naut White visited before.

PARAKETE: OK, this is central Rogueport. This place is pretty popular, but I'm not digging that gallows, see? Stuff like that ain't too attractive. Still, this place is…pretty popular, y'know… 'Cause of the sea trade and…stuff. Anyways, there's an inn and some shops and even a kitchen… I wonder if the Chuckola Cola here is as good as it is underground… Let's check out the inn, X-dude!

X-Naut checks out the central area before heading into the inn. Inside is Podley, polishing glasses behind the counter. A Squeek and a Bob-omb sailor sit at a table, shooting breezes with each other. At another table is a yellow man with a pointed nose, purple, curled hair, and a fancy red getup. Sitting on the table is a red gem shaped like a skull.

MAN: Theee skull captain Caasts his gaaaaaze Theeee red jewellll Shiiiiines and plaaays It's a booom bassa boom Festivaaal!

X-Naut and his friends ignore the man's tenacious singing and head up the stairs to the second floor of the inn. The room has two beds, a registration counter with a book and a quill pen, and a bucket placed underneath a leaking spot on the ceiling. A Toad woman stands near the registration counter while an elderly Toad man with small specs, a royal garment and a mushroom cane stands near the beds. X-Naut and Yuxette speak with the Toad man while Parakete heads back downstairs to get a drink.

TOAD: Oh! Excuse me, good sir, but would you happen to know where Princess Peach is?

X-NAUT & YUXETTE: **?**

TOAD: Oh! Pardon me; I was a bit hasty there. Ahem! My name is Toadsworth, and I am the head retainer at the Mushroom Kingdom castle. I was on a short trip here with Princess Peach, the ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom. I took my eyes off her for only a second, I tell you, and then she was gone! Who knows what trouble she could get into in this wretched town… I must ask you…do you have any idea whatsoever of the princess's whereabouts?

X-NAUT & YUXETTE: …

TOADSWORTH: Oh! How forgetful of me! I understand how far from the kingdom's capital you must live. You probably don't have the slightest clue what the princess looks like! Ho ho ho… Anyhoo, she wears a pink dress and a jeweled crown…oh, and she has brilliant blonde hair, as well. There's no mistaking her. If you see her, you should know right away.

X-NAUT: Yeah, I guess we would…

TOADSWORTH: So, do keep an eye out for her, would you? I am sorry to ask this of you, but I've been absolutely fraught with worry since she disappeared! I don't know how much longer I'll be able to last…

X-NAUT: Yeah, we'll…we'll keep an eye out…

TOADSWORTH: Oh, thank you! Thank you ever so much!

X-NAUT: Sure thing… *walks away with Yuxette* He doesn't know?

YUXETTE: Yux… Yux… (Guess not… And he's the head retainer…)

X-NAUT: If he doesn't know, then I wonder if…

YUXETTE: Yux… (Anybody knows…besides the X-Nauts…)

X-Naut and Yuxette walk down the stairs to Podley's Place. Midway down the stairs, they overhear someone talking. They look over the railing and see a light blue Pianta with a white business suit and rectangular blue shades talking on a phone. **Author's Note (2006):** "While the Pianta is talking, the man is still singing. His words are shown in red-orange."

PIANTA: So yeah…I need a boat ride…

MAN: Theee 'Stache brooothers

PIANTA: …And make it quick, why don'tcha?

MAN: Besssssst of frieeeeends

PIANTA: …Oh, where?

MAN: Threeee times Red 'Stache

PIANTA: …Well, hadn't thought of dat…

MAN: Lands onnnnn his ennnnd

PIANTA: …Anywhere, I guess…

MAN: Blue 'Stache's belllllllly

PIANTA: …Oh, really?

MAN: Four times is whacked

PIANTA: …Oh, OK. Dat's cool.

MAN: Now all the fiiiiireworks

PIANTA: …Yeah, butter biscuit will love dat…

MAN: Booooom and craaaaack

PIANTA: …Hold on a sec… *turns around*

MAN: It's a boom bassa boom

PIANTA: Hey you! Shut up! *throws something*

MAN: Festivallll— *gets hit* Ow! Hey! How dare you hit Flavio, the richest man in—

PIANTA: *turns back around* Sorry 'bout dat. Anyways…you were sayin'…OK, Rogueport Harbor, twenty minutes, got it. …Yeah, I got da reservation…Uh-huh…yep…OK, danks. We owe ya one. *puts away phone and leaves the place*

MAN: Such insolence!

PARAKETE: *flies over to X-Naut* Hey X-dude! Guess what? I tried the Chuckola Cola here, and…get a load of this, man…it's just as good as the ones underground! These brewer dudes sure know their stuff!

X-NAUT: *still watching where the Pianta went* …

PARAKETE: …Guess what else, X-dude?

X-NAUT: *snaps back to attention* Huh? Oh, what?

PARAKETE: You know that Bandit guy we saw earlier? Well, some dude said he saw the guy run to the east side of Rogueport.

X-NAUT: Oh… That's the rough side of town, isn't it?

PARAKETE: Yeah.

YUXETTE: Yux! (Let's track him down!)

PARAKETE: What did Yuxette say?

X-NAUT: …She said, "Let's track him down!"

PARAKETE: Right on, dude! …Wait, Yuxette is a girl?!

X-NAUT: Uh, yeah…

PARAKETE: Oh… Well then, right on, dudette! Let's go!

The three leave the inn and head to eastern Rogueport.

* * *

 **Author's Note (2006):** It's time for another support conversation! ...Or Tales skit, however you look at it. This is the first one between X-Naut and Parakete.

PARAKETE: Yo, X-dude!

X-NAUT: *turns to Parakete* Hm? What is it?

PARAKETE: Nothing, just asking what's up!

X-NAUT: Oh…nothing, really.

PARAKETE: …You know, X-dude, I think you gotta learn what it means to be "cool".

X-NAUT: Huh?

PARAKETE: See, when somebody says, "What's up!" to you, they aren't lookin' for an actual answer. I mean, well, it's like a greeting, man. "Wazzup!"

X-NAUT: OK…

PARAKETE: Don't tell me you didn't know that!

X-NAUT: Well…um, I have a lot of things to get used to.

PARAKETE: Oh yeah? Well, if you want to learn to be cool, look no further than me, the Parakeister yo!

X-NAUT: …

PARAKETE: Tell you what… As long as we're here in town, let's check out the clothes pads! We gotta get you some hip threads to replace those old rags you always carry around!

X-NAUT: …My uniform? …Uh…I don't know…I don't think I've ever taken it off.

PARAKETE: Are you serious?! We got some serious work to do, then! Stick with me, X-dude! I'll teach you how to be "cool"!

X-NAUT: …

* * *

 **Part 2: The Robbo Thieves**

Eastern Rogueport looks the same as it did when X-Naut White visited. There are still the two wooden houses, one of them belonging to Professor Frankly.

PARAKETE: This is east Rogueport. Yep, you can tell just by looking how bad it is. Lots of thieves hang out here. You see that big stone wall? On the other side of that, I've heard, is where the thieves stash their goodies and stuff. You can bet it's probably roughest back there. But you know, that's probably where that Bandit dude went. So let's check it out!

X-Naut and company venture into the house next door to Frankly's. There is virtually nothing inside except for a star-designed floor and a smooth table with a crystal ball resting on top. Standing behind the table is a man with a large, bushy, white mustache and a light blue cloak with a green button. His yellow eyes stare at X-Naut as he stands at the other side of the table.

MERLON: Welcome to the home of Merlon, the super-magician. I foresaw your arrival. I can aid you, if you wish. With three Shine Sprites, I can power up your partners. Of course, that means I boost their Attack power, but I also throw in a new move for free. So… Which partner would you like me to power up?

X-Naut chooses Yuxette.

MERLON: Shall I power up this partner?

X-NAUT: Yes. *gives Merlon three Shine Sprites he found in Chapter 1*

MERLON: Then let us begin! *uses Shine Sprites* SHA-ZIBBY!

The crystal ball levitates into the air and glows with a bright, purple light.

MERLON: SHA-ZOOBY!

The walls and ceiling of the house disappear, and for a moment it looks as if the floor is spinning around in outer space. The orb flashes out waves of light as X-Naut and his friends stare at it, amazed. Eventually the ball seems to explode in a showery burst of white sparks and suck them back up. Yuxette glimmers with a newfound power.

YUXETTE: *smiles and waves tendrils happily*

MERLON: Then you may go!

 **Author's Note (2006):** "In future chapters, when a partner is powered up, I won't explain it in detail; I'll just briefly mention it." So after that, X-Naut heads outside and goes to the opening in the stone wall, which is guarded by the Craw called Gus.

GUS: Whoa! Whoa! Hold up, now! You're an outsider! Past this point is the turf of Ishnail, head of the Robbos. It's 10 coins to pass through. You try to pass without paying, and I'm afraid I'll have to whip you but good.

PARAKETE: We can take you, punk!

GUS: What? You gotta be kidding. You think you can fight your way past here? I'm gonna make you eat your words, tough guy! Let's get this party started!

 _BATTLE MODE ENTERED!_

X-Naut and Parakete vs. Gus.

X-Naut used Tackle Slam! NICE! Gus just lost 2 HP!

Parakete used Shell Toss! Also NICE! Gus lost 2 more HP!

Gus used Spear Throw! Ouch! Parakete lost 2 HP!

X-Naut switched his partner to Yuxette.

Yuxette used Laser Ring! NICE shot! Gus -3 HP!

Gus used Spear Charge! NICE Guard! X-Naut lost 2 HP!

X-Naut switched places with Yuxette. Yuxette used her newest ability, Triplicate! By giving up 3 FP, Yuxette created two Mini-Yuxes at the same time!

X-Naut used Power Slam! -2 FP. NICE one! Gus got 4 HP knocked out of him! Only 9 remaining!

Gus Spear Charged Yuxette! The Mini-Yux took the attack! Still one left!

Yuxette used Laser Ring! NICE one, Yuxette! You're getting really good! Gus -3 HP!

X-Naut used his newest special move, Seismic Wave! X-Naut holds his fists in the air and they begin absorbing frequencies of magnetic waves. NICE! X-Naut's gloves increase in size slightly as they absorb the next frequency. GOOD! X-Naut's gloves begin sparkling. Next wave is absorbed! GREAT! X-Naut's gloves are glowing now. X-Naut failed to acquire the next energy level, so he begins the attack as he is. He slaps his hands down on the ground, and magnetic waves course through the stage, zapping Gus and taking away 4 HP!

Gus threw his spear at Yuxette! The other Mini-Yux took the attack!

X-Naut switched back to the front line and tackled Gus, blowing his last 2 HP out of him!

 _BATTLE MODE END!_

GUS: CRUD! You dumb video-game heroes ALWAYS pull this stuff! It's RIDICULOUS! You think violence solves everything, don't you? Huh? DON'T YOU?! *runs away*

X-Naut, Yuxette and Parakete go through the gate and look around the other half of eastern Rogueport. The dirty water that rushes through the area is especially noticeable here, since there's a bridge that leads across the river to just one house. In between two nearby houses, X-Naut sees some footprints going in, so he turns into Paper Mode and slips through with his friends. They emerge in a back alley, where they find a building hidden behind the first two.

Inside, there's a snail-person wearing an orange cap, a green jacket with a yellow shirt underneath, and some round black glasses. Also in the house are a couple of Craws—including Gus himself—and the same Bandit from earlier.

ISHNAIL: You want somethin', chump? This is the fortress of the Robbo Thieves. You lost? What business brings a chump like you to a place like this? Say it ain't vacation.

BANDIT: *walks forward* Hey! You again? Did you follow me here?

ISHNAIL: *turns to the Bandit* Eh? Bandana, you know these chumps?

BANDANA: Uh, no, not really, Ishnail. Well, I met 'em once…

PARAKETE: There he is! That's the Bandit dude who got stomped by the Piantas!

BANDANA: Noooo! Tattletales!

ISHNAIL: What? You got beaten up by them dirty Piantas again? Tell me you didn't try to steal from them again! And bungled it up! Again!

BANDANA: Hmph. Yes, Ishnail.

ISHNAIL: Cripes! Bandana, you're so useless…

BANDANA: It was just a blimp ticket I was trying to steal. No big deal.

ISHNAIL: A blimp ticket? You mean that blimp that goes to Glitzville? The city where all the best brawlers fight it out for the sake of bein' the champ?

BANDANA: Yep, the very one. I was hoping to maybe enter as a fighter and send the fight money I earned over to here, to help you guys out.

ISHNAIL: While that's mighty thoughtful of you, you're still the world's biggest bungler! Can't you do anything right?

BANDANA: Ulp! I, uh, try to…

PARAKETE: Hmm… Didn't really mean to cause all that trouble. But, seeing as that's all settled… Umm, Ishnail, is it? You seem like you're a dude who knows the town pretty well, so… Know anything about the Crystal Stars?

ISHNAIL: *turns to Parakete* What? Crystal Stars? You mean like them things in that old fairy tale? You gotta be nuts, askin' me about those things! I don't know nothin' about 'em, considerin' they even exist!

BANDANA: Huh? Crystal…Stars…?

Everyone turns to look at the Bandit.

BANDANA: Now that you mention it, there's something on the champ's belt in Glitzville that kind of looks like a star made out of crystal.

X-NAUT: Really?

PARAKETE: Bingo! That must be a Crystal Star! In Glitzville, too! Wow!

ISHNAIL: Bandana, you loudmouth! I would've charged them for info like that!

BANDANA: Ooops, sorry, Ishnail.

ISHNAIL: I've heard enough out of that trap of yours for one day! *turns to X-Naut, Yuxette and Parakete* And don't get your hopes up yet, you chumps! You need to take a blimp to get to Glitzville, 'cause the city floats in the sky!

YUXETTE: Yux? Yux… (It does? Cool…)

X-NAUT: Fine, I guess we'll just have to get one.

ISHNAIL: Sorry, Bigshot. All the tickets sold out already.

PARAKETE: What? There's not a single ticket left? …Man, that bites. There has to be SOMEWHERE we can get a ticket!

ISHNAIL: …Well, there's always someone who runs through the tickets, but the only person who does that around here…is that lyin', cheatin', stealin', no-good jerky-for-brains, Don Pianta!

X-NAUT: Who's he?

ISHNAIL: He's the leader of that cursed Pianta syndicate, the root of all greed an' selfishness! Most of us thieves end up poor as dirt, never catchin' a break 'cause of that guy! He even demands protection money from us!

X-NAUT: So…how do we get to meet him?

ISHNAIL: What?! Now you want to meet up with that crumb? Even after all I've told you?

X-NAUT: Yep.

ISHNAIL: Fine, Mr. Insensitive Jerk. I'll tell you how to meet up with Don Scumbag. But it will cost you 64 coins! No way around it, this time!

X-NAUT: 64 coins? …I don't have that much.

ISHNAIL: Then get lost, chump! You've spent enough time here, anyway!

The group leaves the hideout and turn to each other.

PARAKETE: Tough luck, man. That Ishnail's a cheap old snail… Oh well. Better luck next time, huh? We'll check out Glitzville some other day.

YUXETTE: Yux! (But…a Crystal Star!)

PARAKETE: *turns around* Now, where were we before this jamboree started…? Oh yeah, the tour. So, uh, let's check out the rest of this town, X-dude. This way, man.

After they slip back through the crack and emerge in front of the two houses, X-Naut gets an e-mail.

MESSAGE:

 **XNDM Premiere Issue**

X-NAUT FORTRESS TODAY

Providing you with all the inside information as it reveals itself!

We now have details about a new potion that was recently perfected by a team of X-Naut PhDs. Named the 'Fire Potion' after its burning side-effect, the concoction has now become an essential form of self-defense among the top X-Nauts.

The leader of the PhD team was quoted as saying, 'Due to the properties of our newest success, we can assure you that this potion is, quite literally, our hottest product as of late!'

SHOP REPORTER GO!

Our secret coverage covers all of the world's best shopping spots and sees what makes them tick!

Recently, our spies have had their eyes all over the town of Petalburg, with one target: Niff T.'s shop! This shop has apparently been successful for the last 20 years! How has the owner done it? When questioned, Niff T. had this to say. 'You live only once, so enjoy it while you can! Shop now at good old Niff T.'s shop!'

What could the concept of living have to do with this shop owner's success? When Niff T. was about to be questioned more, another news crew appeared, and the spies had to skedaddle. The secret to eternal shopping happiness has eluded us this time, but we'll be back!

COOKING FOR ROOKIES

So you want to take up cooking to feed the organization? Get practice tips from the amazing Chef X!

Today's Yummy Recipe: Fried Shrooms!  
Just take any ordinary mushroom, heat it over the Bunsen burner, sauté it up, add seasoning, and whalah! Ze fried shrooms are tres magnifique!

EDITOR'S NOTE

That concludes the premiere issue of the XNDM Service! We hope the knowledge suited you well. Now go out there and face your mission…wiser!

**************************************  
Published by the X-Ray Today Committee  
**************************************

After reading the message, X-Naut goes into the house on his right. The house is completely empty except for a large billboard on the wall, a light bulb on the ceiling, and a small opening in the wall that has a black and white-striped curtain draped behind. When X-Naut checks the opening, a voice speaks from behind it.

VOICE: Hey. Is this your first time to the Trouble Center? If you plan on using our services, I can explain them to you first. Need an explanation?

X-NAUT: Yes.

VOICE: Then listen and listen good! This Trouble Center is where people come with troubles. That's why it's named that. If you want to see the kinds of troubles people have, check that bulletin board. If you're a nice guy, you'll choose someone and try to help them out. If not, not. Help someone out and they'll give you a reward, probably. Not a bad deal, eh? But remember! If you decide not to solve a trouble, you have to pay to cancel. You got that? Good. Then go help someone out!

X-Naut looks at the bulletin board and looks at all the slips of paper that list the details of each trouble. He finds one called, "Important Thing" by a client called Frankie.

MESSAGE: Dere's somethin' I lost, and it needs to be found right away! It's desperate, and a bit of a secret, so I'd like to explain everything at da harbor.

YUXETTE: Yux… (This sounds kind of familiar…)

VOICE: Do you want to take on this trouble?

X-NAUT: Yes.

VOICE: Do it and do it right!

* * *

 **Part 3: The Pianta Syndicate**

X-Naut and his friends head back to central Rogueport. From there, they travel southward to the harbor.

PARAKETE: OK, this is the harbor. This where boats come in and do stuff. Lots of sailors here. Yep. That's about all there is to this place.

After stepping down some stairs from a patched-up ledge, X-Naut and co. look for this "Frankie" through all of the Bob-omb and Toad sailors. The gang walks past some stacked barrels and find two Piantas standing by the water's edge. One of them is a female dressed in a sunbonnet and a white, collared dress. The other is the Pianta with dark blue shades and the white suit.

YUXETTE: Yux! Yux? (Hey! Isn't that the same guy from the inn?)

X-NAUT: Yeah, he is. I wonder if he's the one with the trouble…

PARAKETE: That girl Pianta looks kinda cute.

The three go over to the Piantas and speak with them.

X-NAUT: Hey… Is one of you named Frankie?

PIANTA: Dat would be me.

X-NAUT: I got your trouble.

FRANKIE: Oh, really? Good timing. I'm in a bit of a jam here…

PARAKETE: *to the female Pianta* Yo. Name's Parakete.

PIANTA: Well, isn't that a cute name!

PARAKETE: Yep. It's kind of lonely, though.

PIANTA: How come?

PARAKETE: Because it's not accompanied by your name!

PIANTA: Oh… How clever! Tee hee! My name's Francesca.

PARAKETE: Good name. So, now that we're clear on introductions…

FRANKIE: *turns to Parakete* Hey, pal. Are you hitting on my girl?

PARAKETE: *turns to Frankie* What?! YOUR girl?!

FRANKIE: Dat's right. We're startin' our own lives together.

FRANCESCA: Oh, Frankie… You don't have to be so protective of me.

FRANKIE: But, sweet pea… It's just a side effect of love, honey.

FRANCESCA: Oh, Frankie… Tee hee hee!

PARAKETE: …Maaaaaaaan… *flies back to X-Naut*

FRANKIE: *turns back to X-Naut* Oh yeah, da trouble. OK, here's da thing… Francesca and I are…gonna take a little boat trip together. I made all da preparations and everything, but… I found out once I got here dat I was missing da reservation. I know I had da reservation right in my hand… Somehow, I musta dropped it and didn't notice. I need yous to find it for us, and make it quick! Da boat's gonna arrive in twenty minutes, or so I've been told.

X-NAUT: What does it look like?

FRANKIE: It's just a card. I know I had it in my hand when I was makin' da call in da inn… But when I got to da harbor, it was gone.

FRANCESCA: Frankie, how could you lose that thing? Doesn't our escape mean anything to you?

FRANKIE: *turns to Francesca* Of course it does, puddin' pie. I would never be so careless to lose something like dat! Never!

FRANCESCA: But you did! Oh, Frankie…don't you love me?

FRANKIE: Of course I love you, sugar cookie…

FRANCESCA: Really? …Then let me hear you say it 10 times!

FRANKIE: 10 times? Do ya really need da reassurance dat badly, bacon burger?

FRANCESCA: *turns away* If you truly love me, you'll say it 10 times!

FRANKIE: …All right, anything for you, candy tart… I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! …Dere, I said it 10 times.

FRANCESCA: *turns to Frankie* Oh, Frankie… Tee hee hee!

FRANKIE: Eh-heh… *turns to X-Naut* So…can you hurry up and find dat reservation?

X-NAUT: Yeah, sure thing.

The three heroes walk up the steps that lead to central Rogueport when Yuxette pipes up.

YUXETTE: Yux? (Those two seem to be making a big deal about one boat ride, don'tcha think?)

X-NAUT: …Maybe.

YUXETTE: Yux? (So, where do you think Frankie left his thingy?)

The trio walks through central Rogueport and returns to the inn, the place that Frankie last had the card. They look around Podley's Place, eventually talking to the singing man.

MAN: Ah! What are you doing? Sneaking up on a person as he sings most jovially! …Who, me, you ask about? Ah! I am called Flavio. I am, how you say? A trader. The richest man in Rogueport.

PARAKETE: Hey, dude, you wouldn't have happened to see some card lying around, have you?

FLAVIO: Hm? What is this you say? A card? Well… *holds up a shiny card* There is this!

PARAKETE: Whoa, where'd you find that?

FLAVIO: Some rascally blue Pianta threw it at me while I was singing! The nerve of him! Flavio will not forget that disrespectful act!

X-NAUT: Well, um, we need it back.

FLAVIO: What is this? You say this card is yours?

PARAKETE: Yeah, whatever. Just hand it over.

FLAVIO: Hmm… This is a reservation, is it not? A luxurious getaway cruise, no less! Taking a vacation, are you? Well…I don't believe there's any reason for me to keep this… Flavio already owns the finest ship in the sea! Why waste money on a cruise? So anyways, here is your card back. *gives card to X-Naut*

X-Naut obtains the Reservation Card and goes back to the harbor.

FRANKIE: Hey, isn't dat the card?

X-NAUT: *gives Frankie the Reservation Card*

FRANKIE: Aw, yeah! Dat's it! We've got da reservation back!

FRANCESCA: Oh Frankie, was there ever any doubt? Tee hee!

FRANKIE: … Anyways, thanks for solving my trouble…uh, what did you say your name was?

X-NAUT: It's…X-Naut.

FRANKIE: Got it. Weird name, but I got it. Sorry to tell you this, pal, but…I don't exactly have a reward to give ya.

PARAKETE: What?

FRANKIE: Baby cakes and I were sort of in a big hurry to catch this ride, so we didn't bring anything worthy of giving out as a reward. We didn't know we'd have to go crawling to the Trouble Center for help at da time.

PARAKETE: So…we get no reward? That blows!

FRANKIE: Again, sorry 'bout dat.

YUXETTE: Yux! Yux! (Wait! I think I have an idea!)

X-NAUT: *turns to Yuxette* What is it, Yuxette?

YUXETTE: Yux? (Frankie is dressed like those Piantas we saw on the west side, right?) Yux! (If he's in league with them, maybe he's part of the Pianta Syndicate!)

X-NAUT: *puts a hand on his chin* Yeah…so what's your point?

YUXETTE: Yux! (If he's part of the Pianta Syndicate, maybe he can tell us how to meet Don Pianta!)

X-NAUT: Hey...that's right! Ishnail certainly didn't help us, but maybe… *turns to Frankie* Um, excuse me… Do you know who Don Pianta is?

FRANKIE: …Yeah…he's my boss.

X-NAUT: Maybe…for a reward…you could tell us how to get in touch with him?

FRANCESCA: What? You want to meet Daddy? Why?!

PARAKETE: Daddy?

X-NAUT: I was hoping to get a ticket to the blimp that flies to Glitzville.

FRANKIE: Ah…I get it. Well, I gotta say, da boss isn't somebody you can just up and talk to. He's all about business, and if you get on his bad side… Well, just try not to. Anyway, since you helped us out, I'll tell you how to meet da boss…on one condition.

X-NAUT: What is it?

FRANKIE: If you meet da boss, you gotta swear not to tell him dat you saw Francesca and me here.

PARAKETE: Why not, man?

FRANKIE: We can't tell you. It's a guarded secret.

X-NAUT: …All right. I swear I won't tell them anything.

FRANKIE: Good. Now listen closely… *edges in close* To enter da office of da boss, you gotta go to da Westside Goods. Den you've gotta buy a Dried Shroom and a Dizzy Dial, in that order. Remember dat. Den, da receptionist will ask you what your favorite color is. You answer "yellow". Got dat? Yellow. See, "yellow" is da password dat'll get ya into contact wid' da boss. Got all dat?

X-NAUT: *nods*

FRANKIE: Good. Now get goin'.

X-Naut heads back to the west side of Rogueport and goes into the shop, the Westside Goods. Inside the brick store is a long counter filled with groceries, with a lineup of items sitting on top. Shelves stand along the wall behind the counter. X-Naut strolls across the patio-brick floor and picks out a Dried Shroom and a Dizzy Dial from the counter. The shopkeeper, a blue-tinted Boo girl with kitty ears and a red bow tie, receives X-Naut's payment for the items.

PEEKA: Aw, thanks so much! Yeah, yeah… Here we go. All righty, Mister. What's your favorite color?

X-NAUT: Yellow.

PEEKA: Yep. That's it. You check out. You know the password. So, um, you must be an acquaintance of Don Pianta! Good for you. *floats to a door on the far side of the shop, whispers something, and turns back to X-Naut* All right, you can go through the door. Go on with your bad self. *floats back to the counter*

X-Naut and his party go through the door and appear in a back alley. They go up a flight of stairs and enter another door. Inside is a classy pad that includes a wide green mat, two red chairs, some short cabinets, a bright chandelier, and a large oak desk. The two suits that beat up the Bandit, Vinny and Tony, stand in front of the cabinets along the side of the room. Sitting in front of the desk is Don Pianta himself, an orange, mustachioed Pianta with black shades, a black suit, and a black hat.

DON PIANTA: Eh? Who might you three be? An' whadda you doin' here? You're lucky to catch me in a good mood. You got somethin' to say? Say it, just don't spray it.

X-NAUT: Uh… We came here because we need a ticket to Glitzville.

DON: What? You want a… You want me to give you a ticket for da blimp? Oh ho ho! Dat's funny! You know why? It takes some guts to ask me for dat. I'm Don Pianta! I make bawlin' kids cry!

VINNY: *steps forward* You want I should arrange for a stretcher, Boss? Dis weirdo's askin' for one!

TONY: *steps forward* You like pain, funny guy? If not, you'd better not be lookin' for trouble like dis!

DON: Hold up, dere, boys. I like dis kid's gumption. He just came to talk, right? Dat ain't a crime. We don't even know these guys' story yet! So, you really want a ticket to Glitzville, fella? Badly?

X-NAUT: *nods*

DON: Well den, you gotta have a reason for wantin' to go to Glitzville. Tell me.

X-NAUT: Well, um, you see… I have my own boss, and, uh, he…really wants me to enter as a fighter and win that champ's belt.

DON: Is dat true?

PARAKETE: Sure is! So how's about it? Can we get ourselves a ticket?

DON: Well, I suppose I could give you dis here ticket… But what would I get in return, huh? You've gotta do a little favor for me before you get dis ticket!

X-NAUT: …Umm, OK, what's the favor?

DON: I dunno. I don't have anything dat needs to be done. You're da one who wants dis ticket, so you think of somethin'!

X-NAUT: …Uh, I can't…

PARAKETE: Nope, I've got nothing! So what happens?

DON: Nothing, eh? I'll tell you what happens, den! Boys, take 'em outta here!

VINNY: You got it, Boss!

The Piantas surround X-Naut, Yuxette, and Parakete, who start looking around frantically. A moment later, the front door of the Westside Goods opens, and the group of three is tossed out.

TONY: And stay out! *slams the door*

YUXETTE: *rises upward* Yux… (Ouchies…)

PARAKETE: *hovers above the ground* Man… That was brutal.

X-NAUT: *gets to his feet* Well, so much for that.

* * *

 **Part 4: New Strategy**

X-Naut and his gang walks back to the harbor, where Francesca and Frankie are still waiting for their ship. They turn their attention to X-Naut as he comes near.

FRANKIE: So, did you get a ticket from da boss?

X-NAUT: *shakes his head*

FRANKIE: Is dat so… He booted you out, eh? Sorry to hear dat.

FRANCESCA: Oh, Daddy! Why do you have to be so mean? …Um, did he mention anything about us? You didn't go back on your promise, did you?

X-NAUT: *shakes his head*

FRANCESCA: What a relief! Thank you so much!

PARAKETE: What's the big deal about you two and Don Pianta anyway? …Are you on the lam?

FRANKIE: No, it's…not like dat. Truthfully, Francesca and I have decided to elope.

FRANCESCA: *turns to Frankie* Frankie!

FRANKIE: It's OK, my little cheese and crackers. We can trust 'em. ...So yeah, dat's our secret. We reserved for da boat trip for dat reason, and we owe you our gratitude for helpin' us out. I don't think anyone else knows about dis yet, so keep a lid on it, will you?

X-NAUT: *nods*

VOICE: Hey, you!

EVERYONE: **!**

Everyone turns to the source of the voice on top of the battered ledge. The yellow and white figure of Jr. Troopa hops off of the ledge, falls on his face, and scrambles to his feet, jeering at X-Naut.

JR. TROOPA: It's me again, Jr. Troopa! I came here to search around Rogueport, 'cause that was my order. And look what I find! Not the person I was told to search for, but someone I still wanted to see!

PARAKETE: Yo, X-dude… You know this little man?

JR. TROOPA: You remember me, don't you, X-Naut guy? Don't tell me you'd forget a face like this!

X-NAUT: Uhh…

JR. TROOPA: Aha! See? Nobody can forget me! I make a lasting impression! Anyways, I haven't forgotten that beating you gave me back in Petal Meadows! Now it's payback time! *dashes forward*

 _BATTLE MODE ENTERED!_

X-Naut and Yuxette face off against Jr. Troopa for the second time.

JR. TROOPA: Hahahahahaha! Wait 'til you see this new trick up my sleeve! *withdraws into his eggshell* Hahahahaha! Like this solid defense? Let's see you damage me now, tough guy!

X-NAUT: *uses Tattle Log* That's Jr. Troopa. He's the nutcase that we battled before. I almost forgot about him... Max HP is 15, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. Looks like he's using that eggshell to defend himself… But it doesn't look too hard to penetrate. Let's just nail him and get this over with.

Yuxette uses Laser Ring! NICE! Jr. Troopa loses 2 HP!

Jr. Troopa uses Headbutt on X-Naut! NICE Guard! X-Naut -1 HP!

X-Naut Slams NICEly into Jr. Troopa, knocking out 1 HP!

Yuxette follows up with another Laser Ring, landing a NICE hit! Jr. Troopa loses 2 more HP!

Jr. Troopa Headbutts X-Naut once again, but X-Naut reduces the damage to 1 with another NICE Guard!

X-Naut goes behind Yuxette, who performs their defensive strategy using Triplicate! -3 FP, but now there are two Mini-Yuxes protecting Yuxette, who is defending X-Naut!

X-Naut crashes into Jr. Troopa with a Power Slam, NICEly dealing 3 damage to the juvenile Koopa! Just 7 HP left!

Jr. Troopa charges at Yuxette and smacks his eggshell into one of the Mini-Yuxes!

Yuxette readies her next attack and shoots another Laser Ring, which NICEly sends Jr. Troopa flying! -2 HP!

X-Naut uses an item called Thunder Bolt! A flash of lightning descends from the sky, striking Jr. Troopa and dealing 5 damage, defeating him!

 _BATTLE MODE END!_

JR. TROOPA: Uuuuuuurgh… I can't believe I just lost again… *collapses*

VOICE: Hey! You three! Over there!

X-Naut and his partners look past the dazed Jr. Troopa and see Ishnail standing on the docks with the Bandit at his side.

ISHNAIL: I gotta say, that was some beating! You got some skills, I see! You're the chump who's lookin' for Crystal Stars, right?

X-NAUT: *nods*

FRANKIE: *steps forward* Hey, you're Ishnail! Da leader of dem Robbos! What're you doin' here…in public?

ISHNAIL: *looks at Frankie* I was just about to ask you the same thing! Frankie, the number-two man in the Pianta Syndicate…on a stroll with his girlfriend?

FRANCESCA: *steps forward* Why, you… How dare you make fun of us! You're just jealous because a snobby little thief like yourself can't even dream of finding any love in the world! So you mock us! Hmph! I could just slap you right now!

ISHNAIL: Whoa, easy there, lady. I didn't come here to make fun of nobody. I just gotta have a word with these this fella… *walks over to X-Naut* So, if you're searching for them Crystal Stars, then you must do a lot of travelin', right? Then I have a favor to ask of you. Would you take this miserable excuse for a thief along with you? Yeah, I bet you know, but his name's Bandana. So far, he's screwed up every burglary he's ever attempted! So as a result, I'm sendin' him somewheres to get some discipline. I think it might help him and us Robbos if he spent some time away from Rogueport. But the guy wouldn't last two days on his own. And seein' as you both travel and fight, you might do him some good, too! So, will you take him off my hands?

X-NAUT: Sure, he can come along.

ISHNAIL: Excellent! Now go on, Bandana! Get lost…err…I mean, travelin'! And don't bother comin' back until you become a better thief! *walks off*

FRANKIE: Why that lousy… Someday, I'm gonna show dat guy who's boss.

BANDANA: *walks over to X-Naut* Uh, hi there, folks. Sorry about the whole…thing. Hope it doesn't bother you all.

X-NAUT: Nah, it's no bother. I'm sure if you stick with us, everything will be OK.

BANDANA: Eh? Really?

YUXETTE: Yux! (Really!)

PARAKETE: Sure thing! I could use some buds who aren't totally spaced out.

YUXETTE: Yux! Yux? (Hey! What's that supposed to mean?)

BANDANA: Well, gee, you guys are great! Thanks!

Bandana joined X-Naut's party! Bandana's Abilities: a Primer. Bandana can pull his bandana down over his eyes, allowing him to see the locations of items!

BANDANA: *pulls his second mask over his face and looks around* I spy with my little eye…nothing. Nothing at all.

A chest appears.

BANDANA: *looks around again and spots the chest* I spy… Gasp! It's an item! Let's grab it! NOW! *jumps at the chest*

The chest disappears, leaving Bandana to fall flat on his face. In battle, Bandana can attack enemies and steal a coin in the process with his Knock Off! He can also steal an enemy's item with his Pickpocket!

BANDANA: *gets back on his feet and turns to X-Naut* So, sorry about calling you a tattletale back then. So, umm, where are we headed? To Glitzville, right?

X-NAUT: Well, that was our plan, but we couldn't talk Don Pianta into giving us a ticket.

BANDANA: What? Don Pianta wouldn't give you a ticket? Oh, well that stinks. Well…since I'm with you now, we can always try to steal it!

FRANKIE: Nuh-uh. I know you. Da boss won't tolerate you stealin' from him anymore.

BANDANA: Yeah, I know. I was just kidding. I've already tried at least five times. But then again, I was always by myself back then. If we could just work together somehow… *looks around* Hey, um, what's-your-name? Well, since you have an X on your clothes there, how about I call you X-buddy? Yeah… This isn't exactly the best place to discuss a topic like this… So, know any places that we could…make plans without being caught?

PARAKETE: Sure is! It's down in Rogueport Sewers! I call it, "Our Number-One Hangout!"

BANDANA: Sounds good! So, just lead the way there!

X-Naut and his newly-enlarged party leave the harbor with Frankie and Francesca wishing them luck and Jr. Troopa still lying on the ground. They walk back through the central shopping area and to the west side. After dropping through the sewer grate in Paper Mode, the gang goes back to the underground town and enters Herb T.'s place.

BANDANA: Hey, this place! Good choice! These other customers are used to schemers like us. You know, 'cause usually people who live down here are usually ex-convicts or something along those lines…

PARAKETE: OK, enough with the lecture. Let's get planning!

The four take their seats at a table.

BANDANA: So the question is…how do we get a ticket from Don Pianta?

PARAKETE: Not the way we tried.

X-NAUT: Don Pianta said he won't give us a ticket unless we do something helpful for him. We couldn't think of anything.

BANDANA: Hmm… Then I guess we have no choice but to steal it from him! But how?

YUXETTE: Yux… (Maybe we could distract him with something…)

X-NAUT: …Maybe…but what does Don Pianta care about?

BANDANA: Huh? Did I miss something?

X-NAUT: Uh…this is my companion, Yuxette. She speaks in some kind of Yux language. For some reason, I can understand it.

BANDANA: Really? …Hi, Yuxette! Nice to meetcha!

YUXETTE: Yux! (Nice to meet you too!)

BANDANA: Well, since I just formally met somebody, I might as well get to know the rest of your names. What's yours? *points to Parakete*

PARAKETE: The name's Parakete, but weren't we talking about—

BANDANA: That's good! *looks at X-Naut* What's your name?

X-NAUT: X-Naut.

BANDANA: X-Naut? That's weird. I think I'll keep calling you X-buddy. Is that OK, X-buddy?

PARAKETE: I call him X-dude.

YUXETTE: Yux! (Let's stay on track, people!)

X-NAUT: Yes, let's. Now what were we talking about again?

VOICE: Uh huh huh huh huh huh! Trying to get at Don Pianta, are you?

X-NAUT, YUXETTE, PARAKETE & BANDANA: **!** *turn to the voice*

The old, balding man with crazy glasses, a wide grin, and a blue coat is standing behind them. He's the man that Parakete introduced as Wonky.

WONKY: Sorry, but I couldn't help overhearing your conversation. So, you're trying to get a ticket from Don Pianta? Well, I know something that guy cares about. Perhaps that information could help you. But of course, I won't tell it to you unless you pay me 5 coins!

X-NAUT: All right, I'll pay you. *gives Wonky 5 coins*

WONKY: I've heard that Don Pianta is an iron-fisted mob boss, but I also hear he has a daughter named Francesca. Don Pianta has a soft spot for his daughter. Why, I'm sure that if he thought Francesca was in trouble, he'd go running for her as fast as his legs could carry him!

BANDANA: We already know Francesca…but I didn't know Don Pianta cared so much for her.

PARAKETE: Fat chance we'll get her help. She said she was eloping with Frankie. …Sniff…

WONKY: There's more, too. I heard that, some time ago, someone fell in love with Francesca. However, his feelings weren't returned, and then, out of loneliness, he forged a badge. The rumors say that he gave that badge a sound effect…that sounds just like Francesca's voice! But he hid this badge down in the Pit of 100 Trials. Have you heard about it? It's a long, fierce pit that extends deep underground. It's dangerous, but on every 10th level, there's a reward. And that badge is one of those rewards! Er, so I've heard. And that…is…that! If there's anything else you need, just ask old Wonky!

X-NAUT: Going down all that way for a badge that just has Francesca's voice on it? Sounds kind of pointless to me…

YUXETTE: Yux! Yux! (X-Naut! Wonky just gave away a possible course of action!)

BANDANA: Hey, X-buddy… Is Yuxette thinking what I'm thinking?

X-NAUT: *turns to Bandana* Maybe.

YUXETTE: Yux! (Maybe we can use Francesca's voice as a diversion!) Yux! (If Francesca herself can't help us, maybe we can use the badge instead!)

X-NAUT: *nods* Yuxette says we can use the badge to distract Don Pianta, allowing us to steal the badge.

BANDANA: Hey, yeah… That's exactly what was thinking! …Sort of…

PARAKETE: OK, cool, cool, but how are going to do that?

BANDANA: Leave that to me! I may not be the greatest thief, but I'm a good planner! …I think. All right, listen up. This is what we're going to do…

The four schemers sit quietly at the table, discussing their plan in absolute secrecy.

* * *

 **Part 5: Trials of the Underground**

A few minutes later, the team of four exits from Herb T.'s place.

BANDANA: First of all, we need to get that badge. Which means, it's off to the Pit of 100 Trials!

X-NAUT: Gee, that…is one complicated plan.

PARAKETE: Complicated? I think it's just whacked-out!

BANDANA: Well, sure it's unusual, but it'll work! …I hope.

Since the path to the right of the town is blocked by a fallen pillar, X-Naut and his friends head left into the room with the seesaw platforms and the Spinias hanging out below. Not having anywhere else to go, X-Naut drops down from his ledge, battles a Spinia that attacks him, and takes the pipe up to western Rogueport. From there, the gang heads to east Rogueport and takes a pipe (which was exposed by Professor Frankly in the interlude) down to the other side of Rogueport Sewers.

X-Naut recognizes the area as the way he took to and from Petal Meadows. Instead of traveling down and up the series of steps that stretch ahead of him, X-Naut turns his attention to a nearby heap of crumbled walls. Connecting two of the short walls is an iron gate. Behind the rubble and the gate, X-Naut can see a green pipe that leads downwards. X-Naut slips through the gate bars in Paper Mode and goes sliding down the pipe.

X-Naut emerges on the second level of a new room. The second level is just a long walkway that overlooks the first level, with gates keeping anyone from falling off. X-Naut could slip through the bars in Paper Mode, but he decides to take a walk along the path. A Paragoomba spots him and attacks, but X-Naut and friends defeat it easily. Then they round a U-turn in the walkway and step down some stairs to the first level, which is just another path that travels alongside a river of sewer water. After defeating a Spiny Goomba, X-Naut has Yuxette blast open two item blocks, which contain a Volt Shroom and a Sleepy Sheep. Then X-Naut checks out the three alcoves in the wall. Two are blocked by gates, and the other one is blocked by a pair of medium-sized yellow blocks. Yuxette destroys them with her Laser Rings, but unlike the item boxes, these blocks require fully-charged shots to destroy. Once the two blocks are gone, another green pipe is revealed in the alcove.

The next room is very tall and filled with ledges of all sorts. To X-Naut's left is a high ledge with a giant yellow block sitting next to it. To the right is a wide expanse of room, with an even taller ledge in the upper-right corner. A smaller, yet unreachable ledge sticks out from it along the wall. X-Naut and his party battle the two Spinias in the room and check out the single alcove in the middle of the wall, next to the protruding ledge. It is also protected by bars, but it's not a problem when you have Paper Mode.

X-Naut follows the tunnel behind the bars until he finds himself in a room that has nothing in it except for a square ledge in the upper-left corner and a longer ledge with steps carved into it in the upper-right corner.

BANDANA: Well, it looks like we're at a dead end. What will we do now?

VOICE: Hey!

X-NAUT, YUXETTE, PARAKETE & BANDANA: **!** *turn to the source of the voice*

A Goomba girl with brown, braided hair seems to have just appeared on top of the ledge with stairs. She walks down the steps and faces X-Naut and his group.

GOOMBA: What are you doing here? Are you the ones who are threatening the Punies?

X-NAUT: What? Punies?

BANDANA: Just who are you?

GOOMBA: I just so happen to be someone who cares about nature…a lot. I like to go to Boggly Woods the most, where the Punies live.

X-NAUT: …Isn't that where…?

GOOMBA: But recently I heard that some scumbags are venturing into the woods and tearing up the Great Tree! *looks closely at X-Naut* Are you one of them? Surely you wouldn't find it in your heart to do something so cruel to nature, would you?

X-NAUT: Uh…n-no, of course not…

PARAKETE: Who cares about a bunch of tiny critters anyway?

GOOMBA: Ex-CUSE ME?!

YUXETTE: Yux. Yux. (Just ignore him. He doesn't know what he talks about.)

GOOMBA: Is that so… Well, then… *looks around* …Oh, great. Just great.

BANDANA: What's the matter?

GOOMBA: Looks like I lost something of mine. It's this pretty little locket, and it's REALLY important to me. *looks at the group* Are you thinking of doing something for me?

BANDANA: *steps forward* Yeah! We can help you locate your lost locket! We'll show you how honest we are!

YUXETTE: Yux… Yux… (An honest thief… How ironic…)

BANDANA: *whispers to X-Naut* We can drop our plan for a little while, can't we, X-buddy?

X-NAUT: Fine with me.

GOOMBA: Honest, huh? Well, then, if you truly want to help out, maybe this will help you. *runs back up the ledge and activates something*

A hidden passageway opens up between the two ledges. X-Naut climbs up the first ledge, enters the tunnel, and emerges on the opposite ledge. A blue switch sits there, which X-Naut activates with a stomp. Nothing seems to happen, but when X-Naut and co. exit the room and return to the tall hall, they find that the high ledge to the right has been stripped of its cover-up paper, revealing a staircase. X-Naut climbs up and finds a panel extending out from the ledge, as well as a doorway. Through the door, X-Naut finds an open black chest and a small locket in the corner of the room. X-Naut picks it up and obtains the Locket of Wisdom! He quickly returns to the room where the Goomba girl still stands on her ledge.

GOOMBA: Whoa! Did you find it? Wow… Oh, man, I owe you BIG!

X-NAUT: *hands over the Locket of Wisdom*

GOOMBA: YESSSSSSSSS! Thank… Ha! Thank NOTHING! Whee hee! Foooooools!

The Goomba transforms into purple wallpaper, just like the Toad at Hooktail Castle. X-Naut finds himself facing another spooky spirit.

SPIRIT: Boy, are you guys dense or what! You shouldn't be so eager to help a perfect stranger! Just because you're honest doesn't mean they are! Allow me to set an example! Prepare to be cursed beyond any curse that's ever cursed you! Buggly-wuggly-WOOOOOOO! You're cursed!

X-NAUT: *is cursed*

SPIRIT: Whee hee hee hee hee! Enjoy that curse, sucker! You got what you deserved! You wanna know about the sweet curse I just dropped? Then listen well! From now on, whenever you turn paperlike in certain areas, you'll turn into a paper airplane! Whee hee! Trembling yet? Suffer the rest of your days under my terrible curse! Oh, I can't help but chortle! You're DOOMED! Who curses like me? NO ONE!

A panel with a triangle symbol appears in front of X-Naut.

SPIRIT: But I'm still unsatisfied. I need to see your misery to truly appreciate it! Ready? If you stand on an airplane panel like this one, the floor will start to glow.

X-NAUT: *steps onto the airplane panel*

The panel starts to glow a yellowish color.

SPIRIT: All right, you're on the panel. Now try turning into a piece of paper! And bam! You're a paper airplane!

X-NAUT: *turns into a piece of paper, folds into an airplane, and starts gliding downward*

SPIRIT: The worst part of this curse is that you must aim your nose up and down to steer! I suppose that if you got good at it, you might fly a long way, but that's the ONLY good thing. So, be honest. Isn't this curse just about the worst thing you can possibly imagine?

X-NAUT: Maybe.

SPIRIT: What does that mean?! Oh, whatever. If you stop yourself in mid-flight, you MIGHT return to normal! Maybe!

X-NAUT: *unfolds back into himself*

SPIRIT: Farewell, you foolish fool! Whee hee hee hee!

The wallpaper crumples up and disappears. X-Naut is back in the room with his companions, who are giving each other odd looks.

BANDANA: OK, what was up with THAT girl?

YUXETTE: Yux? (Another "curse"?)

X-NAUT: Yep. Let's get going.

The team exits the room and heads up the stairs once more. X-Naut steps onto the airplane panel on top and goes into Plane Mode, gliding over to the far ledge on the left. Once he lands, he reverts to his normal papery self and enters the doorway. The room beyond…happens to be the room of the Thousand-Year Door. X-Naut and his buddies emerge from the doorway on the right ledge and walk down the stairs to the pedestal in the center.

PARAKETE: Whoa, X-dude, would you look…

BANDANA: At…

YUXETTE: Yux! (That!)

The Thousand-Year Door looms powerfully before them, its intricate star designs glistening gold over mighty terra cotta oak wood.

BANDANA: Could that be…the Thousand-Year Door spoken of in legends?

X-NAUT: It must be.

The group walks closer to the door.

PARAKETE: Wow… I see it, but I just don't believe it, man. The legends…they were true!

X-NAUT: So, this is the Thousand-Year Door… A legendary treasure is said to lie behind it.

YUXETTE: Yux… (But the door will only open when the seven Crystal Stars are exposed to it…)

BANDANA: Hey, X-buddy, are you after that treasure? You are searching for the Crystal Stars, aren't you?

X-NAUT: No, the treasure doesn't really interest me. But my boss, Sir Grodus, seems to want that treasure.

PARAKETE: Sounds like something an evil mastermind dude would want. X-dude, you sure your boss isn't out to rule the world?

X-NAUT: *turns to Parakete* What? Of course I'm sure!

The group heads back up the ledge that they entered upon and slips through some bars that divide the ledge. On the other side is a springboard that catapults X-Naut to an airplane panel above. X-Naut uses his new "curse" to glide over to the opposite ledge across the room. Once there, X-Naut shuffles through the next doorway and finds himself in a circular, dank room composed of black stones. Several hooks jut out from the walls and two green pipes rise out of the ground. One is taller than the other, so X-Naut heads over to the shorter one in the center, which is accompanied by a wooden sign. X-Naut reads it.

MESSAGE: DANGER! DO NOT ENTER! This pipe is the entrance to the Pit of 100 Trials! First Attack and Bump Attack badges don't work here, so BEWAAAAAAAAAAARE!

X-Naut jumps into the pipe and emerges in the 1st level of the Pit. It looks very similar to the above room, only rectangular. There are no pipes; just a yellow plate in the center of the floor. A Gloomba, a stronger, dark blue version of a Goomba, is seen walking around the floor. It sees and attacks X-Naut, but he and his friends defeat it with relative ease. As the Gloomba disappears, a pipe appears from the yellow plate on the floor. X-Naut goes down to the 2nd level and battles a Spinia. The next pipe appears when the Spinia is knocked out. The heroes keep going down, battling Gloombas, Spinias, Spanias, Fuzzies, and Dull Bones. Eventually, they reach Level 10, which contains a large treasure chest and a pipe that returns to the entrance. X-Naut opens the chest and finds a badge called Multislam. It's not the badge X-Naut is looking for, so he hits a switch and jumps down the revealed pipe.

The next nine levels house Paragloombas, Clefts, Pokeys, Dark Puffs and Piders. After defeating them all and reaching Level 20, X-Naut opens the large chest in the room and finds the Attack FX V badge!

BANDANA: Way to go, X-buddy! Now, let's get back to the surface. And be sure to equip that badge!

* * *

 **Part 6: Don Pianta**

X-Naut equips the Attack FX V badge as he and his team makes their way up to the surface. They backtrack through all of the rooms through until they emerge from the pipe in eastern Rogueport. They proceed to the west side, where Bandana stops them and tells of his plan.

BANDANA: All right, now it's time for the major part of the plan. This is where all that we've done comes into play. Here's what we've got to do, and we've got to do it perfectly!

Bandana whispers urgently to his friends. Later, X-Naut is standing near the end of the north street with Yuxette by his side. He looks down the street to the four-way intersection, where Parakete is flying around idly.

YUXETTE: Yux? (You ready, X-Naut?)

X-NAUT: *turns to Yuxette* I'm kind of nervous… If this plan doesn't work, we may find ourselves in deep trouble… *looks at Parakete*

PARAKETE: *looks around and then turns to X-Naut and gives him the thumbs-up*

X-NAUT: *turns to Yuxette* All right, Yuxette! Let's do it just like we were told!

YUXETTE: Yux! (Ready when you are!) *uses Duplicate*

A Mini-Yux is produced from Yuxette's focused energy. With one rotation around its parent, the Mini-Yux creates a yellow-greenish line around Yuxette, forming a barrier. X-Naut readies himself and then charges toward Yuxette, aiming not for the Mini-Yux but for the shield itself. X-Naut collides with the shield and bounces off, but the impact triggers the sound effect of the badge.

VOICE: Tee hee hee!

X-NAUT: …Hmm. That sounds familiar. Whoever made this badge did a good job of imitating Francesca's voice.

YUXETTE: Yux! (Do it again!)

X-NAUT: Right! *slams into Yuxette's shield again*

The noise of X-Naut's collision is transformed into the giggling of Francesca once again. From his spot, Parakete gives X-Naut and Yuxette a small nod before turning to the townsfolk.

PARAKETE: Oh my gosh! This is, like, totally not cool! Some Pianta girl is getting mugged by this dude! Can ya not hear the cries, people? Yeah, a Pianta girl! I heard her name was Francesca! She's getting her purse stolen—or wait—she's getting kidnapped! Oh, the horror! The inhumanity, man! Somebody's got to get some help! This is, like, way gnarly, dudes! Like, seriously!

All of the townspeople just stare at Parakete. Meanwhile, inside Don Pianta's office, the syndicate leader is having a chat with his henchmen, Vinny and Tony.

DON: WHAAAT?! You're sayin' dat my daughter Francesca an' Frankie have gone missing?

VINNY: Yeah, Boss. We're sorry, Boss. But we haven't seen 'em at all lately.

TONY: But I'm sure they're around somewhere, Boss. Dey can't be too far away.

DON: *jumps* Den what're you two waiting for? Find 'em NOW!

VINNY: & TONY: Yes, Boss! *run off*

DON: *turns around* …Frankie… I wonder if he…

VINNY & TONY: *suddenly run back in* Boss!

DON: *turns around* You boys back already? Did you find 'em?

TONY: Not yet, Boss, but, uh, dere's somethin' ya might wanna hear.

DON: Eh? What is it now?

VINNY: Dere was dis Koopa guy in town who was yellin' about a girl Pianta gettin' mugged and kidnapped.

DON: WHAT?! …I'm goin' down dere immediately! *runs out of the office*

VINNY & TONY: Hey, Boss! Wait up, Boss!

The two Piantas follow Don outside, running down the steps and scurrying into the back entrance of the Westside Goods. A few seconds later, Bandana peeks out from behind a cluster of barrels and then jumps out into the open.

BANDANA: *looks around* Well, so far, so good. *runs up the stairs and enters Don Pianta's office*

Back on the other side of the shop, Parakete is still calling out for help while down the street X-Naut continues to ram himself over and over again into Yuxette's barrier. By now, the all of the townsfolk have gotten the message and are panicking and running around in circles. X-Naut is starting to exhaust himself and Parakete is running out of things to say, but they still carry on.

PARAKETE: Oh, somebody…alert the officials! Do something! Will nobody answer those cries of distress?

X-NAUT: Tee hee hee!

The three Piantas finally exit the Westside Goods and take a look at the scene around them.

DON: What's goin' on here?! *sees Parakete* You! Tell me what's goin' on!

PARAKETE: *flies over to the Piantas* Oh, thank goodness you're here, man. This Pianta girl, Francesca…she's gettin' towed away!

DON: By who?!

PARAKETE: Uh…this big…blue Pianta! Yeah! It was a…big…blue…

DON: Grrrrrrraaaaaaarrrrrr… FRANKIE! *turns to Vinny and Tony* You two! Get out there and find 'em!

VINNY & TONY: Yes, Boss! *run to the center of town* Everybody, clear out!

All of the townsfolk stop their panicking and run away in random directions.

PARAKETE: *flies around to the north street* The sound was comin' from over there!

X-Naut and Yuxette quickly stop their voice-faking charade and run to the side of the street as Vinny and Tony stomp past them. Don Pianta continues to stand in front of the Westside Goods. The door to the shop opens and Bandana rushes out, carrying a thin piece of paper. In his hasty getaway, he bumps into the back of Don Pianta.

BANDANA: Oops! Pardon me.

DON: *turns around*

BANDANA: **!** Aaah! It's you!

DON: **!** Hey! It's you!

Bandana scurries around a building's corner to the north street with Don Pianta chasing him. Bandana runs blindly into X-Naut, knocking him to the ground.

VOICE: *activates* Tee hee hee!

DON: *just stands there* … *looks from X-Naut and Yuxette to Parakete and back* Boys!

VINNY & TONY: *come running back*

DON: Francesca's voice… It was comin' from dese loons!

VINNY: **!** Hey, yeah! And dey're da ones we booted out earlier!

TONY: And dere's dat Bandit loser again! …Is he…holdin' a blimp ticket?

BANDANA: Sorry, X-buddy. I guess I goofed again.

DON: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! I get it now! You all were workin' together to get yer thievin' hands on my tickets, weren't you! As if dat wasn't enough, ya used my daughter's voice to distract us! You scum… You think you can do dis to Don Pianta and live?! Yer all dead meat now! Boys! GET 'EM!

VINNY & TONY: Yes, Boss! *rush at X-Naut and his friends*

 _BATTLE MODE ENTERED!_

X-Naut and Bandana face the two Piantas, Vinny and Tony. [Can't flee this fight!]

X-NAUT: *uses Tattle Log on Vinny* That's Vinny, one of the Piantas that works for Don Pianta. Max HP is 20, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. Yowch. Pretty strong. His main attack is predictable, however. He mostly just runs and punches you. He's especially a pain when he's partnered up with his brother, Tony. We'd better take them out one at a time.

Bandana uses Knock Off on Vinny! NICE! Bandana dealt 2 damage to Vinny and swiped a coin from him!

Vinny uses Pianta Punch on X-Naut! Ouch, that one hurt! X-Naut -4 HP!

Tony uses Pianta Punch also! This time, X-Naut gives a NICE Guard, but still loses 3 HP!

X-Naut switches places with Bandana, who Knocks Off another coin on Vinny! NICE! Vinny lost 2 more HP!

X-Naut Tackle Slams Vinny NICEly, dealing 2 more damage!

Vinny pounds Bandana with a Pianta Punch, but the Bandit manages to Guard NICEly! Bandana -3 HP!

Tony goes in and does another round on Bandana, punching 4 HP out of his system!

Bandana switches out and Yuxette takes his place.

X-Naut Jump Slams Tony, dealing a NICE 2 points of damage!

Vinny Pianta Punches Yuxette, but she gives NICE Guard! She still lost 3 HP!

Tony repeats his brother's move and takes 3 more HP out of Yuxette, who NICEly Guards again!

Yuxette used Triplicate! -3 FP, but now there are two Mini-Yuxes on guard!

X-Naut uses his new attack, Multislam! -2 FP. X-Naut charges up his move and then performs a Jump Slam on Vinny! NICE one! Vinny lost 2 HP! But it's not done yet! Just after bouncing off Vinny, X-Naut does a somersault onto Tony! GOOD one! Tony lost 2 HP as well!

Vinny uses Pianta Punch on the first Mini-Yux, knocking it out!

Tony does the same on the other Mini-Yux!

Yuxette fires a Laser Ring at Vinny, who gets hit NICEly on his noggin! -3 HP! Vinny just has 9 HP remaining!

DON: *from offstage* Come on, boys! Stop dawdling about and finish 'em off! You ain't gonna let dese chumps make a mockery of da Pianta syndicate, are you?

VINNY: No way, Boss!

TONY: We'll take care of 'em, Boss!

X-NAUT: *uses Tattle Log on Tony* That's Tony, one of the Piantas that works for Don Pianta. Max HP is 20, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. Not something to make fun of. If we can get the timing of his punches down and attack him in return, then I think we'll be OK. It's when he's paired with his brother that we need to watch out. Attacks that hit multiple targets are pretty effective against them, so let's go on that.

Yuxette Guards against Vinny's attack, reducing the attack to 3 damage!

Tony closes in and hammers Yuxette with a Pianta Punch, but Yuxette still Guards! -3 HP!

Yuxette shoots another Laser Ring, which nails Vinny NICEly! -3 HP!

X-Naut uses his Dizzy Dial item! The whole theater seems to spin around at a blurring speed. When it stops, Tony becomes dizzy, but Vinny manages to avert his gaze!

Vinny runs in for another Pianta Punch on Yuxette, but she counters with a GREAT Superguard! Yuxette took no damage, and Vinny lost 1 HP!

Tony stumbles forward for a punch, but his swing just sends him spinning around.

Yuxette uses a Mushroom on X-Naut, who eats it and refills 5 of his HP!

X-Naut unlocks his hidden power and uses Seismic Wave! He holds up his clenched, gloved fists and starts absorbing energy! NICE! X-Naut's gloves enlarge! GOOD! The gloves start sparkling! GREAT! X-Naut's gloves are glowing! WONDERFUL! The gloves grow even larger! The gloves stop absorbing energy from there, so X-Naut slams his fists on the ground. Tremors course through the wood panels of the stage, knocking Vinny and Tony for a loop! They both lose 5 HP, which is enough to KO Vinny!

VINNY: Uuugh! Sorry, Boss! *faints*

Tony comes in for another Pianta Punch, but Yuxette does another GREAT Superguard! Tony -1 HP! Now he has only 10 left!

Yuxette switches out and Parakete comes in.

X-Naut batters Tony with a NICE Tackle Slam! Tony loses 2 HP!

Tony tries to move in on Parakete, but his dizziness gets ahold of him and he misses! As he steps back from his opponents, his shakes off his status condition.

Parakete uses his Shell Toss on Tony, damaging him for 2 points!

X-Naut Power Slams Tony NICEly for the cost of 2 FP! Tony lost 4 HP!

Tony delivers a quick Pianta Punch to Parakete, who Guards in the nick of time! Parakete -2 HP!

Parakete finishes off Tony with another NICE Shell Toss!

TONY: Aaargh! Forgive me, Boss! *falls*

DON: What's da matter wid you boys? Can't you beat a buncha miserable nobodies? *jumps onto the stage* Graah! I ain't gonna let you get away wid dis! I'll make you regret pullin' yer stunt on me, even if I have to do it myself! It's time for you to face da wrath of the Don of Untimely Death!

X-NAUT: *uses Tattle Log* That's Don Pianta! Max HP is 22, Attack is 4, and Defense is 1. Looks like we really ticked him off… Note to self: don't listen to Bandana's plans anymore. This guy's as tough as nails. He attacks with a single punch, but sometimes he dishes out a double-punch. There's no way out of this, so we're just going to have to whale on him.

Don Pianta runs forward and strikes Parakete with a Pianta Punch! Parakete Guards, but still loses 2 HP!

Parakete counterstrikes with a NICE Shell Toss! Don Pianta loses 1 HP!

X-Naut hits Don Pianta with a Power Slam! It costs 2 FP, but it's NICE nonetheless! Don Pianta -3 HP!

Don Pianta flexes his muscles, and dashes forward and punches Parakete! Parakete Guards and only takes 2 damage, but Don suddenly strikes with a second punch, dealing 3 damage! Peril! Peril! Parakete is hanging on by his last HP!

Parakete gets the heck out of there and gets replaced by Yuxette.

X-Naut dishes out another Power Slam on Don, dealing 3 more damage!

Don Pianta Pianta Punches Yuxette, but she Superguards once again! Don takes 1 damage!

Yuxette uses her strategy once again with Triplicate! -3 FP. Here come the Mini-Yuxes!

X-Naut appeals to the audience, who cheers and fills up his Star Power Gauge!

Don Pianta muscles up for his Double-Punch again! He smacks away at Yuxette, but both of his punches hit the same Mini-Yux!

Yuxette shoots Don with a Laser Ring!

X-Naut follows up with a Tackle Slam! Total damage: 3! The mob boss still has 11 HP remaining!

DON: Bleah! You're tougher dan you look, fella! But dat's never stopped Don Pianta before! I'll make sure you get your just desserts for yer scam!

Don Pianta punches out the second Mini-Yux!

Yuxette uses Duplicate, producing one more Mini-Yux! -1 FP. The team is now officially out of FP!

X-Naut uses Jump Slam! Boom! NICE! Don Pianta loses 1 more HP!

Don Pianta knocks the stuffing out of the last Mini-Yux!

Yuxette appeals to the audience! The Star Power gauge is now full!

X-Naut uses Seismic Wave once again! Begin the power-up! NICE! GOOD! GREAT! WONDERFUL! EXCELLENT! X-Naut's gloves are now bursting with power. He slams them on the ground with such force that it knocks a whopping 6 HP out of the Don of Untimely Death!

Don Pianta Double-Punches Yuxette, who Guards against each punch. Yuxette loses a total of 6 HP. Danger! Yuxette only has 2 HP left!

X-Naut switches places with his partner, and then switches out Yuxette for Bandana again.

Bandana scurries up to Don, waits a moment and then Knocks Off 1 HP from the sinister mobster, as well as a coin.

Don Pianta readies himself to Double-Punch X-Naut, but he Superguards, canceling out the attack! Don -1 HP!

At long last, it's time! X-Naut Slams into Don Pianta!

Bandana follows up with another Knock Off! Total damage: 2! Don Pianta is defeated!

DON: Doh! I can't believe it! You actually beat me! But dat's impossible! *collapses*

 _BATTLE MODE END!_

Back on the street in Rogueport, Don Pianta is still standing, breathing hard. Vinny and Tony stand nearby, looking totally out of it.

VINNY & TONY: **ع**

DON: I still can't believe you beat all of us Piantas… We're supposed to be tough! …But I guess you were tougher. Although I still won't forgive you for dat phony voice trick.

X-NAUT: But we just wanted the ticket to Glitzville!

DON: …Yeah? You really wanted it DAT badly? …Fine den. Keep it.

YUXETTE, PARAKETE & BANDANA: Huh? What? Yux? (Huh, what?)

DON: Not like it makes a difference. I still got plenty more tickets. And seein' as dat you beat us Piantas, you'd be perfect for Glitzville! …But listen, if you really wanted a ticket dat badly, you should've just asked.

X-NAUT: But—

DON: I know, I shoved ya away da first time. But in dat battle, I saw how determined you were. If ya just used dat kind of spunk for somethin' other dan fighting, I'm sure you would've gotten dat ticket eventually.

X-NAUT: …

DON: I'm lettin' you go for now, but if you utter so much as a single word about defeating us…I swear we'll pulverize you 'til we can't pulverize no more!

X-NAUT: *nods*

DON: Good! Den keep your ticket and we'll just forget dis ever happened, OK? *turns to Vinny and Tony* You two!

VINNY: & TONY: **!**

DON: Looks like we've been gettin' sloppy. Time to get ourselves some serious training done!

VINNY: Yes, Boss!

TONY: You got it, Boss!

Vinny and Tony walk back to the Westside Goods entrance. Don Pianta starts to follow them but stops and turns back to X-Naut.

DON: You can bet your money that da Pianta syndicate will be back and better dan ever. So…I don't ever wanna see you stealin' from me again! You hear me? Don't come back! *leaves*

X-Naut and all of his partners gather together and look at Bandana.

BANDANA: Wow! Incredible! We actually got the ticket from Don Pianta! Amazing! Maybe he's not as bad as Ishnail says he is… Ahem. *notices everyone's stares* …What? OK, so maybe I handled things the wrong way, but at least we got the ticket, right? Which, I guess, rightfully belongs to you, X-buddy. *hands the piece of paper to X-Naut*

X-NAUT: *obtains the Blimp Ticket*

Suddenly, more lights start shining around X-Naut.

PARAKETE: Ah!

BANDANA: What the…?

Another piece of X-Naut's memory is restored! X-Naut's Star Power is now 3! And X-Naut remembered the special move Twistornado!

 **E** **N** **D** **O** **F** **C** **H** **A** **P** **T** **E** **R**

After an almost-successful theft, X-Naut finally showed Don Pianta who was da boss. Fortunately, Don Pianta was gracious enough to let X-Naut keep the blimp ticket. Now, with the ticket, X-Naut can finally travel to Glitzville, where another Crystal Star hides. With his hopes high, X-Naut heads to the blimp with his new pal, Bandana. Will X-Naut be able to snatch the Crystal Star before this Mario?

* * *

 **Lord Crump's Interlude**

Inside a large, circular room coated with pale yellow leaves and rows upon rows of tree trunks forming the walls, Lord Crump stands. He paces back and forth across the layers of the ground, which grow heavier the closer to the walls. Ten large black-and-white podiums with white statues stand near the north wall of the room. The statues depict slug-like creatures, each with four stubby legs, two googly eyes, and a single antenna that extends out in between the eyes. The statues seem to watch Crump as he looks around.

LORD CRUMP: Hmm… Lemme see… That thing's gotta be around here somewheres… *turns around* **!** Buh…huh? What's that? Whoa! Sounds like a mob! Better clear out… *runs off and hides behind a podium*

Through a gap in the west wall, a mustachioed man in a red cap and blue overalls trots into the room. Following behind him is a female Goomba with a blond ponytail and an archaeology suit, a Koopa with a light-blue shirt and a band-aid on his noggin, and a rather shapely wind spirit woman with thick lips, violet hair, green pearl earrings, and a golden necklace. Behind those three arrives at least a hundred and one tiny critters that resemble the figures crafted in the statues, only with small orbs attached to their antennae.

CRUMP: It's that Mario guy! And…those are all of those Puni creatures! But how? How?!

Mario walks up to the black-and-white-designed plate in the center, the lowest point in the room, and places an orange orb onto a pedestal. All of the Punies crowd near it, stepping onto the plate. When all of the critters are on board, the platform glows, the room shakes, and then an emerald Crystal Star floats out of a basin mounted on the front statue.

GOOMBA: Wow, Mario! Check it out! The Crystal Star! Score!

CRUMP: *runs out of hiding and grabs the Crystal Star*

MARIO, GOOMBA, KOOPA & WOMAN: **!**

KOOPA: What? Did he just… Hey! What's going on here?

CRUMP: Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! Man, am I lucky or what? Or am I just gooooood? "Oh, you say you need a Crystal Star, Lord Crump?" BOOM! Falls right in my lap! *notices Mario* **!** Still, this is humiliating! You shouldn't have been able to escape that cell… So, for insulting my awesome trap, I'm gonna repay you with a little present! Know what it is? *pulls out a remote* Oh, just a little something I like to call A REMOTE TIME-BOMB DETONATOR! *walks toward the wall while facing Mario* I'm gonna use this to bury you and those squirmy Punies in rubble! Sound fun? Well, enjoy your final minutes inside this dank old tree! And with that…pow! I'm gone! *presses the button*

A timer set for 300 seconds (5 minutes) starts ticking. A pipe appears from the wall near Lord Crump, and he takes it to the room above. It's a small room with small streams of water running along the ground, weaving around the white bushes. Crump opens a metallic red electronic door as two X-Nauts run past him to stall the pursuing Mario and his friends.

The next room is extremely spacious and has two levels, but Lord Crump knows his way around the tree…for the most part. He takes another gray-colored pipe to the level above, which consists of a thin, zigzagging walkway with two openings on either wall, as well as a pipe that leads upwards. Crump runs across the long, sharply swerving walkway until he gets to the opposite side with an opening. He goes through, only to find that the room beyond is a dead end. He runs back, through the zigzagging walkway again, and he dashes through the opening on the opposite side. The room there is another dead end. Sweating profusely, Lord Crump turns back to the walkway and takes the pipe leading upward.

The room Crump emerges in is equally as spacious as the last one, but with only one way out. He runs across the leafy landscape to a gray pipe at the other side of the room. He takes it up to the second level, which is a more straightforward walkway, traveling alongside the southern wall. Crump follows it back to the other side of the room, where he takes another pipe upwards.

The next room is split by a large gap in the middle, from which pink bubbles float up. A large, gray pillar rises up in between the two sides of land, providing a platform to hop from one side to the other. Lord Crump jumps onto the platform and attempts to jump to the left side, but misses and falls into the gap, landing in a pond full of watery, pink liquid. Crump shuffles out onto the left bank, where he takes a pipe right up to the level above, the land he attempted to jump to. He opens the electronic door embedded in the wall.

 **Author's Note (2006):** "At this point, Lord Crump is given the opportunity to save, as if that's important to this story."

Lord Crump crosses the next room and heads for the opposite side, which happens to be the exit out of the Great Tree. He is stopped by a rather shriveled-looking Puni with droopy eyes, a gray upper torso, a droopy lower torso with no visible legs, and a droopy antenna with a purple orb bobbing on it.

PUNI ELDER: You won't be going any farther this-a-way!

CRUMP: *jumps* What?! Are you nuts? Move it, you old geezer!

ELDER: *grows huge all of a sudden* WHAAT?!

CRUMP: *shrinks*

ELDER: *goes back to normal size* Did you just call me an "old geezer"? Where do you get off, talking like that?

CRUMP: *shrinks more*

ELDER: You got no respect, brat! Don't think my age has a thing to do with my might!

CRUMP: *shrinks even more*

ELDER: Even if it kills me, I won't let you through! I'm ready! ELDER POWER ACTIVATE!

CRUMP: *reverts to normal size and takes a step back* Whoa. What's your problem, Gramma? You got an ear hair tickling your brain, or what?

ELDER: Oh! Ooh! What the…OUCH! Can't…take…another…step… Oooooooog…

Something cracks.

ELDER: *winces* …Urk! What a time for my stupid back to start acting up!

CRUMP: You hotheaded old coot! You dare defy me? I could shine my boots with you!

VOICE: Ahem! You'll do no such thing!

CRUMP: *turns around* **!**

Mario and his partners are standing just a few feet behind Lord Crump.

WOMAN: Honestly, did you REALLY believe we'd let a wretch like you escape? I do believe you'll be handing over that Crystal Star and promptly exiting this tree!

CRUMP: Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! You guys are nuts, you know that? Oh well. I guess I'd better shut off this timer. *takes out the remote, presses the button, and puts it away* OK, you pests! One pummeling coming up…with extra fists! Metal fists, that is! *pulls out the remote again and pushes the button*

A giant orb floats down from the ceiling, the top half made of glass, and the bottom half being red metal. Crump jumps into the orb, and four flaps of reddish-pink paper spread out from the orb crosswise so that Crump looks like he's sitting in the middle of a giant X.

CRUMP: Awaken, Magnus von Grapple! Time for a technological thrashing! Enjoy!

The paper X folds downward into a box, and from the box sprouts zigzagged paper arms and legs. Smaller paper boxes form the fists and the feet. Soon, Lord Crump is sitting inside his own robot and makes it stomp over to Mario and his partners.

CRUMP: Are you crying yet? Yeah? Sorry, but this thing isn't armed with tissues. Well, Magnus von Grapple has that effect on people. Total, weeping terror. And you ain't seen nothing yet! Check out the power on this bad boy!

Lord Crump commands Magnus von Grapple to walk around and stomp on Mario and his friends as they run about and try to attack the giant mech. He launches the rocket-powered fists at them, which automatically home in and strike Mario and his partners until they knock the fists out, upon which they will eventually return to Magnus. Also, with each successful attack, a Charge gauge slowly fills up. When it reaches its maximum capacity, Magnus von Grapple is able to unleash an earthquake to strike Mario's entire group except the spirit woman, since she floats above the ground.

There is no way for Lord Crump to defeat Mario and his partners, no matter how much he attacks them. His hits merely rack up points on a scoreboard. The goal is simply to obtain the high score. Magnus von Grapple has a health gauge that slowly empties out with each hit it takes from Mario and his partners. Once the gauge hits zero, the score is saved as Magnus starts malfunctioning.

CRUMP: Bleeeeee-harrrrgh… This could be the end…

Magnus von Grapple explodes and Lord Crump is blown onto the ground, away from the Crystal Star.

CRUMP: Buh! Bu-AAAAAARGH! No! Magnus von Grapple! How could we lose?! *hops onto his feet and turns to Mario's group* Hurff… Hurfff… Hurffff… I'll remember this, losers! *turns and runs away*

VOICE: Lord Crump summons us!

Mario, his friends, and the whole mob of Punies watches as several X-Nauts run past after Lord Crump.

X-NAUTS: Retreat! Heads up! Run away! Wait up! *trips, gets back up, and runs out*

* * *

 **X-Naut White's Interlude**

Back at the site of the Thousand-Year Door, X-Naut White reads a book while sitting on the pedestal in the middle of the room.

X-NAUT WHITE: Hmmm… The Thousand-Year Door…looks just like the great door in these pictures. *puts away the book and stands up* But there are also those weird inscriptions on the walls… *looks at the walls inscribed with designs* But the book doesn't mention anything about them. They must still be a mystery… I'll copy them down and show them to Professor Frankly. *takes a clipboard, walks to the walls, and draws* That should be enough. Now to head back to the surface.

X-Naut White leaves the room through the right exit with the clipboard in hand. He hops off the ledge in the next room and heads for the green pipe just beside the wall, but a Spinia spots him and spins into him, knocking him down. The clipboard falls on the ground and the Spinia, seeing that White is trying to get it back, picks it up on top of its head and spins away. White chases it, avoiding the second Spinia in the room. He finally catches up to the thief and stomps on it, stunning it and making it drop the clipboard. X-Naut White picks up the clipboard and runs for the green pipe, jumping over the second Spinia as it dashes for him.

X-Naut White successfully makes it to the room above, the garden-variety corridor. He attempts to make his way up the steps to the right while avoiding the Spiny Goomba. Since the path is narrower than the room before, it's much harder for White to get past the enemies, which all seem to be interested in stealing the clipboard for some reason. White runs left across the long ledge after getting up the steps, avoiding an interloping Paragoomba. He finally reaches the green pipe and slides through it.

White appears from the top of the pipe partly surrounded by rubble and bars. Since White doesn't have Paper Mode, he jumps off the ledge to the right onto the ground just below, only to find a Goomba, a Paragoomba, and a Spiny Goomba all patrolling the area. They spot X-Naut White and run at him, but he quickly jumps up the stairs leading left and jumps through the last pipe.

Now X-Naut White is on the surface of eastern Rogueport. He hops off the pipe and shuffles into the house on the right, Professor Frankly's place.

WHITE: Professor Frankly!

PROFESSOR FRANKLY: *turns to X-Naut White* Whuzzuh? Who is it this time? Oh! Trevor Napkins! What brings you here?

WHITE: *walks up to the desk* While searching around the Thousand-Year Door, I glimpsed these inscriptions. I don't know what they are, but I thought that if anyone would know, it would be you, professor.

FRANKLY: Well, how flattering! Anyhoo, I guess I should take a look at those things…

WHITE: Here are some sketches I made of them. *shows Frankly the clipboard*

FRANKLY: Hmmmm…

WHITE: So? Do you know them, professor?

FRANKLY: *sets down the clipboard* Nope! Never seen them before!

WHITE: *jumps out of surprise* What?! But, professor…

FRANKLY: Sorry! But it's true! In all my years of research, I've never come across symbols quite like these. Usually, I know EVERYTHING about these kinds of things… But these symbols stump even me! To have something this perplexing come up in my research… This is no small matter. I shall look into this immediately!

Suddenly, the room is filled with the loud, beeping music of a ring tone.

WHITE & FRANKLY: **!**

FRANKLY: Great Goomba's ghost! What's that?!

WHITE: Um, it's just my Mailbox SP. Let me take this message… *goes outside and opens Mailbox DS*

The image of Sir Grodus appears on the top screen.

SIR GRODUS: X-Naut White! How is that research coming?

WHITE: Very well, sir.

GRODUS: Well, I summon you back to the fortress. You will resume your research later.

WHITE: Yes, sir. *closes Mailbox DS and goes back inside the house*

FRANKLY: *is reading a book*

WHITE: Professor Frankly, an urgent meeting has been called. I must return to my ship for a while.

FRANKLY: *still reading* Very well, Mr. Napkins. I look forward to more of your research.

X-Naut White leaves the place while Professor Frankly continues to imbibe his book.


End file.
